You can't change it.

You know what I hate? The fact that you can't change who you like. And especially when it's something you regret later, or people make fun of you about it, even years after it happened. Or when people get mad at you like you're a horrible person for liking someone. And they roll their eyes when you're near them. As if you could choose! Oh if only it were that easy! And somehow it can manage to haunt you for years to come. And if you ever make the slightest comment about the guy you used to like, or speak to them for too long, the guy and other people assume you still like them. Or they watch your every move, trying to add up your actions to see if you do still like him, as if it's a crime. It's annoying! If I could only reverse time and stop anyone from knowing some of the people I've liked.

On top of that, I wish that you could choose the people you did like! There are some great guys out there that I've met but had no feelings towards. There was nothing wrong with them, not like they could change something about themselves to make me like them, there was just nothing there.




On a different note, today was a great lazy day. I slept in til 1:00 PM, accidently hitting snooze so many times that it stopped going off. I took a shower til the hot water ran out, watched Gilmore Girls again, was on the internet, watched a movie, and not much else today! I plan on doing some more cleaning tonight. It's 11:30 and the night is still young. :-)

Randomness of today

Today I bought $100 worth of stuff at the School Box from a gift card. It was so exciting! I have all this great stuff now that I can't wait to use! When I was about 9 years old my grandma got me a play school kit where I pretended to have all these little students and stuff, and buying the stuff today made me feel like that again, that I was just playing. But nope, this is for real. Well, in a year and a half that is. Got a long journey ahead before that happens though.

I also bought some jeans at Old Navy today with a gift card, and my goodness they have too much to choose from. Low rise, mid rise, high rise, boot cut, skinny leg, flare leg, blah blah blah. Thankfully I guess well and only picked out 3 types and one of them fit just right.

New Year's Eve is Thur night, no plans yet. When I was younger we used to go to my parent's friends house or they'd come here, and it didn't really matter to me because I usually brought a book or something to do. Then I'd baby-sit for people, which I frankly rather do because I'm broke right now, and I like kids, and nobody to hang out with anyways. And the past 2 years I went to an all-nighter lock-in with the youth group about an hour away. Both years I was exahusted by morning. This year they're not doing that. But someday I hope to have a life and do something interesting on new year's eve.

Anywho, time's a tickin. Going to watch some more Gilmore Girls and make the best of every single minute of my christmas break. :-)

Cleaning, Gilmore Girls, and my devotion tonight

Cleaning phase 2: Deep cleaning. Isn't it great when you find something you forgot you even had? I bought a hoodie for Kenya specifically, that would be ok to get dirty even though I really liked it. But it wouldn't fit in my suitcase, and last min I threw it in my closet. That was July. And I just found it! And I'm so excited about it! hahaha. And then there's cords you're not sure what it goes to but feel obliged to keep it becuase some day you might need it, 5 cases of staples because I forgot I'd already bought some several times, and other random things. Not done yet, still working. And I admit, I'm a packrat when it comes to certain things.

Last night I watched 4 shows of the Gilmore Girls from season 1. It is orriginally $50, but on ebay I got it for like $15 in the summer. I've slowly watched it over this semester. Oh I love the Gilmore Girls. It's funny and I laugh out loud sometimes. I've seen all 7 seasons at some point, but I don't remember it all of course.

If you don't have a devotional book or if you're looking for a new one, I highly suggest, "Streams in the Desert" by L.B. Cowman. There's "an updated edition in today's language" which it says at the top, and it's easier to read than the previous one. I had it coming to me every day in e-mail for a few years, but I got in the habit of not reading it or just deleting it. But I have the book too. I read Dec 28-30 today because I just felt like it. Several things from Dec 30 was good. It talked about Peter being in prison and then the angel who came and let him out of the chains and opened the gates and set him free.

"Perhaps there is some 'iron gate' in your life, blocking your way. Like a caged bird, you have often beaten against the bars, but instead of helping your situation, you have become even more tired and exhausted and caused yourself more heartache. There is a secret for you to learn - the secret of believing prayer."

"Spoken prayer is not always needed, for prayer can often be too intense for words."

"'Groans that words cannot express' (Romans 8:26) are often prayers that God cannot refuse."

Hello. We're related somehow.

"Hello. I am your cousin. Not a first cousin, I think we're like 3rd cousins 1st removed or something. I don't know. I mean, I think our grandma's are some kind of cousins.....yeah. We're related." :-) Today I met family I've never met. Cousins to the 5th power. Who knows. Haha.

My grandma's brother and his wife told us how they've moved into a retirement home in the past few years and love it. They said it is so much fun! Someone referred to it as a curise ship! They don't have to leave their place to get anything because they give them meals there, the place has a bank, a drug store, a post office, live entertainment, two movies a week (one old one and one current one), and more! The way they described it made me want to go to that retirement home now! hahaha. Seriously - you don't have to work, you're around people all your age, and you just do whatever you want. Fun. I've only got about 55 years to go. :-D They said the youngest you could get in there was 62 though - wow! So that'd actually be 40 years. Hahaha.

Books and movies

Movies I've seen lately:

"What About the Morgans?" It's about a seperated couple who sees a murder while living in NY, and the killer is trying to kill them so they have to relocate in the witness protection program in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming. They know nothing about living out there, and it's really funny as they try to get used to that life, and as the killer continues to try to find them.

"All About Steve." I love Sandra Bullock and most of her movies, but I wasn't impressed with this one. It was ok, but not that great. She plays a dorky woman who is in love with a guy who doesn't like her back, but she follows him all over the country to be with him on his job and he tries to find ways to get rid of her.

Books I'm reading:

"The Church of Facebook; How the hyperconnected are redefining community." by Jessee Rice. I just started, but it seems good.

"Talking to the Dead" by Bonnie Grove. I just finished this book. It's about a woman who's husband died and as she grieves she hears her dead husband talking to her. She thinks she's going crazy. She tries to sort out her life and get back to normal. It was an ok book, not that great.

Merry Christmas!

Oh life. Such a strange and funny thing.

Lets see, where to start. I'll work backwards. Today is Christmas. Merry Christmas. I went to my parents house and we "opened presents" which I got some money and a gift card. I will be excited later when I actually use that money. The gift card is for The School Box, which I asked for, and I am excited about buying stuff for my future classroom. However, there were no presents for me to open. And it makes me think, when you take away the presents what does Christmas mean to you? What else makes the day Christmas besides the presents? The past several years we see a movie on Christmas day, so today me, my parents, and my grandparents went to see "What about the Morgans." It was a great movie! My brother Chris stayed home because he didn't want to see it. My mom always makes chocolate covered cherries and we had some of that yesterday too. Other than that I have not been feeling so great today - really tired and stomach hurts, so soon I will take a nap. Yes it's 5:30 PM, but a nap is a must. Not a very eventful Christmas day, but then again they won't always be.

Yesterday my grandparents (from NC) came and saw my house, and then we drove them around my college and showed them through the window what the buildings were because she worked there 45 years ago when it started and only had like 100 people going there. Now it has 25,000. At 4:30 I went to Northwest Christian Church to help in the nursrey - the service started at 5:00 and ended around 6:20. We had 3 babies and 2 adults, but then a third came in just because she wanted to. Well around 5:50 was when the third baby came in and she was 1 month old. She was so tiny, didn't weigh a lot, but could hold her head up. I held her the rest of the time and she was so cute! Like a baby doll. She had big blue eyes and when I held her front of the mirror she stared with big eyes. When I changed her she didn't even scream, she just looked at me like she was amazed with me. But then I couldn't get her stockings on. Changing a baby's clothes is so hard because they're so little and fragile. It took me forever and I had to hold her with one arm and pull up the stockings with the other. Note to self - don't put stockings on babies when I have one. Well then I said hello to people after the service was over and went home to eat dinner with my family.

At 10:30 I went to Mars Hill Church to go to their 11:00 serivce. It was very crowded and it was good to see some people that I don't see often and others that I do see often. It's different than it use to be though. In high school I always stood in the lobby with the other high schoolers from the youth group, and we stood in a circle and talked away, saying hello to people as they came in. Now I stand out there by myself each year since then, just to see who all comes in and still say hello to others, buy by myself. During the last two songs we always get little candles and light them all, and it always makes me nervous. One the the hot wax will get my skin, and two that someone will drop it or catch something on fire. Of the 400 something people in the room, and year after year, how could something not catch on fire? Someone's hair, clothes, bulletin, I mean something? I can't imagine being caught on fire and having to stop drop and roll if you're in the middle of the row, having to climb over people and get to an open spot while being on fire, and all the while the whole church watching you and freaking out. Ohhh my goodnses. So this whole thought process goes through my mind every christmas. Hahaha.

During the holidays it's time for the family. And I sometimes think, will I have a family with kids that don't like me when they get older? Or kids that don't like my parents? Or what if I don't like my future husband's side of the family and we have to see them every holiday? As each family is different there are sure to be people who don't get along or people who frustrate you. And yet I think back to a acronymn I heard at a conference in high school with my church about family: FAMILY - Forget About Me, I Love You! We would yell it out to everybody all the time at youth group. That's what family is supposed to be about. Forgetting about all your selfish wants and loving others. Sometimes people do that, and sometimes people don't. I wish people did more often.

Cleaning + Christmas

If I had enough money, I'd pay someone to clean my house. I don't like to do it. And of all the cleaning jobs, sweeping is my least favorite. And most of my house is hardwood or tile, except the bedrooms. I hate it because: 1. All the stuff gets stuck to the bottom of the broom, coming off again later. 2. When you sweep it into the dust pan, there's always some that doesn't get in there no matter how many times you try. And it's annoying. 3. When there's dog hair or human hair, it just gets all stuck on the broom and it's gross. 4. You have to look at what you're sweeping up, including bugs!! AHH! With vaccuming you don't have to look at it at all, you just move it around the room and you're done as long as you get the whole room and don't miss spots. 5. It takes longer.

I just had to sweep my whole house. :-(

When I clean my house, I put a bunch of songs I like on my laptop, turn up the volume, and sit it on the breakfast bar counter since it's in the center of our house. It's good.

My 2nd least favorite cleaning to do is cleaning the bathtub. Because you have to get on your knees, scrub hard, and the cleaning stuff stinks. You have to keep running water on it to get it wet, soap it up, scrub it, wash it out, etc. Blah. Stupid bathtubs. And spraying it with whatever just doesn't seem to work well for me. I either forget or it doesn't seem to make a difference. Oh cleaning. You stink. Figuratively and literally.

Next week is Christmas. I'm 21, my brother 17, and we have mostly what we need / want besides random stuff that is too expensive, haha, and my parents feel the same. So we're scrambling around trying to figure out what to get each other....well my brother isn't buying anything for anybody b/c he doesn't have a job. I said I just wanted a gift card for the School Box, a huge store where you get teacher stuff. Ohhhhh I'm excited about this!!! Stickers, posters, games, bathroom passes, flash cards, books, stuff to put in my wonderful little room on August 2011. I don't have much right now and I need to get i gradually so I'm not forking out 100's of dollars the summer before I start. Elementary school classrooms have a lot more stuff than middle and high school classrooms. I'm also hoping I'll be around some nice teachers who will give me stuff they don't want anymore, haha. I've seen some classrooms that have bunk beds in them! Ha! And sofas and futons and stuff. Awesome. Not me for a while, but i want something cool in my room too.

I made 4 A's and 1 B this semester. Whoo!

This morning for breakfast I went to "Cocoa Bean Cafe" which I went to last week for the first time, and it's my new favorite little place. It's not even 5 min from my house, and it has sandwhiches, soups, breakfast foods, coffees, etc. Their egg, cheese, sausage or bacon, buscuits are AMAZING. It's a small little place, but I plan on going back more often. It makes me smile. I like little places like cafes, starbucks, etc. Except when they're overflowing with people. Haha. Cafe Intermezzo in Atlanta was awesome. Some day, when I have a boyfriend, I want to go on a date there.

As I'm cleaning my house, I stop every so often to write on here. Clean, write. Clean, write. :-) The hardest thing for me to do is stay focused while cleaning my room because I see stuff and start looking at it. For example - my Kenya pictures, books, etc.

And now, finally, my house is clean. Now, it's "surface clean" but not deep cleaned. Ie - our office room is full of stuff that has no where else to go, so we put it in and close the door. :-) My closet, top dresser drawer, etc. is full and unorganized, to be deep cleaned later. So if nobody opens doors or drawers, we're good. Hahah. Such is life.

Tonight some friends are coming over to play games, eat food, etc. It will be good.

Friends, wedding, skating, fun

Oh how I love Christmas break!!!!

Saturday morning I had breakfast with Kim and Melissa Talmage at Cocoa Bean Cafe, a little cafe near us. It was very good. Then I went to Katelyn Wood Standford's wedding! I admit - I cried some. It was so sweet and emotional! Katelyn looked beautiful! I saw some of my high school friends there as well. At night I went to a young adults' party at my church, NWCC, and that was good. We played games and laughed so hard we cried.

Last night, Mon night, I went to Chilli's for dinner with the young adults from my other church, Mars Hill, and then we drove into Atlanta to ice skate at Centinal. It wasn't even cold enough to need a jacket though! haha. We skated a while, and miraculously I didn't fall, then went to Cafe Intermezzo. It was all dark with candles, dim lights, mirrors all over the place (big ones too that covered the whole wall), and lots of small rooms and bars with little tables. The menu had 20 or so pages of coffees, hot chocolates, sodas, alcoholic drinks, etc. and I got peppermint hot chocolate which was amazing. And I got a piece of oreo cheesecake which was also amazing. There we sat and talked, laughed, and had fun for about an hour. We sang in the car. We got back to the church at 1 AM and then I went home. It was good. Not many of us last night or on Sat night, but you can still have a great time with small numbers.

I've also hung out with some other friends for lunch and dinner, and more to come. Christmas is next week and that's exciting. Ah, good times.

Those great people in your past

Tonight I went to my high school to watch a chorus concert. I was in chorus all 4 years, and played piano for the concert the first semester out of high school, but since then I have not been to see a concert. I went to see my chorus teacher, Michelle Lokhorst. When I was in high school we sang in the cafeteria because the theater wasn't built yet, and now they sing in there.

So going there again and watching them sing brought back so many memories, like it was yesterday. Like I should have been up there. No way should I be in my 4th year of college sitting out in the audience knowing nobody in the room. I remember our chorus dresses that were all black, with sparkles in the middle and velvet on the top. All the girls would be in the bathrooms putting on make-up, doing whatever to their hair, etc. Craming in the chorus room to warm up, being too loud, nervously lining up to go in the cafeteria to sit down and then on the risers. I remember chorus being my favorite part of the day. I had close friends in there, I liked to sing, and I liked Mrs. Lokhorst. We went to a competition each year called festival where judges judged the group, I went to All-state my sophomore and senior year where we try out with kids all over the state and the best go to Savannah for a weekend and sing with the other bests of the state and perform a concert, I was in a trio my junior and senior year that went to another competition called literary meet, and I sang the national anthem all 4 years in high school for graduation - the first 3 as a solo, and the last year as a trio. I was the big fish in the little pond. There were a few other big fish around me, but just a few. Libby Bailey, Kaley Harper (both in my trio my senior year), and a few others.

After the concert I got to talk to Michelle for a while and it was good. She was my favorite teacher in high school. She was someone I went to when I was having a bad day or needed advice or somebody to talk to. She was always very supportive, encouraging and a great person. I always enjoyed our conversations and she let me tag along with whatever she was doing during pep ralleys when I didn't want to stand in the stands with people screaming in my ears or when school was over and I was waiting for my mom to pick me up on days I stayed late for something. We've kept in touch some over the past 3 and a half years, but she is one of those people in my life that I wish I could see her more often and that I hope to keep up with for a long time.

Sometimes you have to really step back and appreciate the people you have in your life right now. Every day. The people you're in class with, the people you work with, your family, your friends, people in your church, people in whatever hobby you might do, etc. Because there will come a time when they move on or you move on, and you might be able to keep up with them, but it's different than seeing them every day for months or years. You then have to decide - who will I keep up with? How much effort am I willing to put into it? How often should I make the effort? There are lots of great people I could keep in touch with, but we're busy people living in a busy world and I can't keep up with everybody.

I have this bulleton board in my room with pictures on it. It's full of pictures, no blank spaces are left. I put pictures of all the people in my life that I want to keep up with. The ones who have made a difference in my life at one point in time and that I want to make the effort to keep in touch, even if it's only once or twice a year. More than a hello on facebook or a quick e-mail. Some I still see often, but some I only see once a year or so. But it remindes me that those are the people who have shaped who I am and who have made a mark on me, and I care for all of them.

I eat my desert before my dinner and it makes me happy

Today I slept in til 11:00 and then had lunch with Jennifer Frisch at Panera Bread. It was good food and I'm glad we got to have lunch! She's a cool person and I hope we can keep in touch. Then I baby-sat for the older two of the 4 kids I "kid-sit" on a regular basis. (Since none of them are babies they prefer to call it kid-sitting but I always forget to say that.) I helped them with homework, we watched TV, and did other random things. The mom got home early, so I then went to Mars Hill to eat dinner there and two sweet girls ran to hug me. Megan is 7 and Amanda is 3 and I baby-sit for them. When I got my food they said, "Jennifer! Sit here!" So I sat with them. As their mom Brandi told Amanda she had to finish her dinner before she could have a desert (a cookie), Amanda fussed and said she was full and then she just didn't want to finish. I inwardly smiled because I ate my cookie first, as I stood in line to get my dinner, and then another one after. It's the small moments like that that make me appreciate my age. :-)

After dinner I bought stamps at the grocery store - geez they're expensive - and then went home and put stamps on the christmas cards I had, sealed them, and stuck them in the mailbox, minus a few people's who I have not finished or don't have their address yet. Even though half of those people I could hand them their card, it's more fun to send it in the mail because nobody sends stuff in the mail anymore. It's like SO last century. :-D I then watched the season finale of "Glee" which I originally thought was a stupid show, but it turned out really good! And funny. And they sing well too. I then was on the internet for a while - I played "Bejewelled Blitz" on facebook until I was #1 in my rank of friends again without feeling guilty for the amount of time I spent on it because it's not like I have homework to do - and then finished off a book. I finished reading, "Kiss" by Tedd Dekker and it was good! But the whole thing was intense. I wonder what my face looks like as I read because I'm sure it's making all kinds of expressions as I read. Ha.

Yesterday I had lunch with Kellie Dailey and that was great as well. It was a rainy day though, and the whole day looked like it was just about to be night time. I ran some errands and one was at Home Depot. Yuck. Massive confusion for me. I was looking for a certain type of screw and anchor that is supposed to hold a shelf on the wall that I bought at Wal-mart. So after asking the guys who work there, the guy looks at my directions and then says, "Well, I haven't seen a screw like that in a long time. We don't carry them." "Where can I get it?" "Well....I don't think you can." Why would they make instructions with screws that don't exist anymore?! So I said, "Well, is there something close to it that I can use?" So then they proceed to look through drawers and hooks and baskets of screws. Sizes, shapes, etc. and go on to talk about the type of wall that it could go through, etc. Wah wah wah wah wah. I nod and act like I'm interested but I'm not. I just want them to hand me the screws I need so I can pay and get out. He finally hands me some and says, "This should work if you use an elctric drill and make sure you don't put it in a...." some kind of wall. Which I knew nothing about. I paid and left. I have no elctric drill, nor would I trust myself to use it. So, I have to find someone else who can do it. All the trouble for this little shelf I bought at wal-mart. But it's pink. And it's cool looking. So I will venture on to see if I can get it up.

At the end of each day I look at my list of things to be done during my break and think, "Oh man, I know 5 weeks is a lot, but will I get it all done?" And only some of it is stuff I REALLY need to get done and don't want to. Like cleaning my room and office, selling stuff I don't want anymore on ebay, etc. But other things I DO want to do, it's just time consuming or it takes a longer amount of time. Like reading a book.

I love to read, but can only do so for about 4 hours max in one sitting. And no more than twice a day really. So that is an ongoing thing. I love books. Ooooohhhhhh I love to read. I'm glad this is something I enjoy because I can take it with me when I baby-sit and they're watching a movie or asleep, when I'm waiting in a doctor's or dentist's office, when I'm inbetween classes with no access to a computer to do homework, etc. It's portable, small, and something I love to do. I remember in middle school I bought a purse big enough to fit a book in it and always carried one with me. However, I now only read during the summer and Christmas break because I just don't have time otherwise. If I try, it interferes with class / homework because I sit down and read for 2 hours accidently (can't just read one chapter!!) instead of doing homework.

Tomorrow thrills me because my day is pretty much empty.....free to fill with wonderful things that can only be done on my breaks. This makes me smile.

Friends...or the lack of friends

I don't think I will ever delete my facebook because it is the only way I keep up with 500 people - I don't have their cell phones or e-mail address for the most part - so for those who have deleted their profiles I no longer no how to reach them. Anyways, but one day I plan on not getting on for a few months because at some times I want to go to a movie or call someone, and realize I don't really have friends. Or the ones I do have are "too busy." Some are legitamately busy - I get it, I know what busy is. That's me too a lot of times. But then other people say they're too busy but they could have time if they made it. Anyways, one day I'm going to disapear and if people really want to be my friend they'll have to do something about it. I've heard the same from other people my age or in college, so I hope this is just a phase that will pass. I want someone who will actually make an effort and BE my friend. Someday.

It's COLD outside!! 32 degrees this morning! {This title has nothing to do with what I typed below.}

I just burned my tounge on coffee. :-( I hate burning my tounge.

So this week I baby-sat, finished finals and projects, and doing random things. My sleep schedule has been SOOOO off and it's frustrating. I get tired during the day and can't take short naps - I sleep through my alarms - and don't go to bed early enough. So today I'm NOT taking a nap, and even got coffee to keep me up, so that when I go to bed at a decent hour I will actually go to sleep instead of laying there for an hour. I need to get on a regular schedule instead of 4 hour long naps and random hours of sleep at night.

Today I bought a humidifier because the air in our house is so dry and my hair is getting staticky. But I felt so strange buying a humidfier. It made me feel old. Haha.

Ok, I know I'm rambling, but that's about how my head sounds these days.

No matter how good you are at something - whatever you are the best at - there is always someone 10 times better. I'm not talking about professionals or celebrities, I'm talking about people you meet or know or encounter. You think you're good at something and maybe you're even the big fish in a small pond, or a big fish in a big pond, and then someone else comes along and they're a whale! But inevitably there is someone even better than them and they've probably felt the same way. I've been feeling like a small fish lately. Or maybe a big fish with lots of whales around.

My upcoming week consists of baby-sitting, lunch and dinner with wonderful people, going to the gym for the first time in 2 years, my friend Katelyn Wood's wedding, doing things on my list of things that need to be done, and a Christmas party with the young adults at Northwest Christian Church.

I met Katelyn in 6th grade but we weren't really friends til 12th grade. We had a several classes together (chorus and english that I can remember but I think at least one more?) and she started hanging out with our group of friends outside of school too for dinners and birthday parties and stuff. She has always been smiling and encouaging. We also had a few classes together in college....at least Science that I remember. We see each other sporatically now that we are in our major classes, but she's still great. I can't believe she's getting married! And within my close group of friends from high school my friend Ashley Lynch Moncavage is now married and pregnant! And living in California. And is now a stepmom too. Another girl Kayla Freeman is engaged to Josh who she's dated since early high school and I'm so excited to see them getting married. The one thing that stuck out to me about Josh was when we all went to prom I didn't have a date but everyone else did and he pulled out the chair for me at dinner and held the door open for me and stuff and was nice to me since I didn't have a date. My beautiful high school friends are graduating college, getting married, and having kids! It's been 3 and a half years since we graduated high school yet we are all in such different places in life, and I'm guessing we have become different people too through what we've been through. But they will all hold a special place in my heart. Kayla Freeman, Ashley Lynch Moncavage, Kesley Posey, Kaley Harper, Katelyn Wood, Amanda Burd.

Teaching....I am learning as I teach

There are times when I am doing something related to teaching that I panic and think, "I don't know what I'm doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and it stresses me out. Other times it's good and I know what I'm doing.

The other day I was helping this girl who was 5 go over some sight words she was learning. Words she need to know how to say but not spell. One of the words was "is" and when I asked her what it was, she said long I instead of short I so she said, "eyes." I thought wow, that is so logical. English is so dumb. Then she came to "and" and was trying to sound it out, but try saying the a sound in "and" and nothing else. Go ahead, try. It doesn't match with any "a" sound that we are taught. And when she came to "the" she could never get it. We went over and over and over it. I just thought, "oh my gosh, Lord please don't let me get a teaching job for Kindergarten or 1st grade." Reading is the hardest subject to teach because it has no rules that apply.

And then I was helping a boy with adding and subtracting fractions of different denomenators. It was fine until we came up with an improper fraction which he divded and came up with 1.1 but what is that in fraction form? And I didn't know how to turn it into a fraction, even though I took a WHOLE class on fractions. Oh my gosh. I wanted to just pull out a calculator and tell him the answer. Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Apparently I'm not! Hahaha. But the rest of it went well.

Another boy I helped with reading, he could read great, knew vocabulary, etc. but didn't have a whole lot of comprehension. I realized I didn't know how to teach comprehension, so I had to go study up on it and come back with what I hoped would help. I think it did? But was with him a short time so it was hard to see the long term affects. Each kid though can have different areas they struggle in and on different levels, so as a teacher it is your job to move everybody forward when they're all on different levels.

On a different note - I finished the book "The Lucky One" and it was ok. I wouldn't really read it again. Now I've started on "Kiss" by Ted Dekker. It's one of those books I bought back in May or something and haven't read yet, haha. But it's good so far. It's not a romance book, it's more of a suspense/thriller book.

Movies, books, stuff going on recently

Movies I've seen recently:

Up. Oh my gosh, sad! I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but the main part that makes it sad is at the beginning after you see all these great memories of the old man and his wife growing up together, she dies. So that throughout the whole movie is sad. I wasn't that thrilled with the movie.

New Moon. Laugh if you will. But the books are awesome. I only chose to read them because one girl told me she loved them and normally hates to read. I liked New Moon a lot better than Twilight, although Bella gets on my nerves a lot because she's depressed through the WHOLE movie. She's not even happy at the beginning or the end when she's with Edward.

The Blind Side. Great movie! I highly reccomend it.

Old Dogs. It was pretty good. I hadn't really wanted to see it but my parents were going so I went as well. It was funny. It's the movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams.







Books I'm reading or have read recently:

The Lucky One, by Nicholas Sparks. I am half way through right now. I hadn't heard of it until I bought it, but it's good. However, in The Notebook and A Walk To Remember it was sad at the end because of the people dying. So I hope in this one someone doesn't die. I like happy endings, even if they are a bit predictable.

Poverty and Promise, by Cindi Brown. I'm reading it right now. A woman who is actually friends of some of my friends, wrote a book about her 9 months volunteering in Kenya. It's a neat book.

Simplify Your Life, by Marcia Ramsland. I'm kind of reading it....off and on.... it's supposed to have ways to keep things clean and organized without taking so much time, how to reach your goals with it, etc. It's kind of dry only because of the topic so I just pick it up at random times to read it.

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Anyways, I have final tests and projects this week in my classes and then I'll have 5 weeks off instead of 4 because none of my teachers had finals during the normal time! Whoo! I have a whole list of things to do that I never get to do during the semester or that need to get done and I'm excited about it. I also have a bunch of people I want to get together with, some I only see at Christmas and summer, and some I haven't seen in years.

Today in one of my classes we had to do group presentations. 2 hours of listening to people talk off of powerpoints, blech. But anyways, one girl was really stuck out to me because she kept saying "um" after every single sentence, and it didn't even flow. For some reason, after hearing her keep saying um I then heard like everybody else do that. And I thought, did I do that? Did I say um? Or do I say "like" too much? Or is there something else I say all the time and have no idea? But not in normal speaking, I mean during presenting. Hmm. I'll have to ask someone next time to pay attention for me.

Tomorrow night is my chorus concert. I finally got to take chorus this semester - I didn't have room all the other semester since I was pushing to graduate in 4 years and then it didn't happy so now I have space. I haven't sung since high school in anything formally and I've missed it. There are 83 people in my chorus and Mrs. Blackwell is an awesome director. However, there are ups and downs to chorus' everywhere, no matter how great they are. There are always 1, 2, 3, or 4 people who are SO stinking loud you'd think they were trying to let the people on the other side of campus hear them. Do they not know how loud they are? Or if they do, do they know how frustrating it is to everyone around them? A chorus is supposed to blend. And then there's the few people who can't really sing but think they can, and they're hitting the wrong notes left and right. I really do feel bad for these people. So sometimes I'd rather just sing solos because I'm a perfectionist in music.

Ok, enough rambling for today. I'm so ready for a BREAK and I'm excited about the upcoming stuff in Decemeber!!

Hello....

When I was 14 I got a xanga. It was a blog, but everybody had it. It was the quivalent to facebook. It still "there" but I dont' write on it anymore. However, it's funny to see what went on 7 years ago, to look back and go, "Oh, that's what it was like to be 14." So here I am at 21, and maybe when I'm 30 I'll look back and see what was going on now and say, "Oh, that's what it was like to be 21."

So lets see.

I'm in my 4th year in college. I wanted to graduate in 4 years, but it won't be until 5 years. :-( Everyone says, "It's ok, everybody graudates in 5 years now" but I didn't want that to be me. I didn't take 5 classes every semester which I was supposed to, sometimes the classes I needed were full, and I had to take a history class 3 times before I passed. But people say I'm in good shape because teaching jobs are hard to find and maybe by then they'll be easier to find. I've wanted to be a teacher since I was 9 so I'm ready to BE one! Overall though college has been.... different than I expected. I haven't enjoyed it. I've liked some of the social aspects of it, duh, but that's about it. Sometimes after a semester I never see those people again, so I try not to make too many friends in my classes sometimes. I'm not very good at goodbyes and find it pointless to invest so much into people that I will only see for about 4 months of my life, maybe two semesters if I'm lucky. My 500 friends on facebook really boil down to like 10 friends in real life. Besides that I find half the stuff I've learned in college to be useless, or even if it IS important I don't remember it 6 months later. But I hope I'm a good teacher, I've learned a lot of stuff pretaning that.

I just finished working 14 months at a Christian Bookstore. Oh retail. There are truely crazy people in the world. That's all I will say about that.

I am now baby-sitting 2 days a week this semester and 3 next semester for a family of 4 kids. I'm glad I have this job.

I am renting a house 10 minutes from school. I've been here since last August and love love love it. I'll be moving back home next August though because when I student teach and all that I won't be able to have a job. And I'm already living off of loans. Yipee. But not worrying about all that now, just enjoying the opportunity to decorate my house, eat random food, stay up late, and enjoy the constant silence or music that I choose. My roomate is a 2nd grade teacher, this is her 3rd year, so our schedules are pretty opposite.

I can't go without saying that God is number one in my life. I went to Kenya twice (2007 and 2009) for a week the first time and 2 the second time for mission trips, and they were the best thing ever. It was so great to give of my time, money, and resources. I teach 9th and 10th grade girls small group at my church on Sun nights and taught middle school girls small group the past two years.

So that about sums up where I am in life right now as far as what I'm doing in general.







Me and some kids at vacation bible school in Kenya, July 2009.




Me, November 29, 2009. It's my profile picture too, but that one is pretty small.