Thursday, April 14, 2016

Roller Coaster

Life is weird. It just is. It's like a roller coaster you can't get off of, even if you yell at the person running the whole thing. No, there's no stopping it.

Sometimes you're on top of the world, and your heart just couldn't hold any more love and happiness. Sometimes you think things are on the right track, things are going well, and you grasp to hold on to the beautiful times. Sometimes you laugh til you cry, you enjoy the silence on a lake in the middle of nowhere, you hug someone important to you and don't want to let go, and you look forward to something coming up in life.

And inevitably, there's the part of the roller coaster that makes your stomach drop. Jealousy rears it's ugly head, fear and anger show no mercy, and hopelessness creeps in. Sometimes you feel stupid for having hope in something that maybe God didn't want for you. Sometimes you just hurt, and you can't make it stop. Sometimes all you want to do is sleep, and forget everything else.

And sometimes, in between those highs and lows, are the days where nothing happen. It's ordinary. "How was work?" "Fine." "How was bible study?" "Fine." "How was your week?" "Fine." Isn't fine better than bad though? Or is fine just a cover-up for bad? Is fine the answer you give when you don't really want to talk about what is bothering you? Sometimes fine means you don't dare to hope for something better, because your high expectations will lead to devastating lows when it doesn't happen.