My 1:45 AM random thoughts

My 1:45 AM random thoughts.

Why did God make our hearts to be so much stronger than our brain sometimes? I mean I get that it's good for our heart to be full of love and patience and all the good stuff, and those things should be strong. But why does He allow our heart to make the decisions on other things too, and so quickly override? Brain says make better boundaries, heart says no I don't want to. Brain says eat better, heart says eat sweets. Brain says save money, heart says I want to buy coffee. Brain says things are going to be fine, heart says PANIC!

Next thought. I am reading / looking at The Bible Project book, one book of the bible a day. Today I read and looked at Numbers. It called the wilderness the desert of Paran, and I have never ever noticed that before, or ever considered that the wilderness had a name. I looked up the Hebrew meaning for Paran, and it means to glorify or beautify. The opposite of the wildreness!! The Israelites complained the whole time, and then they all died before getting to the Promised Land - only their children got in - so it didn't beautify them, and I mean the only way I could see that it glorified God is that He kept is covenant promise that they would get in, but only their kids. But I want to look more into that later.

Third thought. I hate when I read Christian non-fiction that sounds like a good idea, but then I read it and it's so common sense and dull. Like someone wrote whole books on what could have been one page. But then other books I read I'm underlining tons of stuff and it's so impactful. For example, all of the books I've read by Priscilla Shirer have been amazing! And so powerful. Right now though I'm reading a book that had good reviews but it's just so watered down that I'm trying to skim it to finish it.

Day four. Places to go, people to see, things to do... jobs to apply to.

Day 4 of my freedom from Starbucks.

In the past 4 days I have had Panera with a friend, gotten Krispy Kreme donuts, held a sleeping baby in the nursery, had pizza with a friend, went to friends' house to catch up and play games, walked some trails with a friend, took pictures of a mom and her 8 month old in a field of sunflowers, read books, and spent time with God.

Last week I applied to 8 places, emailed 6 places to see if they were hiring, and up 4 email alerts if their company posted a new job that matched what I was looking for. Just yesterday and today I applied to 3 places, emailed 1 place, and have 6 companies set to email me or to check back on. I'm not job searching on Sundays.

In a few days, several of my close friends come back from Slovakia, and I haven't seen them in three weeks. And then two others I haven't seen in 6-9 weeks. It's stupid how much I miss them. I'm serious. It's stupid.

There have been moments where I didn't feel like doing anything. Like I literally just sat there and did nothing for a solid 15 minutes. And then I had to make myself get up and do something.

One of the jobs I applied to said, "860 other people have applied to this job" and I do not want to know that!!!

Day one. Two thumbs up!

Day one of my freedom from Starbucks:

I got Starbucks (I know, ironic, but I still like coffee and I did not go to MY Starbucks) on my way to Panera Bread 45 minutes away near Atlanta. There I had lunch with one of my best friends Kaylene for several hours. I have not seen her since Christmas, although we text a lot. On my way home I stopped at Krispy Kreme and The Daily Grind to get more coffee, since it was around 4:00 by then. I job searched a bit before dinner. I was online for a while after dinner, and then read some.

Tomorrow is church and small group / bible study. A new pizza place just opened up right next to our church, so I'm going there for lunch. I'm looking forward to a bunch of my friends coming home this week from 3 weeks in Slovakia - a some that have been there even longer. I have 14 paid vacation hours to put in for Starbucks this week too.

Saturdays were my least favorite days at Starbucks because they were some of the busiest, and often understaffed because of the amount of labor Starbucks allowed us to have. So thankful that today was far better than all my other Saturdays working!

It's coming

Tomorrow - TOMORROW! - is my last day at Starbucks. Six years and eight months.

This week I have applied for and sent emails inquiring about jobs to 14 places (and I also worked 11 hours at Starbucks, and 6 and a half hours tomorrow). Today alone I job searched for 3 hours split between doing other things.

Intermixed with my job searching, I'm so glad I will have friends to hang out with, books to read, my church job and meetings, and more.

I finished a book called, "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" today, a book about prayer, and it was good. I know that praying for the right job is bigger than my job searching, because only God can get me a job. I am of course supposed to job search and do my part, but I know that it's all in God's hands as to which job I get (and don't get).

I got The Bible Project giant book, where it has drawings of each book of the bible, and the text about the explanation of it all too, like a commentary without too much confusing stuff. I'm going to read one each day, so 66 days worth. Today I read the Genesis one.

Someone asked me how I was going to celebrate ending my job, and I'm not doing anything tomorrow night, but Saturday I'm going to have lunch with my friend Kaylene who I only get to see twice a year, so that's a celebration! And then since we're meeting halfway, and it's 45 minutes from me, I'm also going to get Krispy Kreme donuts on the way home since it is near where we are meeting. That's a great celebration day for me! :-)