I like airports and flying. For me, my flights have always taken me somewhere great, and I only fly every few years, so that probably has something to do with it. I flew out to Tacoma, WA with my mom last week, and we stayed for a week. The weather was perfect and didn't rain the whole time! I was involved with all the events leading up to my cousin's wedding - the bachelorette party, setting up the reception hall, the rehearsal and dinner, hair and makeup for the day of the wedding, pictures of the bride, groom, and bridal party at a park, the wedding, and cleaning up. I had lots of coffee during the week. I got to see my cousin's new apartment.
Sunday we went to Seattle. We took the ferry there, saw the pretty views, etc. and then walked down Pike Street. We also went to a Starbucks down the road from it because it was pretty and I wanted to go. We went to dinner with their new family by marriage, but they've been friends their whole lives. It's so cool to think they are part of my family through marriage now, and whenever I go to Washington, I will most likely see them. For the rest of my life. They are all married except my younger cousin. Andrew, my cousin Emily's now husband, has 3 other siblings, two are married, and the 3rd just got engaged while I was there! I went to her surprise birthday party and engagement party on Monday!
The last day I was there, Monday, my cousin Carly went to work, and my mom went with my aunt and uncle to a nature walk thing with wildlife for a few hours and she took pictures. I stayed home, drank coffee, looked at my pictures on the computer, was on facebook some, and read a book. It was so great because I didn't have much time to myself during the trip! I journaled for about 3 hours on the plane home, and then slept for an hour! Which is rare for me on a plane!
I got some GREAT pictures during the trip! The whole trip, although busy, was great. It was nice not to work, and to be in a different "world" for a week.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
When I'm weak, You are strong
Lord when I'm weak You are strong
And it's the best place to be, don't get me wrong
I've read the scripture about that and I agree
That I want more of You and less of me.
Your strength doesn't mean my pain is gone
Or that I can just simply move on.
You are good whether a circumstance is or not.
Thank You for taking my spot
In the punishment of my sins!
That alone is where Your goodness comes in,
And even if that was the only thing You did for me,
It would be enough to praise You constantly!
I come before You now with a prayer for peace,
For joy, and for love for others that will never cease.
I pray that You will give me the ability
To see things as You do, and realize the possibility
That what hurts now is actually
Something that is good later, not just a tragedy.
Your plan and timing is perfect - mine is not.
Your reasoning is detailed, not thought up on the spot.
Your love is powerful, not conditional.
Your spirit lives in me - I'm thankful that's admissible!
So when I stand before the giants and the foes,
The battle tripping me up and people stepping on my toes,
When I am out of ammo and out of a plan,
No where to escape and when I should have just ran...
I will kneel to the ground with my hands raised high,
Knowing You will fight for me with strength beyond what I can try.
So here I am Lord - fight for me.
I'm a bit blinded and I can't see.
Maybe I'm being slowed by quicksand
Or weighted down by chains so I can't stand.
Break my chains, pull me out,
Give me confidence free of doubt.
You created the world with Your breath,
You created my life, and You will take me in death.
How could I worry or let life get me down?
Your Word is full of how You hold the crown,
The King, the Lord, the majestic One who conquers all!
To let anything in life make me fall,
And then just lay there and not stand once more,
Is to say that You're not able to win this war!
Lord be my strength when I am weak.
Guard my mouth when I speak.
And it's the best place to be, don't get me wrong
I've read the scripture about that and I agree
That I want more of You and less of me.
Your strength doesn't mean my pain is gone
Or that I can just simply move on.
You are good whether a circumstance is or not.
Thank You for taking my spot
In the punishment of my sins!
That alone is where Your goodness comes in,
And even if that was the only thing You did for me,
It would be enough to praise You constantly!
I come before You now with a prayer for peace,
For joy, and for love for others that will never cease.
I pray that You will give me the ability
To see things as You do, and realize the possibility
That what hurts now is actually
Something that is good later, not just a tragedy.
Your plan and timing is perfect - mine is not.
Your reasoning is detailed, not thought up on the spot.
Your love is powerful, not conditional.
Your spirit lives in me - I'm thankful that's admissible!
So when I stand before the giants and the foes,
The battle tripping me up and people stepping on my toes,
When I am out of ammo and out of a plan,
No where to escape and when I should have just ran...
I will kneel to the ground with my hands raised high,
Knowing You will fight for me with strength beyond what I can try.
So here I am Lord - fight for me.
I'm a bit blinded and I can't see.
Maybe I'm being slowed by quicksand
Or weighted down by chains so I can't stand.
Break my chains, pull me out,
Give me confidence free of doubt.
You created the world with Your breath,
You created my life, and You will take me in death.
How could I worry or let life get me down?
Your Word is full of how You hold the crown,
The King, the Lord, the majestic One who conquers all!
To let anything in life make me fall,
And then just lay there and not stand once more,
Is to say that You're not able to win this war!
Lord be my strength when I am weak.
Guard my mouth when I speak.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Love
Will the people around me know that I am a Christian even when they don't see my facebook, instagram, twitter, or blog? And how will my life reflect Jesus, not just my social media?
Jesus said, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35) Wow. That's heavy... my love for people will prove to the world that I follow Jesus. So does it? I hope and pray so. That includes my coworkers. That includes people who hurt me deeply, over and over. How will my love look different than someone who isn't a Christian but is a loving person as well? I know that love has to be selfless. It has to be thinking of others, helping others, doing things for others that they don't want to do or that is hard. It's communicating well instead of being passive aggressive, or getting revenge (even in small ways). It's listening to someone's problems or worries, even when I'm busy.
Let me tell you how people have not received my love well and have straight up told me.... they take it as being nosy, intrusive, giving someone too much attention, creepy, awkward, too persistent. Yes, sometimes romantic love, but also just love as a friend. And in those moments I panic - maybe I should stop loving with all of my heart, or at all. Maybe I should just keep to myself, love less, and only love if the person seems receptive. I suddenly have to check with other people to see if those things people have said is true, or figure out how I am supposed to fix it. How do you love people who don't want to be loved, or who have walls up, or just flat out don't like me? Sometimes, the only thing to do, is move on. But sometimes, it just means to back off and give them space. I don't always know the right thing to do, and it's different for different people. Sometimes people say that because they've never had someone love them with the kind of love that is demonstrated in Jesus' life, they are only used to people loving them artificially or temporarily or selfishly, so when I don't do that they are defensive and confused. But if "loving too much" is one of my flaws, then I'm ok with that. Because the bible says a million times to love. God is love, and God is in me. One thing I know that God won't say to me when I get to heaven is, "Jennifer, you should have loved a little less."
There's a song that says, "Break my heart for what breaks yours..." and when I think about how much God loves, I think about how much his heart must break. When I was in Kenya, my heart was bursting for love with the people there and the kids and the orphans... and at the same time it was broken because I wanted them to have better lives, better living conditions, and adults to take care of them and love them instead of living on the streets or being raised by a teenage sibling. And my heart broke because I wanted them to know that Jesus was the way to heaven, and that there was a God who loves them no matter what circumstances they go through.
Giving is part of loving, and I have grown to love giving. I don't have much money, but I love that I can give money every month to a little girl in Kenya that gives her food and clothes and more. I want to sponsor more kids some day. I also give money to my friend Joy who is in Bosnia, starting her second year, and I love knowing that her presence there is spreading the word of God in a place that needs Him. I love giving my friends random gifts. I love giving of my time to people who need help, or watching babies while the parents can be in bible study.
I hope that my life, my love, my giving, and my words reflect Jesus more than just the average person. I hope that my life brings Him glory. I hope that somehow, my life makes people realize that God exists and that they want to have the hope, joy, and peace that I have because of Him. I hope that my life brings people to heaven, even if I never meet someone while I'm on earth that tells me that. I hope that my life is well spent, so that I will hear God say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Jesus said, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35) Wow. That's heavy... my love for people will prove to the world that I follow Jesus. So does it? I hope and pray so. That includes my coworkers. That includes people who hurt me deeply, over and over. How will my love look different than someone who isn't a Christian but is a loving person as well? I know that love has to be selfless. It has to be thinking of others, helping others, doing things for others that they don't want to do or that is hard. It's communicating well instead of being passive aggressive, or getting revenge (even in small ways). It's listening to someone's problems or worries, even when I'm busy.
Let me tell you how people have not received my love well and have straight up told me.... they take it as being nosy, intrusive, giving someone too much attention, creepy, awkward, too persistent. Yes, sometimes romantic love, but also just love as a friend. And in those moments I panic - maybe I should stop loving with all of my heart, or at all. Maybe I should just keep to myself, love less, and only love if the person seems receptive. I suddenly have to check with other people to see if those things people have said is true, or figure out how I am supposed to fix it. How do you love people who don't want to be loved, or who have walls up, or just flat out don't like me? Sometimes, the only thing to do, is move on. But sometimes, it just means to back off and give them space. I don't always know the right thing to do, and it's different for different people. Sometimes people say that because they've never had someone love them with the kind of love that is demonstrated in Jesus' life, they are only used to people loving them artificially or temporarily or selfishly, so when I don't do that they are defensive and confused. But if "loving too much" is one of my flaws, then I'm ok with that. Because the bible says a million times to love. God is love, and God is in me. One thing I know that God won't say to me when I get to heaven is, "Jennifer, you should have loved a little less."
There's a song that says, "Break my heart for what breaks yours..." and when I think about how much God loves, I think about how much his heart must break. When I was in Kenya, my heart was bursting for love with the people there and the kids and the orphans... and at the same time it was broken because I wanted them to have better lives, better living conditions, and adults to take care of them and love them instead of living on the streets or being raised by a teenage sibling. And my heart broke because I wanted them to know that Jesus was the way to heaven, and that there was a God who loves them no matter what circumstances they go through.
Giving is part of loving, and I have grown to love giving. I don't have much money, but I love that I can give money every month to a little girl in Kenya that gives her food and clothes and more. I want to sponsor more kids some day. I also give money to my friend Joy who is in Bosnia, starting her second year, and I love knowing that her presence there is spreading the word of God in a place that needs Him. I love giving my friends random gifts. I love giving of my time to people who need help, or watching babies while the parents can be in bible study.
I hope that my life, my love, my giving, and my words reflect Jesus more than just the average person. I hope that my life brings Him glory. I hope that somehow, my life makes people realize that God exists and that they want to have the hope, joy, and peace that I have because of Him. I hope that my life brings people to heaven, even if I never meet someone while I'm on earth that tells me that. I hope that my life is well spent, so that I will hear God say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Monday, September 1, 2014
Run.
Today in church, the sermon was on Jonah. Our pastor, Brad, started off asking, "Kids, have you ever run away from home? Or adults, did you run away from home as a kid? It didn't matter where you were going, but it mattered what you were running from." I knew where this was going... but it was good to hear. Brad said something key - sometimes you think you're running from something in life, but you're actually running from God because you think God didn't show up or do His job when something in your life isn't going right. And let me tell you, last night I almost decided to go to another church as a result of me running away, and I would have missed that sermon. I haven't actually "run" yet, but for the past few months I've been "packing my bags" so to speak. I've been ready to run, and each week there's something that I didn't want to miss or something I needed to be there for. There isn't something God told me to do that I'm not doing, but I do know that God is telling me not to run.
Also, the whole thing about the storms is what I was blogging about some last night! Brad said how those storms aren't God's punishment or payback for what we did wrong, but since God is all love, then part of Him is mercy and sparing us from what we deserve, and part of Him is discipline, so that we will come back to Him and/or stop sinning. I feel His discipline in my life.
On a similar subject, let's talk about anger for a second. For me, I am often quick to become irritated / mad, and quick to let it pass. A customer will do something annoying and I'll be mad for a few minutes, and then I'll move on. A coworker will do something mean / annoying, and same thing. But overall, with my friends, I just don't get mad that often. Yes, there are days when I'm more prone to be angry than others, but I don't ever want to be a person who someone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around me because they never know what's going to make me mad. Currently however, I am in a situation where I have not felt this much anger in years. And I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stop it. I can fake look happy all day long, and I can still feel joy from the Lord, but currently mixed in with that is an underlying anger that affects me. Maybe the thing is, I can't do anything about it. Only God can. Only by literally sitting in silence in the presence of God will He give me peace again and take my anger away.
Also, the whole thing about the storms is what I was blogging about some last night! Brad said how those storms aren't God's punishment or payback for what we did wrong, but since God is all love, then part of Him is mercy and sparing us from what we deserve, and part of Him is discipline, so that we will come back to Him and/or stop sinning. I feel His discipline in my life.
On a similar subject, let's talk about anger for a second. For me, I am often quick to become irritated / mad, and quick to let it pass. A customer will do something annoying and I'll be mad for a few minutes, and then I'll move on. A coworker will do something mean / annoying, and same thing. But overall, with my friends, I just don't get mad that often. Yes, there are days when I'm more prone to be angry than others, but I don't ever want to be a person who someone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around me because they never know what's going to make me mad. Currently however, I am in a situation where I have not felt this much anger in years. And I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stop it. I can fake look happy all day long, and I can still feel joy from the Lord, but currently mixed in with that is an underlying anger that affects me. Maybe the thing is, I can't do anything about it. Only God can. Only by literally sitting in silence in the presence of God will He give me peace again and take my anger away.
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