Almost every day at work there's a point where I'm so stressed and my anxiety is so high that I stop functioning correctly, I start getting angry, I start doing things wrong, and I think how can I even get through the next five minutes without crying? And on days when that lasts too long, I have anxiety dreams too. And sometimes I do cry.
There are times when we are understaffed or someone is on a 30 minute lunch break and we get busy. Or, we just simply get too busy. Someone orders one...or three... venti coffees and I turn around and we have NO coffee. So I need to brew more. And then there are multiple things to go in the oven at the same time which each take a lot of time to get the bag ready, sometimes cut the bagel or unwrap the sandwich and get everything in and out without dropping anything. Then the headset is always dinging. People are always talking in your ear, sometimes multiple people. Then sometimes if there's just two of us, I have to go over on bar and start making drinks... and realize we're out of something like ice or mocha or something that takes time to run to the back to get more and change the pumps on the syrup or scoop the ice into the bucket it and run it back up. Or sometimes we're out of the food the person is looking for in the drive thru and we're running around the store to the fridge, the back fridge, the front of the pastry case, etc. to see if we have more of something, and then sometimes they want to know the price right then so we run back to the computer in the drivethru if the one up front is busy. And then people order things at the window, or they want something remade, and new people need to be shown how to do things, or the trash at the condiment bar by the front door has no cream and sugar, or there's no toilet paper in the bathroom and someone needs me to restock it right then instead of using the other one. Mobile orders come in from people's phone and they do it from the parking lot sometimes or in the store or in the drivethru and immediately ask for their drink as if we're magic. We are, but not that magic. Some orders come with 5 food items and 7 drinks, and if they come through the drive thru in the morning before 11 AM, we're supposed to get that all out the window in under 50 seconds. Each car should not be at the window more than 50 seconds, so when they get to the window and order a sandwich that heats for a minute and a half, you'll either get reprimanded by somebody up high on the chain of people eventually, or ask them to pull up and have someone run the food out to them. Sometimes in the middle of all that stress somebody is yelling at you or angry or they're telling you what a terrible human you are for not understanding them when they said the wrong thing anyways or you won't break the rules for them. The phone rings and we're supposed to answer it. There are timers beeping all the time that tell us when to brew more coffee, when to stop steeping the tea, when to change the sanitizer water, when to clean every spoon and ice scoop in the store and bring up new ones. There's a beeping safe when the shift is counting money, and sometimes they can't get back to it fast enough so the beeping is loud and keeps going. And somehow we're supposed to keep the counters clean, keep making whip creams, keep stocking cups and lids and milks from the back, and KEEP A FREAKING SMILE ON YOUR FACE AT ALL TIMES OR SOMEBODY IS PISSED THAT YOU AREN'T SMILING AT THEM BECAUSE THAT MUST MEAN YOU ARE BEING A JERK TO THEM IF YOU DIDN'T SMILE!!
Let me tell you world... you are playing the wrong game in life, with the wrong rules, with the wrong game plan, with the wrong emphasis on things. You are gauging success by how short of a time someone is at the drive thru window, how perfect the store is, how clean it is, how much money you make, how little of mistakes you make, your GPA, your title at your job...
It's like you're playing Monopoly but the world is set up to play Settlers of Catan. So you're all losing. Everything you are placing as important in life is temporary and fleeting and in the end will be meaningless... but it's already meaningless. You see, the rules of the game are this: The most important thing on earth is that God is glorified. That He is made known, that others are brought to Him, that we love with the most love we possibly can, that we use our gifts and talents to serve Him and serve others, that souls are rescued from hell, that we build each other up and draw each other in. So when you are dead and standing before the Living God, the window times and bank accounts will not even be a dot on the spectrum of your life. It will be the treasures you stored up - the love you shared, the glory you gave Him, the people you shared God with. So while you keep accumulating your Monopoly money and buying plastic houses, I'm going to keep playing the game the way the world was made. I keep trying to remember that when I'm stressed, in those moments of sheer panic at work. This is temporary. This is meaningless. This is fleeting. This is not important. This is actually ridiculously silly, to be stressed over moving my body as fast as possible to get people mere drinks and food as fast as possible. Sometimes I'm good at reminding myself of that. Other times I am not. And I ache not to be stressed anymore. I ache to be calm and quiet and peaceful. But the Lord has not allowed any other job to happen. In the meantime, I will try to slow down despite the pressure of the world, and hold my ground.
