I quit

I'm not one to give up or quit something very easily. Persistence, determination, and addiction are in my blood. But I learned in high school that your greatest strengths are often your greatest weaknesses.

It's a strength when I can sit down and edit pictures for hours on end without distraction and I love it. It's a weakness when I watch TV or play a computer game or scroll through facebook and other social media for hours on end.

It's a strength when I love someone with all that I have. It's a weakness when it's not returned but I continue anyways.

It's a strength when I am volunteering, planning, and serving. It's a weakness when I become judgmental of others who don't have the same pace a me, or who come up with good ideas but lack the initiative to put it into action.

It's a strength when I get deep in to studying the bible and just keep going. It's a weakness when I get addicted to some type of junk food and eat too much of it.

It's a strength when I'm working towards achieving a goal. It's a weakness when I get so caught up in whatever I'm doing that I go to bed way too late, don't get enough sleep, or sleep through my alarms the next morning.

So here I am to say: I quit. Ironically, it will take persistence in quitting things for me, not one that comes naturally or quickly, but one where I really have to try hard. I quit binge watching TV or playing computer games. If there's a time when I can play or watch with moderation, cool, but if it starts to get out of hand, I'll cut it all out again. I will quit giving so much love to people who aren't going to return it, because I'm looking for someone who fully returns it. I will quit judging people as much as humanly possible for their lack of speed or lack of planning or lack of following through. I will quit eating so much junk food simply to satisfy my taste buds for the few minutes that I'm eating it. I will quit staying up so late that it affects my sleep or my getting up process.

The weird thing is, short term or in moderation, those things are ok. (Except for the judging part.) They make me happy. They are human nature to do or like. But in the long run they are harmful. In quitting, it's the reverse - I'll be unhappy right now, but hopefully it will pay off in the long run.