For the past 4 weeks I've been meeting with my friend Katie on Tuesday mornings at her house. We pick something from the bible at the end of our time each week, so we can read it, write about it, and discuss it when we come back. And we talk about things God is doing in our lives and what to pray for each other about. It's been so great!! I'm so thankful for this time with her.
As we read each week, I sometimes read parts of my commentary in my study bible. One thing it said a few weeks ago was, "Sometimes satan's strongest attacks come after a victory." It makes sense! Or of course during a victory and when you're doing the right thing!
I also bought a book on Sunday called, "Draw the Circle: The 40 day prayer challenge," by Mark Batterson.
"The goal of the forty-day prayer challenge isn't to get what you want by day 40. In fact, the goal isn't to get what you want at all. The goal is to figure out what God wants, what God wills. Then you start circling it in prayer and don't stop until God answers."
Last night it was a time when I thought about how many things are really important right now, and how I needed to spend a lot of time in prayer and writing about it and reading the bible. I don't know how long I did that, but longer than I have in a long time. I thought, "These things are so important that I need God's hand to be in this! Big time! I need His power to come through in some situations for myself and for others, and his guidance in others."
Tonight I was thinking about "wanting." It's like a feeling that you can't control, and you can't just stop wanting something just because. I often pray that God would change my wants and desires to what He wants for me and what He will provide. There are many jobs I wanted in the past and did not get - some I am so thankful WAY later that He didn't let that happen, other times I still don't know why. I still want a husband some day and don't know why He hasn't let that happen yet. I have wanted to lead or serve in certain ways that God said no to, and still says no to, and sometimes I understand why but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want something that I clearly know is not right or is not for me, and am frustrated at the feelings anyways. Sometimes I pray, "God, make me stop wanting that!!!"
