Facebook

I have a friend who has a facebook but no wall, no info, and doesn't let you see any of his pictures. He only has it to keep up with other people / read their stuff, but he posts nothing of his own. This boggles me. I have other friends who have no facebook at all. This boggles me even more. But a lot of my friends just post once a month or so, and I still don't understand that. I post often and when I ask myself why, I can't pinpoint it. I know part of it is because it invovles things I love: pictures (posting them and looking at others), my closest friends and family (some of which live far away or I never see), writing sometimes, and it allows me to get people's opinion on things. Sometimes I wish some people would post more because I never see them.

So I stop and ask myself questions now and then trying to figure out why I am so quick to post on facebook. Because sometimes I think, "Hey wait a sec. It's not fair that some people know all this stuff about me and my life, but I know nothing about theirs." Or I wonder if I annoy people. Or I wonder if some people would actually take the time to talk to me in person to catch up instead of just reading my facebook and that being enough for them.

I ask myself: Do I feel the need to impress people? Not really. I don't portray my life in an only positive light on facebook or any different than I am in real life. I have friends who I'm real with and don't need to "impress" them. Do I feel like I need the positive confirmation of people's comments and likes to feel better? No, I have great friends and see them often in person. Sometimes I want people to know things that I know they won't ask about or don't know to ask about, but not often. Is it simply a habit that I can't get out of? Maybe...but I was like this with xanga and myspace too, always on, always posting. It's not just because I'm bored because it's been years. I got a xanga when I was 15, so it's been 8 years of social media. Is it something in me that God just PUT there? I know that different people are kind of "ocd" about different things....like hobbies or video games or cleaning. My dad can watch TV and nap for hours. My mom can sit at her craft table and make cards and crafts for hours. My brother used to play video games and read for hours. I am often on the internet for hours (Pinterest, googling stuff, reading articles, facebook, e-mail, etc) and facebook is a large part of that. So maybe I'm just kind of "wired" to enjoy it more than others. It makes me think of the game "The Sims" because when you create the people, you choose what their hobbies or interests will be. So you could create a person to be very relational or very intellecutal for example. Haha.

Is it bad to post often on facebook? Sometimes I feel like it is, but again I can't pinpoint why. I dont' put ultra private stuff on there or air dirty laundry. I don't say things like, "I'm so fat" so that people will post a bunch of nice things about me. In reverse, I don't look at other people on facebook and think it's bad that they post a lot - I like watching videos that other people think are funny, reading quotes people found, looking at their pictures, etc.

I think the moments that frustrate me are when someone has kept up with my facebook or we message back and forth, and then in person they don't really talk to me, as if they've heard all they wanted to know and that's all they care about. Then I want to stomp my foot and say, "Hey! That's not fair, just because you think you know what's going on in my life doesn't mean you DO. Or just because we sent a few messages back and forth doesn't mean you know all there is to know and now you don't have to talk to me in person." So in that way I feel like relationships are cheapened sometimes by facebook. That you don't ever have to speak to a person, but you know a bunch of stuff about them. THAT makes me not want to post.

As far as time goes...."Have you spent as much time on your face in prayer as you have on your facebook?" This was said by a speaker I watched on a video during our young adults' retreat. My prompt answer in my head was, "Well, no. I spend hours during the day on facebook, and even if it's not sitting down at the computer for long amounts of time, it's all day on my phone in lines, in waiting for my drink at starbucks, in waiting for something to heat up in the microwave." Even during times when I was not unemployed, I was still on it a lot. Is Facebook another tool that Satan uses to distract me and pull me away from time with God and the bible? Yep. He also uses it to make me jealous and discontent in the sense that I scroll through my news feed to see day after day that my friends and people my age and younger are getting engaged and married and haiving kids....people are traveling to foreign countries for fun or on mission trips or the beach or cruises when I am stuck at home.... It's rare that I look at someone's home or material items and want them, but it's more about the places people go and the things in life they have such as a husband or that they love teaching. While I know there are good and bad things in EVERY stage of life, it is still hard to watch others in places I want to be in right NOW. But then there are probably people who view my life as where they wish they could be too. Maybe they have young kids that prevent them from having fun and getting together with friends, or full time jobs on top of that which prevents them from feeling they have any friends. In my case I have lots of free time and friends, but no money and no job.