I've had a great, long weekend! Thursday night I had bible study. Friday night I went to Mars Hill church to help set up for the festival Saturday, and ate dinner there as well. Saturday was the Kenya music festival with bands, BBQ (I helped serve for a while), booths, dunking booth, inflatables for kids, and more. It was a hot day but the wind made it feel great. SO thankful it didn't rain on us! I got to hold a 3 month old baby - so cute. Saturday night I went to a friend's house and we ate and played a game. I laughed so hard I cried and couldn't breathe. Sunday/yesterday I took a middle school girl from church out to Starbucks. She's sweet. At night I had a different bible study (Northwest Christian Church), and then after that around 9:30 PM I went to some friends' house that I have bible study with on Thursday nights (North Star church) to get logistics down for the golf tournament today. Today was the golf tournament fundraiser for Slovakia. I got to drive a golf cart and get lost on the golf course with the wind blowing again that felt great. Played some cards, played with some little kids, hung out with friends while the men golfed.
Busy weekend! And this upcoming weekend we have a big yard sale to raise money for our mission trip to Slovakia as well!
Having events and stuff to do is what I feel like makes life interesting. I know that work is where we spend most of our time, but it's a drag most of the time. For me at least.
12 days til I leave for the beach!! I. am. so. excited.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Labels, misconceptions, and sterotypes
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a pastor's daughter. There have been both wonderful things and frustrating things that go along with this. When I was in kids choir and would get a solo, some kids would say, "She only got it because her dad's the pastor." When I raised my hand in 11th grade Honors Lit to ask what a work meant the teacher replied, "You're a preacher's kid and you don't know what that word means?" as if I were the one to go to seminary. People would come up to me at church or outside of church and know who I was and know stuff about me and I'd have no idea who they were. (It still happens sometimes.) People knew my business growing up. Everybody could watch me and go tell on me to my parents. I have sometimes felt pressure to live a really good life because everybody is watching. I get frustrated with people who complain to my dad about stupid stuff at church or criticize him. On the upside, whenever new people came into the church and had kids, my dad could tell them I baby-sit and they'd immediately trust me because of my dad. I have been able to play on the grand piano in the sanctuary. I've been able to stay at one church from the age of 6 to 18, and then still come back on occassion. We've had a lot of support from church members over the years in tough times.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I'm an Early Childhood Major. No I cannot diagnose your struggling child while you tell me about them in the grocery store line. No I am not the Nanny like on TV who comes to fix kids with terrible behavior and leaves with perfect kids. No I do not want to discuss budget cuts, having too much testing, the future of education, or bad teachers you or your kids had. No I do not want to sub. No I did not breeze through college just learning about how to color and read kid books, it was very hard and writing lesson plans is way harder than you can imagine, to accomidate different paced kids, remediation, advanced students, ones that finish early, ones that don't finish, interaction, meet the state standards, have materials ready, connect them to other lessons, and assess if they really "got it" or not.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a barista at Starbucks. If you have ever worked with retail / the public, you will know the frustrations of crazy people coming in and out. There are obviously great people too, but it's pretty much 50/50. It is not what I want my career to be in. It is not where I hope to stay for long, but I don't hate my job. It's only cool smelling like coffee for a few days, then it gets annoying. There are a lot of dishes to do and that's no fun. It stinks when people ask what my degree is in and then I say I'm working at Starbucks. But life goes on.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a photographer. I rarely say that particular term, but I guess I am. I don't have a website, business card, or facebook page. I don't get paid or shoot for weddings or senior pictures or engagement pictures. It seems like there are too many people doing all that. But I have always loved to take pictures so that is what I do. I also love other people who take pictures. I like to look at other's pictures. I will never work for National Geographic or a magazine or an art galary. Taking pictures is simply a hobby and a passion that I will just have forever to enjoy through life.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a writer. Since the age of 7 I have kept a journal (consistantly since I was 11), and I loved xanga when it was popular. When I was younger I used to write letters all the time to everybody. On the rare occasion I get a letter that is not an e-mail or birthday card with their name signed, it means a lot to me. I have shoeboxes of letters in my closet of letters people have sent me, and what a treasure they are. All the way from elementary school up. I write poems but rarely share them. I was always good at writing papers. I write long e-mails. Again, I will never write a best selling book or write for New York Times, but writing is another passion that I will enjoy throughout life, and I love others who write.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a child of God. A follower of Christ. Not just a Christian, but so many people think they are Christians but aren't really. I've been made fun of because of being a Christian. I've been questioned and mocked. I've made decisions that others think are ridiculous because of following Christ. But through Christ I have joy and peace that nothing else in the world can offer. I have a solid rock that never changes in the world that always does. I have an excitement knowing that when I die I will be in heaven with the people I love who also follow Christ. While some people say Christians are hypocrites, I would say that everybody in the world is at some point. No religion is without them. I am not perfect. I am not always ok. I mess up. But He died on the cross so that all of that is erased.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I'm an Early Childhood Major. No I cannot diagnose your struggling child while you tell me about them in the grocery store line. No I am not the Nanny like on TV who comes to fix kids with terrible behavior and leaves with perfect kids. No I do not want to discuss budget cuts, having too much testing, the future of education, or bad teachers you or your kids had. No I do not want to sub. No I did not breeze through college just learning about how to color and read kid books, it was very hard and writing lesson plans is way harder than you can imagine, to accomidate different paced kids, remediation, advanced students, ones that finish early, ones that don't finish, interaction, meet the state standards, have materials ready, connect them to other lessons, and assess if they really "got it" or not.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a barista at Starbucks. If you have ever worked with retail / the public, you will know the frustrations of crazy people coming in and out. There are obviously great people too, but it's pretty much 50/50. It is not what I want my career to be in. It is not where I hope to stay for long, but I don't hate my job. It's only cool smelling like coffee for a few days, then it gets annoying. There are a lot of dishes to do and that's no fun. It stinks when people ask what my degree is in and then I say I'm working at Starbucks. But life goes on.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a photographer. I rarely say that particular term, but I guess I am. I don't have a website, business card, or facebook page. I don't get paid or shoot for weddings or senior pictures or engagement pictures. It seems like there are too many people doing all that. But I have always loved to take pictures so that is what I do. I also love other people who take pictures. I like to look at other's pictures. I will never work for National Geographic or a magazine or an art galary. Taking pictures is simply a hobby and a passion that I will just have forever to enjoy through life.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a writer. Since the age of 7 I have kept a journal (consistantly since I was 11), and I loved xanga when it was popular. When I was younger I used to write letters all the time to everybody. On the rare occasion I get a letter that is not an e-mail or birthday card with their name signed, it means a lot to me. I have shoeboxes of letters in my closet of letters people have sent me, and what a treasure they are. All the way from elementary school up. I write poems but rarely share them. I was always good at writing papers. I write long e-mails. Again, I will never write a best selling book or write for New York Times, but writing is another passion that I will enjoy throughout life, and I love others who write.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I am a child of God. A follower of Christ. Not just a Christian, but so many people think they are Christians but aren't really. I've been made fun of because of being a Christian. I've been questioned and mocked. I've made decisions that others think are ridiculous because of following Christ. But through Christ I have joy and peace that nothing else in the world can offer. I have a solid rock that never changes in the world that always does. I have an excitement knowing that when I die I will be in heaven with the people I love who also follow Christ. While some people say Christians are hypocrites, I would say that everybody in the world is at some point. No religion is without them. I am not perfect. I am not always ok. I mess up. But He died on the cross so that all of that is erased.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Prayer
This weekend as I thought about prayer, I had a mental image in my head of writing my prayer on a piece of paper, blowing up the balloon and holding the balloon as it floats above my head. Please let the money come in for Slovakia. Please help there to be good weather on the day of our Kenya fundraiser, and to raise a ton of money to support the orphanages in Kenya. Please heal my friend Leslie from cancer, 100%, and for them to have enough money to pay for all the doctor stuff. Please show me what job/career I'm supposed to have... soon. Please let me get married...soon. Please give me patience when I see no answers or the answer is no. Please help my friends going to Bosnia for 3 months on a mission trip raise enough money. Please help me have enough money each month to pay off my loans and yet somehow save up to move out some day.
But in the cases that God says no, the needle pops the balloon and the pieces lay at my feet. Please let me get into Georgia College and State University. Please help me get a teaching job. Please let this relationship work out. Please help him to like me. Please let me sing at church again. Please let me go to Kenya again this year. Please show me where you want me to serve and how I should bring You glory because I'm not sure if I'm doing that well enough.
So then my thoughts are... why blow up the balloon in the first place? No balloon, no pieces on the ground. No specific prayer, no dissapointment.
Yet nowhere in the bible is anything written like this. Quite the opposite. It calls us to pray with persistance, with boldness, with faith, constantly, in all situations, always. Jesus uses parables and visual examples to describe what kind of attitude we should have when coming in prayer. Prayer is a conversation with the God of the universe. I sometimes imagine being in heaven and talking to Jesus... "Hey Jesus, remember that time I prayed to go to Kenya but you pushed me toward Slovakia instead? I'm so thankful you did because I was better used there - I was able to tell others about You there more. Remember that one time I asked if I could sing in church during the services and You said no through other people? Well now I can see that it's because if I were singing on stage I would be praciticing before and after, and miss interacting with people in the congregation and I see how you used me in reaching out to others." Looking back at my life at the end, with all the puzzle pieces filled in and the big picture finalized, I will see how my aim to shove a puzzle piece in the wrong section would have made the puzzle incomplete.
This still leaves me to wonder exactly what to pray for. I have prayed before with all sincerity, persistance, and boldness and God has said no. Some I'm sure it's "not yet" but others are flat out no, it could not possibly happen, the time has passed for Him to say yes. I know that sometimes I'm basically saying, "God, can you let me have that piece of junk over there? Even though it's terrible and will cause me lots of pain, I still want it. And I'm going to ask you for it every day." I don't see it as junk, but God does because it's not meant for me or God has something better, or that will bring Him more glory. Ok. So how does my prayer ever change His mind? How does it ever cause God to say yes? I know it's one of those things we will never understand... along with predestination, the trinity, hell, why He even created the bad tree in the garden of eden in the first place, etc. Until we're in heaven our brains cannot comprehend. I hope that I can learn to trust God when He says no instead of getting so upset about it. I hope I can get past the logicis and just trust.
But in the cases that God says no, the needle pops the balloon and the pieces lay at my feet. Please let me get into Georgia College and State University. Please help me get a teaching job. Please let this relationship work out. Please help him to like me. Please let me sing at church again. Please let me go to Kenya again this year. Please show me where you want me to serve and how I should bring You glory because I'm not sure if I'm doing that well enough.
So then my thoughts are... why blow up the balloon in the first place? No balloon, no pieces on the ground. No specific prayer, no dissapointment.
Yet nowhere in the bible is anything written like this. Quite the opposite. It calls us to pray with persistance, with boldness, with faith, constantly, in all situations, always. Jesus uses parables and visual examples to describe what kind of attitude we should have when coming in prayer. Prayer is a conversation with the God of the universe. I sometimes imagine being in heaven and talking to Jesus... "Hey Jesus, remember that time I prayed to go to Kenya but you pushed me toward Slovakia instead? I'm so thankful you did because I was better used there - I was able to tell others about You there more. Remember that one time I asked if I could sing in church during the services and You said no through other people? Well now I can see that it's because if I were singing on stage I would be praciticing before and after, and miss interacting with people in the congregation and I see how you used me in reaching out to others." Looking back at my life at the end, with all the puzzle pieces filled in and the big picture finalized, I will see how my aim to shove a puzzle piece in the wrong section would have made the puzzle incomplete.
This still leaves me to wonder exactly what to pray for. I have prayed before with all sincerity, persistance, and boldness and God has said no. Some I'm sure it's "not yet" but others are flat out no, it could not possibly happen, the time has passed for Him to say yes. I know that sometimes I'm basically saying, "God, can you let me have that piece of junk over there? Even though it's terrible and will cause me lots of pain, I still want it. And I'm going to ask you for it every day." I don't see it as junk, but God does because it's not meant for me or God has something better, or that will bring Him more glory. Ok. So how does my prayer ever change His mind? How does it ever cause God to say yes? I know it's one of those things we will never understand... along with predestination, the trinity, hell, why He even created the bad tree in the garden of eden in the first place, etc. Until we're in heaven our brains cannot comprehend. I hope that I can learn to trust God when He says no instead of getting so upset about it. I hope I can get past the logicis and just trust.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Difficult customers
I checked out Harry Potter 4, the movie, from the library. The first thing I've checked out there. I'm stoked that I didn't have to pay for it! They pretty much have no movies at this particular library because it's out in the boondox, but it has all the Harry Potter movies! Sweet.
In working with difficult and complaining customers, I've learned to empathize with them and agree with whatever they say, and for some reason it makes them feel better. I help them throw a giant pitty party, and then we can move on. For example, people come in towards the end of the night and we only brew Pikes Place coffee from about 6:00 on because it gets slow and we waste so much coffee if we brew 3 kinds. Some people come in and complain that Pikes is gross and are mad. I usually say, "I know, I agree that Pikes tastes bad! But corporate is the one that determines what we brew, we don't get a say in it." (I don't like any of the brewed coffee, haha) One time a lady was complaining that she bought a gift card and the holders are poorly designed so that it's easy for people to misunderstand how to put it in right, and they fall out. She was so mad about her card falling out, practically yelling at me as if it were my fault. I got "worked up" with her in saying, "Oh no! That's terrible! I'm so sorry! That really stinks! Here, let me show you how to work them, and if you want I can put tape around the edges." And then I try to end with, "Is there anything else I can do to help?" Overall my stragey has worked well, because then I'm agreeing with them and not "against" them.
The beach trip in May was cancelled because a bunch of people were unable to go, but we found more people so now we are still going, just to a different beach house. Still so glad to be going though!
I saw the movie The Hunger Games this week. It was long! But pretty good.
In working with difficult and complaining customers, I've learned to empathize with them and agree with whatever they say, and for some reason it makes them feel better. I help them throw a giant pitty party, and then we can move on. For example, people come in towards the end of the night and we only brew Pikes Place coffee from about 6:00 on because it gets slow and we waste so much coffee if we brew 3 kinds. Some people come in and complain that Pikes is gross and are mad. I usually say, "I know, I agree that Pikes tastes bad! But corporate is the one that determines what we brew, we don't get a say in it." (I don't like any of the brewed coffee, haha) One time a lady was complaining that she bought a gift card and the holders are poorly designed so that it's easy for people to misunderstand how to put it in right, and they fall out. She was so mad about her card falling out, practically yelling at me as if it were my fault. I got "worked up" with her in saying, "Oh no! That's terrible! I'm so sorry! That really stinks! Here, let me show you how to work them, and if you want I can put tape around the edges." And then I try to end with, "Is there anything else I can do to help?" Overall my stragey has worked well, because then I'm agreeing with them and not "against" them.
The beach trip in May was cancelled because a bunch of people were unable to go, but we found more people so now we are still going, just to a different beach house. Still so glad to be going though!
I saw the movie The Hunger Games this week. It was long! But pretty good.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Don't you just love it when someone writes about vague stuff?
House / dog sitting this week. They also have a few fish and a rabbit. Fish stink. Not very entertaining either. Rabbits poop a lot. Also not very entertaining. They seem like useless pets to me? The dog is big but still a "puppy," and the thing is, I'm not a fan of big dogs. Any time I'm at the house and not in the bedroom, he wants to jump up on me with his paws around my waist or on my shoulders, and play bite. Which still hurts, and I don't want slobber all over me, nor do I want his big paws to hit me continuously. And when I try to keep him down, he gets all upset and freaks out. He's peed on the kitchen floor and pooped in his cage when I got home tonight. Gross. He chewed a hole in two out of three of the sofa pillows, so I put those in a bedroom and closed the door. Since the family is used to going to bed at 9 PM and getting up at 5:30 AM and I am used to going to bed at 2 - 2:30 AM and getting up around 11 AM, I get about 4 hours of sleep before he wakes me up barking around 6 AM. I let him out and go back to sleep, but he wakes me every hour after.... Ugh. Frustrating.
I've been bringing books to read on my 10 and 30 minute breaks at work. That makes it more fun. It's also fun on days I play games on my iphone. Between those two things it makes the day more enjoyable. Plus facebook on my iphone. Ha. Weeks where I hang out with friends or go places make the week more exciting as well.
Harry Potter 4: finished. It was good.
Things at work that frustrate me:
-water getting in my gloves when I wash dishes
-washing dishes for 8 hours (plus it's so hot back there I sweat buckets)
-people who say "frappe" (pronounced frapay) instead of frappuccino or ventay instead of venti
-most of the time the headsets are way too quiet and you can't hear the person speaking, and sometimes they also can't hear you
-people who can barely speak english and try to order... it's hard to understand them and for them to tell us what they want
-rude people
-when someone asks what kind of pastries or cups we have inside when they're in drive through because there are a TON to list off, and they're far away so someone else has to list them off to you or you have to just run over and back and stuff... they should just come inside
-changing the outside trashcans because they're heavy to pull the tops off
-when the cashregistar screens delay / freeze / update because I can't remember the people's drinks that well without seeing it
-me not being able to make drinks at the same time as talk to someone or answer drive through
-me not being able to remember someone's drink if I'm not right there at the screen to ring it up
-when teens or kids from the apartments by our store steal our tips
-when someone calls or texts and I can't reply or listen to the voicemail and I really want to
-brewing a new batch of coffee every 10-30 minutes depending on how many we're brewing
-other people who stretch and break the rules. Why is it that hard for people to follow the rules?
-there are days my legs, feet and back still hurt
-doesn't pay enough
Things at work that are good / ok:
-some of the people I work with
-getting free drinks that I normally would have to pay for every day if I didn't work at Starbucks
-getting free time where I don't have to do homework, grade papers, or write lesson plans
-being able to ask off for days so that I can go places or do things with friends
-sometimes it's slow and that's ok with me
-I'm better at ringing people up now, and pretty good with making drinks (just wish I could do more than one at a time better)
-I get to see a lot of friends and people I know that come through to get starbucks, some of which I haven't seen in years
-I'm so thankful I'm not a shift leader, and never want to be one. It's nice having someone else to go to to ask questions and be responsible for the important stuff, hahaha
-I like going to other Starbucks sometimes to pick up things we ran out of because it's fun to see the other starbucks people at other stores
-I work nights which I'd much rather do because I'm terrible at waking up every morning and going to bed every night!!
-I have a great manager
-Sometimes there are ridiculous customers that are crazy that actually make me laugh hysterically because of their ridiculousness
Sunday I baptized a girl named Danielle who is 21 and it was my first time baptizing someone! I haven't known her long but I'll be meeting with her once a week for at least 6 months as an accountability partner! I had to wear these fisihing waiters (waders?) and it looked so funny! I had a shirt on over it though, so you could only see them from the waist down. I had practied in my head what I was going to say, but a moment came where it wouldn't come out and I stopped and just stood there, and thought, "Speak!!" and I finally continued.
Hey, you know what's fun? Writing about vague stuff. Because then people can be like, "Yeah, I know, me too" when they relate it to their situation which might not even be the same thing, but close enough. And that way you can talk about something personal without worrying if someone you don't want to know about it happens to read it. Ok, ready?
Vaguness #1: I think everybody in life has problems, bad days, emotional issues, pet peeves, and struggles. But it really makes me mad when someone has 50 bad days and like 4 good ones, and they complain or sulk or get mad at other people. Part of me expects it from people who aren't christians because I know that Christ is where true joy comes from, and everyone without Him is searching to fill that God-shaped hole with other stuff like careers, friends, family, drinking, partying, entertainment, whatever. But still... it's annoying. Just don't let the little things in life dominate your life. I just don't want to be around people like that.
Vaguness #2: There's this thing that I hope happens... but I know it wouldn't until at least 3 months from now or later. In the meantime, it's hard to wait. It's hard not to try to hope it happens earlier or think about it too much or get my hopes up. Because it might not actually happen. I'm praying for patience, wisdom, discernment, and the ability to step back and let God work instead of being the one who leads. It's hard for me to do that because I sometimes feel like if I don't do something, God won't (or He won't prompt others to), and that I'll miss out on things. But in reality I know that there are things that can ONLY happen by God's hand and His speaking to others in my life, and my actions would totally mess everything up.
Vaguness #3: You know how you meet people and you're instantly drawn to them? It might have nothing to do with their looks, or their looks might factor in, but you feel the want to get to know them or be friends with them or be around them, but you're not even sure why yet. And the more you learn about that person you think, "Huh, I want to be friends with this person because they seem awesome" but sometimes your paths just don't cross often and you think, "Well......are they worth my time to seek out a friendship with them when it would be more of an effort (because I wouldn't see them regularly)? Do they think the same of me?" And in the case where the other person is a guy, I think, "Well, I don't know them well enough to 'like' them but I might if I got to know them better..." and in that situation, should it be all or mostly the guy 'initiating'?
Vaguness #4: I am the type of person who wants to talk things out. I might shut down first or not want to talk about it, but at some point I do. I know everybody has their own way of dealing with conflict, anger, and sadness, but I feel like you should talk about it to get it over with and clear the air. Right? If you don't then it's just this random feeling of, "Well are we ok? Are you still mad at me? Is this conflict over or is it still brewing? Can we just move forward and forget the problem or will it be awkward?"
I've been bringing books to read on my 10 and 30 minute breaks at work. That makes it more fun. It's also fun on days I play games on my iphone. Between those two things it makes the day more enjoyable. Plus facebook on my iphone. Ha. Weeks where I hang out with friends or go places make the week more exciting as well.
Harry Potter 4: finished. It was good.
Things at work that frustrate me:
-water getting in my gloves when I wash dishes
-washing dishes for 8 hours (plus it's so hot back there I sweat buckets)
-people who say "frappe" (pronounced frapay) instead of frappuccino or ventay instead of venti
-most of the time the headsets are way too quiet and you can't hear the person speaking, and sometimes they also can't hear you
-people who can barely speak english and try to order... it's hard to understand them and for them to tell us what they want
-rude people
-when someone asks what kind of pastries or cups we have inside when they're in drive through because there are a TON to list off, and they're far away so someone else has to list them off to you or you have to just run over and back and stuff... they should just come inside
-changing the outside trashcans because they're heavy to pull the tops off
-when the cashregistar screens delay / freeze / update because I can't remember the people's drinks that well without seeing it
-me not being able to make drinks at the same time as talk to someone or answer drive through
-me not being able to remember someone's drink if I'm not right there at the screen to ring it up
-when teens or kids from the apartments by our store steal our tips
-when someone calls or texts and I can't reply or listen to the voicemail and I really want to
-brewing a new batch of coffee every 10-30 minutes depending on how many we're brewing
-other people who stretch and break the rules. Why is it that hard for people to follow the rules?
-there are days my legs, feet and back still hurt
-doesn't pay enough
Things at work that are good / ok:
-some of the people I work with
-getting free drinks that I normally would have to pay for every day if I didn't work at Starbucks
-getting free time where I don't have to do homework, grade papers, or write lesson plans
-being able to ask off for days so that I can go places or do things with friends
-sometimes it's slow and that's ok with me
-I'm better at ringing people up now, and pretty good with making drinks (just wish I could do more than one at a time better)
-I get to see a lot of friends and people I know that come through to get starbucks, some of which I haven't seen in years
-I'm so thankful I'm not a shift leader, and never want to be one. It's nice having someone else to go to to ask questions and be responsible for the important stuff, hahaha
-I like going to other Starbucks sometimes to pick up things we ran out of because it's fun to see the other starbucks people at other stores
-I work nights which I'd much rather do because I'm terrible at waking up every morning and going to bed every night!!
-I have a great manager
-Sometimes there are ridiculous customers that are crazy that actually make me laugh hysterically because of their ridiculousness
Sunday I baptized a girl named Danielle who is 21 and it was my first time baptizing someone! I haven't known her long but I'll be meeting with her once a week for at least 6 months as an accountability partner! I had to wear these fisihing waiters (waders?) and it looked so funny! I had a shirt on over it though, so you could only see them from the waist down. I had practied in my head what I was going to say, but a moment came where it wouldn't come out and I stopped and just stood there, and thought, "Speak!!" and I finally continued.
Hey, you know what's fun? Writing about vague stuff. Because then people can be like, "Yeah, I know, me too" when they relate it to their situation which might not even be the same thing, but close enough. And that way you can talk about something personal without worrying if someone you don't want to know about it happens to read it. Ok, ready?
Vaguness #1: I think everybody in life has problems, bad days, emotional issues, pet peeves, and struggles. But it really makes me mad when someone has 50 bad days and like 4 good ones, and they complain or sulk or get mad at other people. Part of me expects it from people who aren't christians because I know that Christ is where true joy comes from, and everyone without Him is searching to fill that God-shaped hole with other stuff like careers, friends, family, drinking, partying, entertainment, whatever. But still... it's annoying. Just don't let the little things in life dominate your life. I just don't want to be around people like that.
Vaguness #2: There's this thing that I hope happens... but I know it wouldn't until at least 3 months from now or later. In the meantime, it's hard to wait. It's hard not to try to hope it happens earlier or think about it too much or get my hopes up. Because it might not actually happen. I'm praying for patience, wisdom, discernment, and the ability to step back and let God work instead of being the one who leads. It's hard for me to do that because I sometimes feel like if I don't do something, God won't (or He won't prompt others to), and that I'll miss out on things. But in reality I know that there are things that can ONLY happen by God's hand and His speaking to others in my life, and my actions would totally mess everything up.
Vaguness #3: You know how you meet people and you're instantly drawn to them? It might have nothing to do with their looks, or their looks might factor in, but you feel the want to get to know them or be friends with them or be around them, but you're not even sure why yet. And the more you learn about that person you think, "Huh, I want to be friends with this person because they seem awesome" but sometimes your paths just don't cross often and you think, "Well......are they worth my time to seek out a friendship with them when it would be more of an effort (because I wouldn't see them regularly)? Do they think the same of me?" And in the case where the other person is a guy, I think, "Well, I don't know them well enough to 'like' them but I might if I got to know them better..." and in that situation, should it be all or mostly the guy 'initiating'?
Vaguness #4: I am the type of person who wants to talk things out. I might shut down first or not want to talk about it, but at some point I do. I know everybody has their own way of dealing with conflict, anger, and sadness, but I feel like you should talk about it to get it over with and clear the air. Right? If you don't then it's just this random feeling of, "Well are we ok? Are you still mad at me? Is this conflict over or is it still brewing? Can we just move forward and forget the problem or will it be awkward?"
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