That moment when you're teetering on the edge of two decisions, when you're walking on the fence and it's time to jump to one side or the other... or fall to one side or the other because here comes the wind and it's blowing...
And you're like, "Why did I even get up on this fence in the first place?"
Either one is going to be a smack in the face - neither side that I fall on will be a pretty fall. It will be the kind that smashes hearts and dropkicks feelings and enlarges insecurities. Because this fence isn't a short one, close to the ground like a fence between two yards in a neighborhood, it's a fence that rises high. I keep looking for a way down gracefully, with my heart in tact, but it's not a chain linked fence, there is no other way down.
Part of me thinks, "The sooner the better. Bring it."
It's a time when I'm not sure what to pray for, I am at a loss for words. Sure, I can whine and complain about unfair things are or how emotional I am, but God's heard it. I can't pray with certainty on which way I should fall, because I don't even know. I guess I am praying that God would let circumstances push me to one side or the other, that He would lead me in a way that I cannot chose on my own.
Yes, this is all cryptic and vague - but I have to write about it. I have to get it out, I have to process it. And in some ways, I'm sure if someone reads this they can relate to a similar situation in their head and think, "Yes! That's how I feel about ______."
Maybe in a year I will read this back and think, "Whew, glad that's over."
Friday, November 29, 2013
What if
It's a risk to love.
What if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does.
-Peter McWilliams
What if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does.
-Peter McWilliams
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Tick tock - where is your life going?
Steward - to manage or look after.
We are stewards of God's money, time, and more. When we get to heaven, if God asks what we did with the money He gave us, the time He gave us, the talent He gave us... what would we say? Everything we have is His, like we are borrowing it.
I can NOT imagine getting to heaven and being like, "Well... I bought a lot of cool stuff, I lived comfortably, and I gave sometimes. I went for a few weeks out of the country to serve, and helped out in the church sometimes. I used my talent to make some money, and used it for my own entertainment." Oh HECK no. Or even worse... "I spent my money on clothes to make me pretty, food to fill me up, games to make me happy, and vacations to escape the dreadful work I had. I served sometimes, but I can't think of anything specific. Does it count that I sat in a rocking chair and held some babies so other people could go to church? I sang on youtube, I took some pictures for facebook, and I wrote in my journal. Thanks for the talents, but I didn't know how to use them to glorify you, so I just sang some karaoke here and there along with taking some pretty pictures of nature."
Not that good works get you in to heaven. But I believe that life is meant to glorify God and tell others about Him, so why waste it by being selfish and mediocre? The point isn't to stay super busy in life, doing 500 things at once, or go around hitting people over the head with the bible. But if you use your time, talent, and money to glorify God, others will notice. Also, if you don't do well with little, why would He give you more? Again, the motive is not that if you do well you'll get more stuff. But when your heart is in the right place, you have the longing to want more so that you can give more. I seriously wish that I had more money sometimes so I could give it to people who are in need, to support more kids in another country who are orphans or hungry, etc.
We are stewards of God's money, time, and more. When we get to heaven, if God asks what we did with the money He gave us, the time He gave us, the talent He gave us... what would we say? Everything we have is His, like we are borrowing it.
I can NOT imagine getting to heaven and being like, "Well... I bought a lot of cool stuff, I lived comfortably, and I gave sometimes. I went for a few weeks out of the country to serve, and helped out in the church sometimes. I used my talent to make some money, and used it for my own entertainment." Oh HECK no. Or even worse... "I spent my money on clothes to make me pretty, food to fill me up, games to make me happy, and vacations to escape the dreadful work I had. I served sometimes, but I can't think of anything specific. Does it count that I sat in a rocking chair and held some babies so other people could go to church? I sang on youtube, I took some pictures for facebook, and I wrote in my journal. Thanks for the talents, but I didn't know how to use them to glorify you, so I just sang some karaoke here and there along with taking some pretty pictures of nature."
Not that good works get you in to heaven. But I believe that life is meant to glorify God and tell others about Him, so why waste it by being selfish and mediocre? The point isn't to stay super busy in life, doing 500 things at once, or go around hitting people over the head with the bible. But if you use your time, talent, and money to glorify God, others will notice. Also, if you don't do well with little, why would He give you more? Again, the motive is not that if you do well you'll get more stuff. But when your heart is in the right place, you have the longing to want more so that you can give more. I seriously wish that I had more money sometimes so I could give it to people who are in need, to support more kids in another country who are orphans or hungry, etc.
Monday, November 18, 2013
It's 3:30 AM and I am writing because my brain just won't shut down
Why am I writing again? It's 3:09 AM. I'm hungry, but I shouldn't eat because it's not good to eat right before you go to bed. I'm listening to spotify, the same handful of songs on repeat - man, spotify is amazing. I just found out the chick-fil-a peppermint chocolate chip milkshakes come out tomorrow and I'm PUMPED because those are amazing. I am most definitely getting one tomorrow night after work on my way home. I saw a preview for the movie, "Divergent" on facebook that someone else clicked like on, which comes out in March, and it looked good! I've heard good things about the books so I've decided to try the first one out. Yes, it looks similar to a Hunger Games type of book / movie, but oh well. I liked Hunger Games, so maybe this one will be good too. Stumbleupon - it's like google on crack. Don't do it. It's kind of like pinterest, but a collection of every single thing on the internet and you just go and go and go. Remember when the internet was so basic that if you just wanted to go to golf.com or barbie.com there were no other options than that? And it would take 10 minutes to load, and the games on the kids websites were so slow and basic, but fascinating. I'm going to see Catching Fire this week or next. Not sure when, and not quite sure who with yet. But I'm going. I've had a cough for a week now and I'm ready for it to be gone. Work has been insanely busy lately, and while some people thrive on that and love that it makes time go by faster, I do not enjoy it. It doesn't make time go by faster for me. I'd rather work the register though than make drinks. I've worked at Starbucks for 2 years now, and this will be my 3rd Christmas there. It's weird. My longest job ever. I've seen a lot of people come and go. I need to eat healthier, but as I walked around Wal-Mart today, looking at all the food, nothing healthy looked good. Ugh. It sounds so daunting to find healthy food that tastes good and that I can take to work that can't be heated up because we have no microwave. I want to lose weight, but I don't have enough money to the gym (and I hate going to the gym, so that wouldn't work anyways), but eating better would help I think even if I didn't work out. I hope it snows this year. Snow is beautiful. Ice is terrible. Being trapped in your house for a day or 2 is cool, but not after that. And I doubt Starbucks would close down because of ice, and then I'd feel bad for being stuck in my house while people closer had to work. I want to go somewhere cool and take cool pictures. Somewhere new or different or unique. I need to think of where that could be. (With my real camera, not my cell phone.) I've "seen" a lot of friends recently and hung out with them in groups or had bible study, but haven't had real conversations with most of them or caught up on what's really going on. It's weird to see people so often but then actually feel like you haven't seen them because you didn't talk to them. A lot of times my face screams my emotions, and I wish it didn't. Even if it's not a big emotion, people can tell it pretty quickly about me. Booo. And then I know people who you can never tell what emotion is going on with them, and you're like, "Hello? Are you a zombie?"
I hate when you say, "I saw on your facebook..." and then someone is like, "Oh, that's creepy" - no the heck it is not! You post it on your facebook for your friends or the public to see, then you cannot say it's creepy when someone looks at it - that's the point of it being there in the first place!!! Even if it's old pictures or old stuff - like hello, I love pictures, I like seeing what people looked like when they're younger or where they've traveled or what their family looks like, so of course I am going to look back through old pictures when you have 300 or so pictures up! It's like inviting someone to your living room with your your photo albums on the table - well, I'm going to pick them up and look at them. Same thing. You should assume that anything you post on facebook, anybody in your future could see it.
It's 3:29. No, it didn't take me 20 minutes to type that all, I thought some inbetween. I remember in elementary and middle school when we'd have 10 minutes of writing or something, on a topic on the board or whatever so we would be better writers with practice, and people would moan and complain, sitting with one sentence on their paper and their face in their hands, and I would be writing the whole time, trying to keep writing even after the teacher would say put your journals away. You give me a topic and I go with it. I mean, generally. Except on the teacher certification test (GACE), whoo, that was hard!!
I hate when you say, "I saw on your facebook..." and then someone is like, "Oh, that's creepy" - no the heck it is not! You post it on your facebook for your friends or the public to see, then you cannot say it's creepy when someone looks at it - that's the point of it being there in the first place!!! Even if it's old pictures or old stuff - like hello, I love pictures, I like seeing what people looked like when they're younger or where they've traveled or what their family looks like, so of course I am going to look back through old pictures when you have 300 or so pictures up! It's like inviting someone to your living room with your your photo albums on the table - well, I'm going to pick them up and look at them. Same thing. You should assume that anything you post on facebook, anybody in your future could see it.
It's 3:29. No, it didn't take me 20 minutes to type that all, I thought some inbetween. I remember in elementary and middle school when we'd have 10 minutes of writing or something, on a topic on the board or whatever so we would be better writers with practice, and people would moan and complain, sitting with one sentence on their paper and their face in their hands, and I would be writing the whole time, trying to keep writing even after the teacher would say put your journals away. You give me a topic and I go with it. I mean, generally. Except on the teacher certification test (GACE), whoo, that was hard!!
Focus
"Celebrate good times, come on!"
If you pick any thing in life, I'm pretty sure you can see both the good and bad in it. Your job, the people around you, where you are in life, whether you're single or married, have kids or don't, etc.
Sometimes when there are elementary aged kids that come into Starbucks, they are super cute, well behaved, and I'm like, "I want a kid." Other times they come in and are terrors, whining, trying to take our tips, picking stuff up and putting it back in the wrong places... and I think, "Maybe I don't want kids."
Thursday, on my day off, I slept in late, and went to a bakery that my mom's friend just opened. I got an oreo cupcake! YUM! I stopped in my Starbucks and got my free iced triple grande 2 pump pumpkin spice 2 pump white mocha. I then went to a new store called, "2nd & Charles" which is a huge store that has used books, movies, games, music, and more. It was the first time I had been there and was fascinated by everything, took pictures, and thought of things I could buy people for Christmas. After driving back in some terrible traffic, I ate dinner with my parents, and then went to Steak and Shake with some friends and had a milkshake. I thought during the day, "I'm so glad that I'm not teaching right now, that I have days like this where I can do what I want and there aren't 5 million people out here with me because they're at work. And on nights and weekends I don't have to grade papers or write lesson plans." And of course there are days when I think, "Will I ever have a better job? Will I ever make more money? Am I stuck here? Will God ever open another door?"
You can't always ignore the things in life that stink, but there's no point focusing on them. I think you should change and grow from the things that are negative and not just brush them under the rug, but not let it make your daily life bitter or sad or hopeless. When your focus is on the good stuff, it's a good thing! There are times though that you should talk about what's bothering you because it's therapeutic and helpful and freeing in some cases.
If you pick any thing in life, I'm pretty sure you can see both the good and bad in it. Your job, the people around you, where you are in life, whether you're single or married, have kids or don't, etc.
Sometimes when there are elementary aged kids that come into Starbucks, they are super cute, well behaved, and I'm like, "I want a kid." Other times they come in and are terrors, whining, trying to take our tips, picking stuff up and putting it back in the wrong places... and I think, "Maybe I don't want kids."
Thursday, on my day off, I slept in late, and went to a bakery that my mom's friend just opened. I got an oreo cupcake! YUM! I stopped in my Starbucks and got my free iced triple grande 2 pump pumpkin spice 2 pump white mocha. I then went to a new store called, "2nd & Charles" which is a huge store that has used books, movies, games, music, and more. It was the first time I had been there and was fascinated by everything, took pictures, and thought of things I could buy people for Christmas. After driving back in some terrible traffic, I ate dinner with my parents, and then went to Steak and Shake with some friends and had a milkshake. I thought during the day, "I'm so glad that I'm not teaching right now, that I have days like this where I can do what I want and there aren't 5 million people out here with me because they're at work. And on nights and weekends I don't have to grade papers or write lesson plans." And of course there are days when I think, "Will I ever have a better job? Will I ever make more money? Am I stuck here? Will God ever open another door?"
You can't always ignore the things in life that stink, but there's no point focusing on them. I think you should change and grow from the things that are negative and not just brush them under the rug, but not let it make your daily life bitter or sad or hopeless. When your focus is on the good stuff, it's a good thing! There are times though that you should talk about what's bothering you because it's therapeutic and helpful and freeing in some cases.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Random ramblings
I have a problem going to bed earlier than 3:00 AM, and it's more like 3:30 or 4 AM when I go to bed.
I wish I had the "tidy" gene in me. But I don't. Therefore, my room is always a mess, and if I use the kitchen to make something, I don't usually clean it up til way later.
I'm a picky eater - there's a lot of food and drinks I don't like. I'm picky about shoes I buy, and clothes I buy.
If my brain and my emotions were having a contest, 9 out of 10 times my emotions would win. That makes me so mad. Oh, an emotion. Go figure.
Sometimes I get on this obsession with reading, and will read for months, at every moment I can get. But then I'll go a few months where I just don't read much and don't have the desire to. It's a weird thing.
I write in my journal about once a week.... and have for my entire life. It's not something where I force myself to or feel obligated, it's quite the opposite. After more than a week, or if a lot is going on, I feel stressed if I don't write! This has made for a LOT of journals since I was 7 years old!
Dude. Candy Crush. Who invented this game? And why the heck is such a silly game so addictive?
I'm 25... but I don't feel like it. But then, what is 25 supposed to feel like?
I have serious short term memory problems. At work, this is a major problem. And yes, I've tried "strengthening" it and played games and done whatever else out there that is supposed to help it and nothing has. However, I have an amazing long term memory - I can remember the most obscure details, names, and conversations for like... ever.
I wish I had the "tidy" gene in me. But I don't. Therefore, my room is always a mess, and if I use the kitchen to make something, I don't usually clean it up til way later.
I'm a picky eater - there's a lot of food and drinks I don't like. I'm picky about shoes I buy, and clothes I buy.
If my brain and my emotions were having a contest, 9 out of 10 times my emotions would win. That makes me so mad. Oh, an emotion. Go figure.
Sometimes I get on this obsession with reading, and will read for months, at every moment I can get. But then I'll go a few months where I just don't read much and don't have the desire to. It's a weird thing.
I write in my journal about once a week.... and have for my entire life. It's not something where I force myself to or feel obligated, it's quite the opposite. After more than a week, or if a lot is going on, I feel stressed if I don't write! This has made for a LOT of journals since I was 7 years old!
Dude. Candy Crush. Who invented this game? And why the heck is such a silly game so addictive?
I'm 25... but I don't feel like it. But then, what is 25 supposed to feel like?
I have serious short term memory problems. At work, this is a major problem. And yes, I've tried "strengthening" it and played games and done whatever else out there that is supposed to help it and nothing has. However, I have an amazing long term memory - I can remember the most obscure details, names, and conversations for like... ever.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Starbucks' regulars
Regulars at Starbucks... some people of which I do know their real names, and some I do not, but we call them other names to identify them, either by the drink they always get or something that describes them.
"Do you know ______'s drink?"
Why can't you just tell me what the drink is? Sometimes I don't know because they just change it up, or if I say yes and they drive on, I don't have enough time to put it in the computer/ register. So no, I don't know your drink. And sometimes I legitimately don't know because other people know it, and I never hear it being said, so I just forget. There's a few of these that come though a lot.
The creepy red truck guy
He comes in to order and then sits in his truck for hours, or sits in his truck for hours and then comes in to get coffee. Maybe he's just stealing our wifi and doesn't want to come inside and be distracted by people and doesn't want to go home because somebody there gets on his nerves. That's not really what makes him creepy. He has this intense, squinty eyed look when he looks at me, as if he's peering into my soul, and doesn't break eye contact the entire time. He sometimes says, "I haven't seen you in a while," just because I've been in the back doing dishes when he's come in or something.
Ninja turtle guy
He's about my age, bald, and intense. He usually says his drinks at the drive thru really quietly and then speeds off, without us knowing what he said until we look out the window and see who it is. He remembers people's names but is so intense and socially awkward that it makes us uncomfortable.
And a banana guy
I think he has some kind of mental disability, but no one knows what it is. He says his drink(s) at the drive thru box and often says, "and a banana" and then drives forward without us being able to ask any questions or repeat his order back. He seems pretty happy, but rarely speaks. He comes through multiple times a day sometimes. Not many people buy our bananas, but he goes through them pretty regularly.
Miss ________
She's 85ish years old (she's said before, but I forget), has curly white hair piled up on top of her head, and she is a sweet old lady. She likes all of us baristas and sometimes talks to other people in the café, so sometimes she hugs us or tells us stories about her life. She's encouraging and funny. She told us to call her "Miss" and then her first name.
Hey! I'm going to be best friends with everybody who works here.
Ok, we don't call her that, we call her by her name, but I don't know another way to describe her in those bold words. Anyways, she only started coming a few months ago, a freshman in college, and full of energy. She sometimes brings friends or her sister with her. She comes in almost every day, and sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes she just talks to us, all the baristas, or other people in the café, and if she comes through drive thru she doesn't want to use the box, she just pulls on around to the window so she can talk to us in person. It's funny though, how you can see the same people every day and not know much about them.
Good looking yoga seminary dude
LOL! Again, not what we call him because we call him by his name. And he might be reading this some day in the future, but maybe not. Anyways, he has been coming since January, sometimes just 2 or 3 days a week, and sometimes almost every day. He is a yoga instructor, is in seminary, and talks to everybody. Sometimes he does a lot of his homework at Starbucks, and that's usually the plan, but sometimes he just ends up talking to lots of people. He used to announce his coming and going with an air horn sound on his phone, then switched it to elephant and laser sounds, but as of late the sounds have ceased. He and I talk about life, God, and random questions of the day. More than any of our other regulars, this one is my favorite (yeah, I get to pick favorites as a barista, don't tell anybody), and my friend.
Ex-baristas
Oh yeah, I worked with you once, but because you treated me like crap, you're not getting free drinks now that you quit. Sucka! Other ones, sure I'll give them free drinks sometimes or discounts. Sometimes I enjoy seeing people I used to work with (that I was friends with), but others I would be ok with not seeing ever again. Oh well, such is life.
"Two unsweetened ice green teas please"
Usually it's the wife who comes through every day, but sometimes the husband comes, and sometimes both of them come. I know them outside of work, they are my friends, but my coworkers only know them from Starbucks. They have said to me, "Those two are seriously the nicest people I've ever known." I like to chose friends like that. :-)
Can I have a refill?
No. You have to pay for the first drink and then stay here and then get a refill. You do not get to bring in your cup from last week or yesterday or this morning and just get free coffee or tea. And stop trying to break the rules or say that you're entitled to it or that starbucks is too expensive or you're broke. If you stay in the café and come get a refill, cool. Otherwise, no. And don't flip out at me when I'm following the rules. Stop asking.
The "for here cup and middle marble loaf" lady
She wants to have her drink made in a mug to stay in the café, but have the mug heated up with hot water first so that when her drink goes in it it doesn't get cold fast, with silky foam on top. She wants the middle marble loaf piece because the top gets to dry or might be dry, on a plate, with a fork and a knife. Along with her specifications on her drink and food, she asks nosy questions and then apologizes for asking nosy questions, but, how do you reply to that unless you say, "I'd rather not talk about that,"? Awkward.
The hipsters
We used to have a TON of teenagers sit outside every day and night, drinking mostly a million refills of water, smoking, and leaving trash all over the place. "Hey, I know you're busy, but I need 7 waters." They once backed up their pickup truck to our store and sat on a sofa without legs on their truck. Yeeehaw! They were rude and used up all the chairs outdoors. They sometimes got into physical fights, and got on everybody's nerves. Thankfully, since this summer when Starbucks made a new rule that you have to be 25-30 feet away from the store to smoke, they have all gone away! Now normal people get the change to sit out there and we don't have to clean up after them anymore. It's fantastic.
The old man who drives fancy cars
Rollin in the dough at an old age! He drives crazy expensive cars, works at a car dealership, always buys a lot of stuff, has a British accent, and tells us about how he once sold a car to someone famous. He's always been polite and nice, although I have heard a few weird stories about him. Well, at least he's normal to the baristas, even if he isn't as normal to the other customers.
The beautiful, immature model girl
Maybe she was a nice person, I didn't get to know her personally, and I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she was 18 / a freshman in college and has a lot of growing up to do. However, she was skinny, bleach blonde hair, lots of makeup, beautiful, skimpy clothes showing as much as she could, and flirted with all the guys. She in turn got free drinks from the guys I worked with for a while and that ticked me off. She got all the attention when she was there, and she always acted like she was in control of the room in a sly kind of a way. I only had a few conversations with her personally but I could tell that we were opposites in every way possible.
Bffs come together
Ok, they probably aren't bffs, but they come together a lot, so I'm calling them that. Two girls in their twentys come pretty often, but sometimes they come by themselves too. Sometimes they do homework or sometimes they just talk. They always say they wish they had our headsets so they could know if we're talking about them or what is so funny when we're laughing about something someone said who isn't in hearing range of them. But trust me, headsets aren't that great. I enjoy talking to them sometimes about stupid boys, or other random things.
No filter old lady
She has asked me before, "Why are you still working here?" "Do you have a boyfriend yet? No? Well what are you waiting for?" Wow! Really? As if I had a choice on either of those.
"This isn't right"
No matter how exact we try to make some people's drinks, there are at least three women's drinks that come to mind that usually hand it back after taking a sip or swirling it around and looking at it. Not enough cream, too much cream, not enough foam, too much foam, etc. We expect them to hand it back, and give fist pumps if we make it and they don't pass it back.
There are more, but those are just a few.
"Do you know ______'s drink?"
Why can't you just tell me what the drink is? Sometimes I don't know because they just change it up, or if I say yes and they drive on, I don't have enough time to put it in the computer/ register. So no, I don't know your drink. And sometimes I legitimately don't know because other people know it, and I never hear it being said, so I just forget. There's a few of these that come though a lot.
The creepy red truck guy
He comes in to order and then sits in his truck for hours, or sits in his truck for hours and then comes in to get coffee. Maybe he's just stealing our wifi and doesn't want to come inside and be distracted by people and doesn't want to go home because somebody there gets on his nerves. That's not really what makes him creepy. He has this intense, squinty eyed look when he looks at me, as if he's peering into my soul, and doesn't break eye contact the entire time. He sometimes says, "I haven't seen you in a while," just because I've been in the back doing dishes when he's come in or something.
Ninja turtle guy
He's about my age, bald, and intense. He usually says his drinks at the drive thru really quietly and then speeds off, without us knowing what he said until we look out the window and see who it is. He remembers people's names but is so intense and socially awkward that it makes us uncomfortable.
And a banana guy
I think he has some kind of mental disability, but no one knows what it is. He says his drink(s) at the drive thru box and often says, "and a banana" and then drives forward without us being able to ask any questions or repeat his order back. He seems pretty happy, but rarely speaks. He comes through multiple times a day sometimes. Not many people buy our bananas, but he goes through them pretty regularly.
Miss ________
She's 85ish years old (she's said before, but I forget), has curly white hair piled up on top of her head, and she is a sweet old lady. She likes all of us baristas and sometimes talks to other people in the café, so sometimes she hugs us or tells us stories about her life. She's encouraging and funny. She told us to call her "Miss" and then her first name.
Hey! I'm going to be best friends with everybody who works here.
Ok, we don't call her that, we call her by her name, but I don't know another way to describe her in those bold words. Anyways, she only started coming a few months ago, a freshman in college, and full of energy. She sometimes brings friends or her sister with her. She comes in almost every day, and sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes she just talks to us, all the baristas, or other people in the café, and if she comes through drive thru she doesn't want to use the box, she just pulls on around to the window so she can talk to us in person. It's funny though, how you can see the same people every day and not know much about them.
Good looking yoga seminary dude
LOL! Again, not what we call him because we call him by his name. And he might be reading this some day in the future, but maybe not. Anyways, he has been coming since January, sometimes just 2 or 3 days a week, and sometimes almost every day. He is a yoga instructor, is in seminary, and talks to everybody. Sometimes he does a lot of his homework at Starbucks, and that's usually the plan, but sometimes he just ends up talking to lots of people. He used to announce his coming and going with an air horn sound on his phone, then switched it to elephant and laser sounds, but as of late the sounds have ceased. He and I talk about life, God, and random questions of the day. More than any of our other regulars, this one is my favorite (yeah, I get to pick favorites as a barista, don't tell anybody), and my friend.
Ex-baristas
Oh yeah, I worked with you once, but because you treated me like crap, you're not getting free drinks now that you quit. Sucka! Other ones, sure I'll give them free drinks sometimes or discounts. Sometimes I enjoy seeing people I used to work with (that I was friends with), but others I would be ok with not seeing ever again. Oh well, such is life.
"Two unsweetened ice green teas please"
Usually it's the wife who comes through every day, but sometimes the husband comes, and sometimes both of them come. I know them outside of work, they are my friends, but my coworkers only know them from Starbucks. They have said to me, "Those two are seriously the nicest people I've ever known." I like to chose friends like that. :-)
Can I have a refill?
No. You have to pay for the first drink and then stay here and then get a refill. You do not get to bring in your cup from last week or yesterday or this morning and just get free coffee or tea. And stop trying to break the rules or say that you're entitled to it or that starbucks is too expensive or you're broke. If you stay in the café and come get a refill, cool. Otherwise, no. And don't flip out at me when I'm following the rules. Stop asking.
The "for here cup and middle marble loaf" lady
She wants to have her drink made in a mug to stay in the café, but have the mug heated up with hot water first so that when her drink goes in it it doesn't get cold fast, with silky foam on top. She wants the middle marble loaf piece because the top gets to dry or might be dry, on a plate, with a fork and a knife. Along with her specifications on her drink and food, she asks nosy questions and then apologizes for asking nosy questions, but, how do you reply to that unless you say, "I'd rather not talk about that,"? Awkward.
The hipsters
We used to have a TON of teenagers sit outside every day and night, drinking mostly a million refills of water, smoking, and leaving trash all over the place. "Hey, I know you're busy, but I need 7 waters." They once backed up their pickup truck to our store and sat on a sofa without legs on their truck. Yeeehaw! They were rude and used up all the chairs outdoors. They sometimes got into physical fights, and got on everybody's nerves. Thankfully, since this summer when Starbucks made a new rule that you have to be 25-30 feet away from the store to smoke, they have all gone away! Now normal people get the change to sit out there and we don't have to clean up after them anymore. It's fantastic.
The old man who drives fancy cars
Rollin in the dough at an old age! He drives crazy expensive cars, works at a car dealership, always buys a lot of stuff, has a British accent, and tells us about how he once sold a car to someone famous. He's always been polite and nice, although I have heard a few weird stories about him. Well, at least he's normal to the baristas, even if he isn't as normal to the other customers.
The beautiful, immature model girl
Maybe she was a nice person, I didn't get to know her personally, and I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she was 18 / a freshman in college and has a lot of growing up to do. However, she was skinny, bleach blonde hair, lots of makeup, beautiful, skimpy clothes showing as much as she could, and flirted with all the guys. She in turn got free drinks from the guys I worked with for a while and that ticked me off. She got all the attention when she was there, and she always acted like she was in control of the room in a sly kind of a way. I only had a few conversations with her personally but I could tell that we were opposites in every way possible.
Bffs come together
Ok, they probably aren't bffs, but they come together a lot, so I'm calling them that. Two girls in their twentys come pretty often, but sometimes they come by themselves too. Sometimes they do homework or sometimes they just talk. They always say they wish they had our headsets so they could know if we're talking about them or what is so funny when we're laughing about something someone said who isn't in hearing range of them. But trust me, headsets aren't that great. I enjoy talking to them sometimes about stupid boys, or other random things.
No filter old lady
She has asked me before, "Why are you still working here?" "Do you have a boyfriend yet? No? Well what are you waiting for?" Wow! Really? As if I had a choice on either of those.
"This isn't right"
No matter how exact we try to make some people's drinks, there are at least three women's drinks that come to mind that usually hand it back after taking a sip or swirling it around and looking at it. Not enough cream, too much cream, not enough foam, too much foam, etc. We expect them to hand it back, and give fist pumps if we make it and they don't pass it back.
There are more, but those are just a few.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Sex
"You must never have sexual relations with a close relative, for I am the Lord.
Do not have sexual relations with your sister or half sister, whether she is your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born into your household or someone else’s.
Do not have sexual relations with your stepsister, the daughter of any of your father’s wives, for she is your sister.
Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife, for this would violate your brother.
Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. And do not take her granddaughter, whether her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter, and have sexual relations with her. They are close relatives, and this would be a wicked act.
While your wife is living, do not marry her sister and have sexual relations with her, for they would be rivals.
Do not defile yourself by having sexual intercourse with your neighbor’s wife.
Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
A man must not defile himself by having sex with an animal. And a woman must not offer herself to
a male animal to have intercourse with it. This is a perverse act."
- Leviticus 18: 6, 9, 16-18, 19, 22, 23
"Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers."
- Proverbs 5:15-17
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."-1 Corinthians 6:12-18
"The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
-1 Corinthians 7:3-7
"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God."
-Ephesians 5:3-4
"So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world."
-Colossians 3:5
"God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."
-1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
-Matthew 5:27-28
Do not have sexual relations with your sister or half sister, whether she is your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born into your household or someone else’s.
Do not have sexual relations with your stepsister, the daughter of any of your father’s wives, for she is your sister.
Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife, for this would violate your brother.
Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. And do not take her granddaughter, whether her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter, and have sexual relations with her. They are close relatives, and this would be a wicked act.
While your wife is living, do not marry her sister and have sexual relations with her, for they would be rivals.
Do not defile yourself by having sexual intercourse with your neighbor’s wife.
Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
A man must not defile himself by having sex with an animal. And a woman must not offer herself to
a male animal to have intercourse with it. This is a perverse act."
- Leviticus 18: 6, 9, 16-18, 19, 22, 23
"Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers."
- Proverbs 5:15-17
"You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."-1 Corinthians 6:12-18
"The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
-1 Corinthians 7:3-7
"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God."
-Ephesians 5:3-4
"So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world."
-Colossians 3:5
"God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."
-1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
-Matthew 5:27-28
Sunday, November 3, 2013
My thoughts for today
Fall leaves are beautiful. Every year.
I just bought mozzarella cheese sticks wrapped in pepperoni and it isn't as good as I thought it would be. Bummer.
I usually don't recognize when my camera batteries are about to die because I'm too busy taking pictures to see the little symbol on the screen. And then it just dies.
Although it gets frustrating when you only have 5 lives on Candy Crush and then it makes you wait 20ish minutes before you get another one, I'm actually really glad because otherwise I'd just be sitting there wasting more time.
Heard a great sermon this morning about prayer through the story of Elijah. From praying that the rain would stop for three years, asking God to provide a constant supply of food for him and the window and son he stayed with, asking God to put life back into a dead boy, asking God to bring fire down on an altar that seemed impossible to burn to prove to others that He is God, praying the rain back, to then having God show Elijah that He isn't always in all the power but also in the quiet... what a cool story and so much to learn from it.
I really enjoy tagging people in pictures on facebook, adding them to groups, and other facebook related things... and I'm not really sure why I'm wired that way. Haha.
When people fall, I laugh. I can't help it. This kid fell today because he was standing on a rolling platform thing and trying to shoot a basketball in the gym where our church meets. He wasn't hurt. It's not like I think it's funny when someone gets hurt, I just think it's funny when someone falls or drops something.
Last night at the end of work, I was tired but oddly thinking things were way funnier than they were supposed to be and I had one of those moments where I laughed so hard that I spit my drink out on the floor (and on my work apron), almost peed in my pants, had to crouch down on the floor because I couldn't stop laughing, and then because I swallowed my drink wrong I was coughing and crying and could NOT compose myself. Thankfully it was just my shift leader with me but he was like, "What is going on?? What's so funny??" And nothing was that funny, I was just laughing and couldn't stop! Usually when I get like that I drink more caffeine and I'm good to go, but I waited too long I suppose!
At the end of church today, as the pastor was praying... I had a thought, like clarity, like God was revealing something to me. "Sometimes you struggle because others who don't know me are watching you. And when you come out victoriously because of Me, then I will get the glory. Then they will know Me." I don't like people to know when I struggle, what battles I fight, or what things hurt me. But maybe sometimes people who don't know Him need to see it because they go through the same things but fall in the end, whereas with me I can show them how God is the one who delivers me. Or, in times I do fail, they can see how I still know that God loves me and forgives me and gives me grace beyond measure. I hate these battles and fights in life where I feel like I should be better than these stupid battles, that I should be above that because God is in my life, but I'm still human. I pray that through my failures and struggles that others will somehow see Him and that He will get the glory.
I just bought mozzarella cheese sticks wrapped in pepperoni and it isn't as good as I thought it would be. Bummer.
I usually don't recognize when my camera batteries are about to die because I'm too busy taking pictures to see the little symbol on the screen. And then it just dies.
Although it gets frustrating when you only have 5 lives on Candy Crush and then it makes you wait 20ish minutes before you get another one, I'm actually really glad because otherwise I'd just be sitting there wasting more time.
Heard a great sermon this morning about prayer through the story of Elijah. From praying that the rain would stop for three years, asking God to provide a constant supply of food for him and the window and son he stayed with, asking God to put life back into a dead boy, asking God to bring fire down on an altar that seemed impossible to burn to prove to others that He is God, praying the rain back, to then having God show Elijah that He isn't always in all the power but also in the quiet... what a cool story and so much to learn from it.
I really enjoy tagging people in pictures on facebook, adding them to groups, and other facebook related things... and I'm not really sure why I'm wired that way. Haha.
When people fall, I laugh. I can't help it. This kid fell today because he was standing on a rolling platform thing and trying to shoot a basketball in the gym where our church meets. He wasn't hurt. It's not like I think it's funny when someone gets hurt, I just think it's funny when someone falls or drops something.
Last night at the end of work, I was tired but oddly thinking things were way funnier than they were supposed to be and I had one of those moments where I laughed so hard that I spit my drink out on the floor (and on my work apron), almost peed in my pants, had to crouch down on the floor because I couldn't stop laughing, and then because I swallowed my drink wrong I was coughing and crying and could NOT compose myself. Thankfully it was just my shift leader with me but he was like, "What is going on?? What's so funny??" And nothing was that funny, I was just laughing and couldn't stop! Usually when I get like that I drink more caffeine and I'm good to go, but I waited too long I suppose!
At the end of church today, as the pastor was praying... I had a thought, like clarity, like God was revealing something to me. "Sometimes you struggle because others who don't know me are watching you. And when you come out victoriously because of Me, then I will get the glory. Then they will know Me." I don't like people to know when I struggle, what battles I fight, or what things hurt me. But maybe sometimes people who don't know Him need to see it because they go through the same things but fall in the end, whereas with me I can show them how God is the one who delivers me. Or, in times I do fail, they can see how I still know that God loves me and forgives me and gives me grace beyond measure. I hate these battles and fights in life where I feel like I should be better than these stupid battles, that I should be above that because God is in my life, but I'm still human. I pray that through my failures and struggles that others will somehow see Him and that He will get the glory.
Friday, November 1, 2013
The deepest of love, and of letting go
Maybe it's just girls who run through scenarios and conversations in their heads that will never happen, but maybe guys do it too and just do it less. Either way, sometimes those imaginary conversations of "what if" help me to realize things and see things differently. And maybe God works through that to give clarity and realizations that hadn't come before.
Tonight as I ran through a series of events in my head - what I would do and say and how this other person would probably react - it was one of those "worst case scenario" moments where I just didn't see a good ending to it if I actually said and did those things. Bummer. However, this is what I thought after that...
If someone is on a diet, and it's a struggle for them not to eat chocolate, then I won't eat chocolate in front of them. If someone is an alcoholic, trying to stop drinking all together, then I won't drink in front of them. (I rarely drink, but just giving an example.) When you care for someone, you sometimes make sacrifices or change things while you're around them because it would be selfish otherwise, and that is the last thing that Jesus was. So if someone says their life is better off without me in it... even when I don't understand why, and it hurts, then I'm out. It's the weirdest thing to want someone else to be happy even when their happiness means your sadness. It's the kind of love that far exceeds a romantic love, but a love that wants the other person to have what they want and have a beautiful life even if it means it's sad for the other person. For example, one of my best friends, Joy, is in Bosnia for a year. I miss her SOOO MUCH!! But I know that she is happy and excited to be there, so I pray for her and help support her over there. That's not the situation I'm referring to, but it's an example of it.
Also, I think letting go of things isn't a one time thing. It's a constant thing.
I had a friend from 12 years old to 20 years old that I went to school and church with, lived in my neighborhood, we sang duets together, went to Kenya together... I thought she was a friend I would be friends with forever. We grew apart. I don't even know exactly when because it was slow. And then she deleted her facebook, and life got carried away. Later she found me on Instgram and I saw that she was engaged, and her wedding is this Saturday. I haven't talked to her since they even started dating, and I always thought I would be going to her wedding. Yet here comes this monumental day and I'm not invited. I'm not even sure if she has the same phone number anymore to reach her. Sometimes I think about her and pray for her and then let it go. Other times I'm overcome by sadness. I think it's just a process in life of letting things go.
Tonight as I ran through a series of events in my head - what I would do and say and how this other person would probably react - it was one of those "worst case scenario" moments where I just didn't see a good ending to it if I actually said and did those things. Bummer. However, this is what I thought after that...
If someone is on a diet, and it's a struggle for them not to eat chocolate, then I won't eat chocolate in front of them. If someone is an alcoholic, trying to stop drinking all together, then I won't drink in front of them. (I rarely drink, but just giving an example.) When you care for someone, you sometimes make sacrifices or change things while you're around them because it would be selfish otherwise, and that is the last thing that Jesus was. So if someone says their life is better off without me in it... even when I don't understand why, and it hurts, then I'm out. It's the weirdest thing to want someone else to be happy even when their happiness means your sadness. It's the kind of love that far exceeds a romantic love, but a love that wants the other person to have what they want and have a beautiful life even if it means it's sad for the other person. For example, one of my best friends, Joy, is in Bosnia for a year. I miss her SOOO MUCH!! But I know that she is happy and excited to be there, so I pray for her and help support her over there. That's not the situation I'm referring to, but it's an example of it.
Also, I think letting go of things isn't a one time thing. It's a constant thing.
I had a friend from 12 years old to 20 years old that I went to school and church with, lived in my neighborhood, we sang duets together, went to Kenya together... I thought she was a friend I would be friends with forever. We grew apart. I don't even know exactly when because it was slow. And then she deleted her facebook, and life got carried away. Later she found me on Instgram and I saw that she was engaged, and her wedding is this Saturday. I haven't talked to her since they even started dating, and I always thought I would be going to her wedding. Yet here comes this monumental day and I'm not invited. I'm not even sure if she has the same phone number anymore to reach her. Sometimes I think about her and pray for her and then let it go. Other times I'm overcome by sadness. I think it's just a process in life of letting things go.
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