Imbalance

It's been the longest six weeks I've had in a long time! Not because they are bad, but because I am in this weird limbo, and time sits still. 

Sometimes I feel extra motivated, and I do my whole week's to do list in about three hours. Other times it takes me a week to do three things on my to do list. Sometimes I don't see people for three days in a row, and I feel stressed and crave being around friends, and then some weeks I see friends every single day and then I need more alone time. I can't get the right balance down right now. 

Some days I job search for four hours and apply to five jobs. Some days I don't job search at all, or I job search for two hours and can't find anything at all so I stop. I wonder at times if I'm going to be job searching for the next five years, and other times I'm like well I must have an awesome job up ahead for satan to be working so hard for me not to get it. 

Some days I spend two hours praying, reading the bible, and spending time with the Lord. Other days I'm pushing to do it for 15 minutes. (And of course all of the in-between amounts of times too.) 

Waiting. 

Things I like about my current season of life

Things I like about my current season of life (working 10 hours a week, broke, job searching, single):

-Extra time with friends
-I love my church job
-Staying up late, waking up late. I function best late at night.
-Not having anxiety attacks / panic attacks that I was having at Starbucks
-Being able to be flexible and do spur of the moment things
-Extra time with God and praying more
-Extra time to read
-Extra time to play games
-Did I say extra time?
-Not having to cook much since I'm just eating for me
-Going on mission trips and youth trips is easier than if I had kids
-I don't have to homeschool or put my kid in public school
-It's quiet. My room is quiet, my house is quiet, it's good.
-I can sit in my room for hours and do things on my time, alone, and peacefully
-I love taking pictures even when I don't get paid for it
-I don't feel bad for napping, but really I get enough sleep each night now and don't need to nap much
-When I'm sick I don't have to be around other people or call out from work
-When I have bad cramps once a month I don't have to be standing and running around the place like at Starbucks, I can do everything in my room sitting or laying down
-I can eat whenever the heck I want instead of asking for a break at work when I'm starving! And I can eat healthier really because I have more options of food at home instead of only being able to bring certain food to work

All that being said, I'm still ready for a full time job that I love, still want to move out, and still want a husband. All of the above does not diminish my desire for those things, I just want to enjoy where I'm currently at because this is where God has me. I hope that I can always see the good in where God has me.