Tuesday, October 30, 2012

His Word

The first time I read the whole bible I started when I was in 8th grade and finished in 10th grade, so 13-15 years old. The second time I read it was when I was 17 and I read it in a year. The third time I read it when I was 19 and I read it in 6 months to get a better overview / timeline and how everything connected. All three were hard to do. But good too.

It's been a while since I've had a constant "quiet time" or daily time with God. I don't know why. But sometimes in the middle of you teaching and "preaching" to somebody else, you're convicted yourself. Yesterday, Sunday, we talked to our 9th and 10th grade girls about relationships and how to be careful in relationships even in high school that could affect your marriage. We also brought up the verse that said while you're single all of your attention is on the Lord and when you're married it is divided. I encouraged them to pursue the Lord SO much during this time in their life, even while they are young and may be far from marriage. And I thought, "Well, what about me?" While am definitely pursuing the Lord and praying and growing, my time alone with God is lacking right now.

Soooo I've decided to read the bible all the way through again. I will be blogging about it as I go. I'll probably read a devtional book along the way too. I don't know how long I will take to read it, we'll see how it goes.

While all the beautiful things and ugly things of the world both distract and trip us up, they should not control us. I am in need of God's peace and joy. I am in need of direction in a job / career. I'm in need of self-control in many areas, one being my attitude at work and not joining in on the complaining about customers and pretty much everything else. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. If I am lacking those, then it goes to show I need more time with God.

If anyone who happens to read this wants to read along or join in and add comments please do!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Love, Jennifer

Dear future husband,
Tonight I pray that wherever you are out there that God will bless you with joy, peace, strength, boldness, and a good perspective through whatever you're going through. I pray that you are taken out of any relationship you may be in or are able to step away from unhealthy friendships. I pray that every single girl suddenly becomes clear that they're "not it," and that you don't waste  your time with them. I pray that you are wise with your money, in paying off debt, in saving, in giving, in tithing. I pray that your selflessness grows, your relationship with the Lord grows, and that you have mentors to keep you accountable and give you advice. I pray that God gives you an awareness of what you need to work on and how to work on it, and that any sins that seem to big for you to handle that He would ease the burdon and show you a way out. I pray that your life would so reflect Him that others would be blinded by it, that He is in every single thing that you do, and that others know you are a Christian even without you saying it. I pray that He speaks loudly into your life and that you know what you're supposed to do in life. And lastly I pray that God brings us together soon.
Love,
Jennifer

Monday, October 8, 2012

Noise

Music. Spotify, car radio.

Computer. Internet. Facebook, youtube, blogger, twitter, iPhone, pinterest, e-mail, foursquare, games, apps.

Books. TV shows (on my laptop). Journaling/writing. Taking pictures. Editing pictures.

Getting together with friends. Lunch, dinner, coffee. Being a mentor. Weddings, bridesmaid, bridal showers, baby showers.

Leading high school girls small group Sun mornings. Youth events and trips. Learning, creating, and compiling videos. Bible study.

Work. Cleaning. Angry customers. Hurtful remarks and conversations from coworkers. Job hunting.

Errands. Dentist and doctor appointments.

Sleep.



I have no right to be frustrated with not hearing God in my life when it is full of not only literal noise, but also a busy noise. My life is full of good things, entertainment, great people, and frustrating stuff as well. Even if God isn't directly "speaking," I'm not feeling peace about some things in my life. And I need that back. If God is ready to show me what my next job should be, I want to hear it. If He's not, then I want to feel His peace about it. I want a husband, and if God's ready to bring Him I'm ready, and if He's not then I need to know what to work on or peace about waiting. There are people that I need to let go of that I am not letting go of and need God's joy to be what sustains me through that. I am jealous over people's attention to others instead of me, and jealous over others' great things they're recieving in life that I want. I worry.

I need time without so much noise. Not a day or two, but a longer, extended amount of time. More reading the bible, praying, and listening.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

God's hand in our lives

A few days ago, while doing dishes at work, I was praying. Going back and forth between complaining, thanking him, praying for others, and asking for requests. I asked God a question....and paused to check facebook. During short times of the day I only check those on my "close friends" list on facebook. Lo and behold, someone on my list had just posted a bible verse that had a key word in my question, and although it didn't "answer" my question to God, it was a way of being reminded that God is absolutely there.

I saw a car pull up in the parking lot at work and was waiting for them to come in and order. I stared at the clock. I took a moment to shoot up a prayer about someone. I looked out the window...and saw their car go by, who I had just prayed for. Not a car that looked like theirs, their car. (It has things on it that makes it stand out from others.) In the few seconds it took for them to drive past, I happened to pray for them and look out the window at the exact same time. And when this happened more than three times within a month I thought, "Woah...God...what's up?" I don't know yet.

About a month ago I was on Barrett Parkway, 30 minutes away from my house, and stopped in Starbucks to get coffee. As I drove home, I was praying about a friend who went through a tragedy back in February and she totally disconnected from the world. She deleted facebook and when I'd run into her mom and asked if it'd be ok to call her, she had always said no, she needed more time. I wanted to reach out... but didn't know when. Halfway home as I was coming up on the Starbucks on 41 by Mars Hill Road, I thought, "I want more coffee. No, that's silly, I just finished this one. But I have to get more." It was this urgent need to get it that I didn't understand. When I walked in, there she was. Sitting and reading a book. She jumped up to hug me, and told me a funny story. A few months back when her mom had come into my Starbucks, I'd written, "I love you ____!" and her name. I forgot to put my name, and gave it to her mom to give to her. I assume she'd say it was from me. Her mom forgot. She put it on a stack of things. A few weeks later when she was having a terrible day, she knocked over this stack of stuff, and that paper fell out. She said she thought it was from God. :-) Her mom told her it was from me, but she knew that she saw it at the right time.

I called Chris Boggess, this guy at church, in the middle of July because I decided I wanted to learn and help out with videos he made. I worried he wouldn't want or need my help, or wouldn't want to teach me because I don't know much about video production. I called on a Monday and left a message at church. Tuesday passed. I called again Wednesday and left another message. Thursday I thought, "Well he must just be thinking of a nice way to tell me no." But I decided to send him a facebook message anyways. I saw someone that day who works with him and said, "Hey, have you talked to Chris Boggess any? Has he said he got my calls about working with him and videos?" They laughed. "No, he hasn't gotten your calls...but we had a meeting today and he said he was looking for help since he will also have a new role in being the middle school youth pastor. Your name came up! So this is funny that you are asking about it!" "No, he probably just got my messages," I said. But Sunday Chris said, "Oh, I didn't get your messages... the light on my phone is broken so I never know when I have voice mail. We had the meeting on Thursday morning where your name was brought up and then I got your facebook message Thursday afternoon."

A few weeks ago I was in Washington at my Aunt and Uncle's house. That afternoon my cousins and I had been out at a coffee shop with some of their friends, and I was just so tired and wanted to go home and sleep instead of going to an event that night with them. I felt bad about it, but I was just beat. I went back to their house and fell asleep. My aunt woke me and said, "We're going to the hospital...our friend Barb has just gone to the hospital. We're not sure what's wrong yet." "Ok," I said. I went back to sleep. When I got up and ate dinner, I praying for Barb, but I wasn't sure what to pray for since I didn't quite know what was wrong besides the fact that I knew she had been sick. But at 7:30 I felt the need to pray, "God, breathe life into her." I kept on that thought track for a while, then went about my own thing. Turns out she went to the hospital because she was having a hard time breathing, and went into cardiac arrest while there, and died for 20 minutes! No oxygen to the brain, flatline. But God brought her back. She has been recovering, she is moving and speaking, and I don't know how long it will take her to heal completely, but God brought her back to life.

Do we sometimes miss God's hand in our lives because we don't give him credit? Do we fail to think, "Wow, that timing had to be so precice that it had to be God,"? Do we not pray enough throughout the day, even "arrow prayers" as they're sometimes called? Do we not listen to the promptings that seem too silly to follow? Do we stay too busy? Do we give up too quick? Do we look at the little things and say they were too little to be an answer to prayer? Do we forget all of these small - or big - things when things get tough? Do we become to self-centered and fail to reach out to others because we don't think about it?

My prayer has been recently that I would live with my eyes wide open, my ears ready to listen, and my heart sensitive to His nudges. I ask Him more questions like, "Who do you want me to reach out to today, that needs a friend? Where do you want me to go on my free days? Who needs prayer today? How can I give today, even if it's not in a financial way?" I look forward to hearing His answers.

How have you seen Him in your life?