Starbucks' regulars

Regulars at Starbucks... some people of which I do know their real names, and some I do not, but we call them other names to identify them, either by the drink they always get or something that describes them.

"Do you know ______'s drink?"
Why can't you just tell me what the drink is? Sometimes I don't know because they just change it up, or if I say yes and they drive on, I don't have enough time to put it in the computer/ register. So no, I don't know your drink. And sometimes I legitimately don't know because other people know it, and I never hear it being said, so I just forget. There's a few of these that come though a lot.

The creepy red truck guy
He comes in to order and then sits in his truck for hours, or sits in his truck for hours and then comes in to get coffee. Maybe he's just stealing our wifi and doesn't want to come inside and be distracted by people and doesn't want to go home because somebody there gets on his nerves. That's not really what makes him creepy. He has this intense, squinty eyed look when he looks at me, as if he's peering into my soul, and doesn't break eye contact the entire time. He sometimes says, "I haven't seen you in a while," just because I've been in the back doing dishes when he's come in or something.

Ninja turtle guy
He's about my age, bald, and intense. He usually says his drinks at the drive thru really quietly and then speeds off, without us knowing what he said until we look out the window and see who it is. He remembers people's names but is so intense and socially awkward that it makes us uncomfortable.

And a banana guy
I think he has some kind of mental disability, but no one knows what it is. He says his drink(s) at the drive thru box and often says, "and a banana" and then drives forward without us being able to ask any questions or repeat his order back. He seems pretty happy, but rarely speaks. He comes through multiple times a day sometimes. Not many people buy our bananas, but he goes through them pretty regularly.

Miss ________
She's 85ish years old (she's said before, but I forget), has curly white hair piled up on top of her head, and she is a sweet old lady. She likes all of us baristas and sometimes talks to other people in the café, so sometimes she hugs us or tells us stories about her life. She's encouraging and funny. She told us to call her "Miss" and then her first name.

Hey! I'm going to be best friends with everybody who works here.
Ok, we don't call her that, we call her by her name, but I don't know another way to describe her in those bold words. Anyways, she only started coming a few months ago, a freshman in college, and full of energy. She sometimes brings friends or her sister with her. She comes in almost every day, and sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes she just talks to us, all the baristas, or other people in the café, and if she comes through drive thru she doesn't want to use the box, she just pulls on around to the window so she can talk to us in person. It's funny though, how you can see the same people every day and not know much about them.

Good looking yoga seminary dude
LOL! Again, not what we call him because we call him by his name. And he might be reading this some day in the future, but maybe not. Anyways, he has been coming since January, sometimes just 2 or 3 days a week, and sometimes almost every day. He is a yoga instructor, is in seminary, and talks to everybody. Sometimes he does a lot of his homework at Starbucks, and that's usually the plan, but sometimes he just ends up talking to lots of people. He used to announce his coming and going with an air horn sound on his phone, then switched it to elephant and laser sounds, but as of late the sounds have ceased. He and I talk about life, God, and random questions of the day. More than any of our other regulars, this one is my favorite (yeah, I get to pick favorites as a barista, don't tell anybody), and my friend.

Ex-baristas
Oh yeah, I worked with you once, but because you treated me like crap, you're not getting free drinks now that you quit. Sucka! Other ones, sure I'll give them free drinks sometimes or discounts. Sometimes I enjoy seeing people I used to work with (that I was friends with), but others I would be ok with not seeing ever again. Oh well, such is life.

"Two unsweetened ice green teas please"
Usually it's the wife who comes through every day, but sometimes the husband comes, and sometimes both of them come. I know them outside of work, they are my friends, but my coworkers only know them from Starbucks. They have said to me, "Those two are seriously the nicest people I've ever known." I like to chose friends like that. :-)

Can I have a refill?
No. You have to pay for the first drink and then stay here and then get a refill. You do not get to bring in your cup from last week or yesterday or this morning and just get free coffee or tea. And stop trying to break the rules or say that you're entitled to it or that starbucks is too expensive or you're broke. If you stay in the café and come get a refill, cool. Otherwise, no. And don't flip out at me when I'm following the rules. Stop asking.

The "for here cup and middle marble loaf" lady
She wants to have her drink made in a mug to stay in the café, but have the mug heated up with hot water first so that when her drink goes in it it doesn't get cold fast, with silky foam on top. She wants the middle marble loaf piece because the top gets to dry or might be dry, on a plate, with a fork and a knife. Along with her specifications on her drink and food, she asks nosy questions and then apologizes for asking nosy questions, but, how do you reply to that unless you say, "I'd rather not talk about that,"? Awkward.

The hipsters
We used to have a TON of teenagers sit outside every day and night, drinking mostly a million refills of water, smoking, and leaving trash all over the place. "Hey, I know you're busy, but I need 7 waters." They once backed up their pickup truck to our store and sat on a sofa without legs on their truck. Yeeehaw! They were rude and used up all the chairs outdoors. They sometimes got into physical fights, and got on everybody's nerves. Thankfully, since this summer when Starbucks made a new rule that you have to be 25-30 feet away from the store to smoke, they have all gone away! Now normal people get the change to sit out there and we don't have to clean up after them anymore. It's fantastic.

The old man who drives fancy cars
Rollin in the dough at an old age! He drives crazy expensive cars, works at a car dealership, always buys a lot of stuff, has a British accent, and tells us about how he once sold a car to someone famous. He's always been polite and nice, although I have heard a few weird stories about him. Well, at least he's normal to the baristas, even if he isn't as normal to the other customers.

The beautiful, immature model girl
Maybe she was a nice person, I didn't get to know her personally, and I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she was 18 / a freshman in college and has a lot of growing up to do. However, she was skinny, bleach blonde hair, lots of makeup, beautiful, skimpy clothes showing as much as she could, and flirted with all the guys. She in turn got free drinks from the guys I worked with for a while and that ticked me off. She got all the attention when she was there, and she always acted like she was in control of the room in a sly kind of a way. I only had a few conversations with her personally but I could tell that we were opposites in every way possible.

Bffs come together
Ok, they probably aren't bffs, but they come together a lot, so I'm calling them that. Two girls in their twentys come pretty often, but sometimes they come by themselves too. Sometimes they do homework or sometimes they just talk. They always say they wish they had our headsets so they could know if we're talking about them or what is so funny when we're laughing about something someone said who isn't in hearing range of them. But trust me, headsets aren't that great. I enjoy talking to them sometimes about stupid boys, or other random things.

No filter old lady
She has asked me before, "Why are you still working here?" "Do you have a boyfriend yet? No? Well what are you waiting for?" Wow! Really? As if I had a choice on either of those.

"This isn't right"
No matter how exact we try to make some people's drinks, there are at least three women's drinks that come to mind that usually hand it back after taking a sip or swirling it around  and looking at it. Not enough cream, too much cream, not enough foam, too much foam, etc. We expect them to hand it back, and give fist pumps if we make it and they don't pass it back.

There are more, but those are just a few.