I have a new job! Money, Starbucks, friends, plans

News flash! I have a new job! It is at Starbucks! Gasp! I was only a receptionist at the aerobics place for one day....but I'd only get 6 and a half hours a week there, whereas at Starbucks I will be around 20ish and then work up. Three of my closest friends worked at Starbucks - one was there for 4 years - and they loved it, but said it was hard as well. I'm nervous - I want to do well, not be stressed, and learn everything quickly. I know I'll meet lots of new people. When they asked in my first interview if I could multitask well, she said, "Oh wait, you work with little kids so I'm sure you can!" Ah yes, agreed. Teaching IS multitasking. So I hope that aspect of multitasking works into this job as well.

The Starbucks I'll be working at is the very first one I went to when I was in 9th grade. It's the one where we had bible studies in the summer sometimes, and it's where I went almost every Wed and Sun nights after youth group with whoever would go my senior year. Since then I haven't gone as much because there are now two closer Starbucks (two! I know!) but I meet friends there who are about 30 min away from me down by KSU because that's the halfway point for us.

I start training next Monday. I'm glad I won't be working on Black FRIDAY! Not because I want to go shopping, but because I wouldn't want to be at any job on black Friday! I was at Lifeway Christian bookstore for two Black Fridays, and I hardly remember them at all because it was stressful and busy! I haven't been out for any other black Fridays.

I am still on the mends from my wisdom teeth being out. Last night I had scrambled eggs and cheese, and tonight I had home made mac and cheese with hotdogs, so I am slowly eating more foods. I wonder when I'll be able to eat normal? And I still have to do the saltwater rinse after I eat everything. It makes me nervous because tomorrow I'm going to Starbucks with a friend and I will have cold coffee, but I won't have the saltwater rinse after, so will the sugar be bad for it? I probably won't get anything, just to be on the safe side. Or I'll get some right as I'm leaving so that I can rinse my mouth out when I get home. Which STINKS because then after I eat or drink anything good I have to then leave a saltwater taste in my mouth, blech.

Soooo I'm thinking about going to Haiti? But I don't know when. With my loans being defered til May now (except one that I decided to start paying on now), and Kenya in July, I'm not sure when I would go. It means I need to work as much as possible and SAVE as much as possible to think about it. The funny thing is, besides food, Starbucks is what I spend too much money on. So now I'll get a free drink when I work which will save me money! haha! Too funny. Because other than that I only spend money on food and some random items like shampoo and such. And gas. Ok so the reason I've thought about Haiti is because this guy I know is going for 3 months at a time and then coming home for a little bit and going back again....indefinitely is his plans. He was at church last night and his parents even said how they can go to Haiti 4 times before they're able to go to Africa. So it'd be cheaper, and I've always wanted to go to another country besides Kenya for a mission trip, and it'd be cool to go there and help him. So, this is my sort-of goal for the next year. On top of that I'd love to go visit my aunt, uncle, and cousins in Washington State again - I've only been once and it was 2 and a half years ago. I hate how I hardly ever get to see them.

I want to start saving for moving back out again at some point, and paying for things that my parents currently pay for. As I have big plans for the money I will make, I will also be making under minimum wage because Starbucks has tips that they split up depending on how much you work... so I know that it will be a SLOW and long process of saving up any kind of money.

Maybe I can convince my friends to talk on the phone more / use skype instead of meeting me for dinner / Starbucks... :-) It would save gas money and whatever I would spend out.

Pictures and wisdom teeth

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning. The laughing gas did NOTHING for me. The anesthea took a bit but worked. I slept a lot yesterday and today, and it's been a ridiculous amount of work to do everything I'm supposed to!! Yesterday I had to take the pain meds every 4 hours, change the gauze in my mouth every 30 minutes, put ice on for 30 minutes every hour or so. Today I didn't have to have the gauze in my mouth anymore because the bleeding has stopped and I've been able to eat soft solids (jello, yogurt, etc), and have to take antibiotics 3 times a day, pain meds when needed, wash mouth out with salt water (8 oz of it!) every two hours and after I eat, wash mouth out with medicine rince twice a day, still put ice on for 30 minutes but not much because I haven't had any swelling, and to top it off I still have a bit of a cold so I'm taking some decongestant meds when I need it too. Boooooo. However, I've been so glad I haven't felt much pain. Just been really hungry and thirsty. Oh and yesterday and today I couldn't stand long or I'd get light headed.

I put all my pictures I ever take and upload them to snapfish because it's free and there's an unlimited amount of space so I've done it for years. About every 6 months I order my favorites from that time and put them in albums. I didn't realize it had actually been 16 months since I last ordered pictures, so I uploaded and ordered pictures from the past year and 4 months. They came in the mail yesterday and I love to hold these pictures in my hands! I mean it's nice to see them online, but when they're printed sometimes they're so clear and bright and I love it! I'm going to have to get a new photo album since I ordered 360ish pictures. Some from my cell phone camera are also SO CLEAR that it's awesome! That was the highlight of my weekend. :-)

Things I'm Thankful For

Thanksgiving isn't until next week, I know, but I'm posting this early because I just want to. :-) None of this is in any kind of order. I know that some people are posting things on facebook that they're thankful for each day, but I'm throwing mine all in together at once.

Things I'm Thankful For
1. My friends overall. This past year I've made some great new friends and grown closer to past ones and I'm so thankful for them! They were answers to many years of prayers!
2. My parents - they are great, I enjoy talking to them, they are supportive, they are letting me stay at home again until I get a full time job
3. My brother Chris - he finished high school with honors in May and started college in August. He joined a fraternity and got elected as the secretary (which starts in January). He is smart and will go far.
4. That I finished college. It kind of felt like 10 years but it was only 5.
5. Ambient, our young adults' church service on Sunday nights - it started in January so we're coming up on a year of it running. Todd and Bobby give great sermons, the music is great, and I like it on Sunday nights because that means I get to sleep in or work on Sundays when I find a job and still be able to go to church.
6. Wed night bible study with NWCC - although we are small, I enjoy it! :-)
7. Thur night bible study with North Star - love going!
8. Bryan and Lee Ann Barton for letting us have bible study at their house on Thursday nights, sharing their kids with us :-), and leading us.
9. Tracy, Joy, Mel, Tiffany, Jacinta, Marissa, and Catherine - I'm thankful for seeing you each week at bible study, for sharing your lives with me and listening to mine, and for our girls nights. I love all your hugs and smiles and prayers!
10. Nathan, Rachel, and Marc - I'm thankful they invite me to things, for the game nights and movie nights, Zumba, and our other random adventures!
11. My iPhone. It's fantastic. I love the free games that keep me entertained in long lines like Wal-mart and the grocery store, that I can check my facebook and e-mail anywhere, that I can take pictures quickly, and the many other things that I can access at the touch of the screen!
12. My laptop, camera, and kindle.
13. My car
14. Electricity, running water, shoes on my feet, food, heat, air conditioning, clothes, washer and dryer, dish washer, a good house, flashlights, umberellas, a bed, jackets, blankets. While I often take these for granted, I am often reminded by pictures of Kenya that this is a luxury.
15. God allowing me to go to Kenya. I am thankful for the money that comes in when I go and for the support everyone gives.
16. Louise Mell - for her prayers, her e-mails, our lunches, and our friendship
17. Kaylene! She is a friend that has lived life with me the past 4 years through so many ups and downs for us both. I am thankful for our starbucks times, long messages, and they ability to make me laugh and encouragement to push through anything.
18. LaJauna Ellis - we are "new friends" but I am already so thankful for her and look forward to more dinners in the future!
19. Books. For those of you who don't like to read, man you're missing out! The fiction books put you into other worlds and you read from eyes of someone as if you were them. Non-fiction books give you such great advice and enriches your life with Christ
20. Writing / journaling
21. The talents God has given me
22. God who loves me, Jesus who died for me, and the Holy Spirit who lives in me
23. Jackie Traster - I learned so much from her through student teaching but am also so thankful we've kept in touch. She is so important to me.
24. Kelly Newton - we've been friends for 12 years and while we are busy, we still keep in touch. I'm thankful for that.
25. That I had a summer job
26. My grandparents - all four are fabulous! They live in NC and MD. They are funny, caring, and loving.
27. My Aunt Wendy, Uncle Bill, Emily, and Carly - Not only are they so sweet and awesome, they're also good looking too! :-) I'm so blessed to have them as family because that means we will forever be in touch. They live in Washington, but I hope someday we get to see each other more frequently.
28. Dillon, Mona, Staton and Ansley -my dad's cousin and his family in NC. They are such a great family and I had a great time visiting them 2 summers ago. They have big hearts and are family I always love to see!
29. Meredith Pitts - she has been a great friend over the past year or so and I have enjoyed our starbucks / lunches / dinners!
30. All things chocolate
31. Pictures
32. Good TV shows
33. Ellyjoy, Pauline, Humphrey, Daniel, and others who take care of the kids we sponsor in Kenya, for helping distribute food, for loving the kids, for washing their clothes and showing them the love of God. I'm thankful that there are people here who are able to give money, and people who are there who are able to give love. It takes both.
34. Medicine to stop pain and help us feel better
35. My GPS for helping me not get lost everywhere I go
36. Retreats
37. Starbucks, food places I like to eat, Swift Cantrel Park, bookstores, cabins in the woods/ mountains

Facebook

I have a friend who has a facebook but no wall, no info, and doesn't let you see any of his pictures. He only has it to keep up with other people / read their stuff, but he posts nothing of his own. This boggles me. I have other friends who have no facebook at all. This boggles me even more. But a lot of my friends just post once a month or so, and I still don't understand that. I post often and when I ask myself why, I can't pinpoint it. I know part of it is because it invovles things I love: pictures (posting them and looking at others), my closest friends and family (some of which live far away or I never see), writing sometimes, and it allows me to get people's opinion on things. Sometimes I wish some people would post more because I never see them.

So I stop and ask myself questions now and then trying to figure out why I am so quick to post on facebook. Because sometimes I think, "Hey wait a sec. It's not fair that some people know all this stuff about me and my life, but I know nothing about theirs." Or I wonder if I annoy people. Or I wonder if some people would actually take the time to talk to me in person to catch up instead of just reading my facebook and that being enough for them.

I ask myself: Do I feel the need to impress people? Not really. I don't portray my life in an only positive light on facebook or any different than I am in real life. I have friends who I'm real with and don't need to "impress" them. Do I feel like I need the positive confirmation of people's comments and likes to feel better? No, I have great friends and see them often in person. Sometimes I want people to know things that I know they won't ask about or don't know to ask about, but not often. Is it simply a habit that I can't get out of? Maybe...but I was like this with xanga and myspace too, always on, always posting. It's not just because I'm bored because it's been years. I got a xanga when I was 15, so it's been 8 years of social media. Is it something in me that God just PUT there? I know that different people are kind of "ocd" about different things....like hobbies or video games or cleaning. My dad can watch TV and nap for hours. My mom can sit at her craft table and make cards and crafts for hours. My brother used to play video games and read for hours. I am often on the internet for hours (Pinterest, googling stuff, reading articles, facebook, e-mail, etc) and facebook is a large part of that. So maybe I'm just kind of "wired" to enjoy it more than others. It makes me think of the game "The Sims" because when you create the people, you choose what their hobbies or interests will be. So you could create a person to be very relational or very intellecutal for example. Haha.

Is it bad to post often on facebook? Sometimes I feel like it is, but again I can't pinpoint why. I dont' put ultra private stuff on there or air dirty laundry. I don't say things like, "I'm so fat" so that people will post a bunch of nice things about me. In reverse, I don't look at other people on facebook and think it's bad that they post a lot - I like watching videos that other people think are funny, reading quotes people found, looking at their pictures, etc.

I think the moments that frustrate me are when someone has kept up with my facebook or we message back and forth, and then in person they don't really talk to me, as if they've heard all they wanted to know and that's all they care about. Then I want to stomp my foot and say, "Hey! That's not fair, just because you think you know what's going on in my life doesn't mean you DO. Or just because we sent a few messages back and forth doesn't mean you know all there is to know and now you don't have to talk to me in person." So in that way I feel like relationships are cheapened sometimes by facebook. That you don't ever have to speak to a person, but you know a bunch of stuff about them. THAT makes me not want to post.

As far as time goes...."Have you spent as much time on your face in prayer as you have on your facebook?" This was said by a speaker I watched on a video during our young adults' retreat. My prompt answer in my head was, "Well, no. I spend hours during the day on facebook, and even if it's not sitting down at the computer for long amounts of time, it's all day on my phone in lines, in waiting for my drink at starbucks, in waiting for something to heat up in the microwave." Even during times when I was not unemployed, I was still on it a lot. Is Facebook another tool that Satan uses to distract me and pull me away from time with God and the bible? Yep. He also uses it to make me jealous and discontent in the sense that I scroll through my news feed to see day after day that my friends and people my age and younger are getting engaged and married and haiving kids....people are traveling to foreign countries for fun or on mission trips or the beach or cruises when I am stuck at home.... It's rare that I look at someone's home or material items and want them, but it's more about the places people go and the things in life they have such as a husband or that they love teaching. While I know there are good and bad things in EVERY stage of life, it is still hard to watch others in places I want to be in right NOW. But then there are probably people who view my life as where they wish they could be too. Maybe they have young kids that prevent them from having fun and getting together with friends, or full time jobs on top of that which prevents them from feeling they have any friends. In my case I have lots of free time and friends, but no money and no job.

I I So As Something. (The first words in each of my paragraphs.)

I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday morning (Friday), but Tuesday I started getting a cold. So Friday morning I had a stuffy and runny nose, a very sore throat (no voice), and a small cough. (Oh, and cramps becuase I couldn't take medicine in order to not get nautious with the meds they were going to put me to sleep with. Yeah, I can't spell that word and I'm not going to try, ha.) I felt terrible. So I decided to put it off til next Friday. Today my throat doesn't hurt a much but my cough is way worse. So I'm glad I waited, but kind of wish it was just over.

I also wonder why my nose is able to produce so much junk so fast?! I used a whole kleenex box on Thursday and Friday, and then a whole one today!! It's insane!

So I've found many fun games on my iphone for free, and I love them! I remember seeing people with things like psp or small handheld game players and always thought it'd be fun to own one and even considered buying one about a year ago....but now the games on here are like having one of those! It's fun. :-) Plus there are so many creative games that just the way it works amazes me! Especially with it being all touch screen and not a controller like I used to play on with playstation when I was younger.

As the holidays approach, I wish there was something at Thanksgiving and Christmas we really did that made it feel like those holidays. All of our extended family lives far away so no one comes for Thanksgiving, and my grandparents from NC come down at Christmas, but we don't want to give gifts this year because 1- we're all broke and 2 - we don't really want anything specifically. So, I'll be thinking on it....something for everybody including my dad and 19 year old brother. That doesn't cost much or any.

Something I've come to realize is that most people have an excitement about something that's kind of nerdy/abnormal/silly/childish. And that makes me happy because I'm included. Two of my friends my age that are married love this video game they have, and the sequal came out yesterday - after waiting for two years they have been counting down the days and are stoked about their new game! Hehe. I know other people (yes, adults) who love Star Wars, World of Warcraft, musicals, Disney stuff, and me: Nancy Drew computer games (that are SO for adults - they're hard! And there's 26 of them so apparently they're popular!).

I miss you.

Have you noticed a ton of songs recently have whistling in them? It's like they all heard one song with whistling and thought it sounded good, so they all coppied them. At the same time. So when they all came out with it they said, "Aww man! Now there's a bunch of whistling songs!" But maybe it helps the bad singers feel better that they can join in a song and not have to sing.

Someone once told me, "When you get rid of something, you can't just get rid of it, you have to replace it." It's been years since we had that conversation, but I'm pretty sure it was about how I felt at a loss my freshman year of college when all my friends moved away, I no longer went to youth group so my Sunday nights felt empty, and I was trying to kick some old habits. But that one bit of advice has continued to make sense in my life ever since. If it's bad thoughts or sad thoughts, missing someone, feeling mad over something in the past....you can't just "not think about it" at will sometimes, you have to replace it with good thoughts or realize what you are thankful for. When friends drift or flat out go away, you make new friends. When you no longer serve the same way or belong to the same stuff at church, you go find somewhere else to serve in the church or find where you belong.

Sometimes people aren't "replaceable." I LOVE the people in my life right now. But recently I have really missed a few people. Well, I say recently, but it's been more of a long-term thing with more thouht going into it recently. I think it's especially hard when you think certain people will be in your life for years and years to come and then suddenly they're not. I want to say, "Woah! Hey, I thought you were going to be around for the next 10 years or so....or 50, whichever." And that loss just kind of pops up randomly in thoughts or when I'm scrolling through facebook. In relation to "replacing" things, sometimes I just can't sit and dwell about a lost friendship because it makes me really sad. I have to replace the thoughts with something else and move on.

Hmmm...I see SO many people I know every where I go, so maybe I should pray extra hard that I'll run into some of those people I miss this week and next. Maybe God will allow our paths to cross just briefly again.

God's timing. Friends, job, money, time.

In picture sense....


|               Aquaintances                | Friend zone |                   Dating              |


Guys can't stay in my friend zone. They used to.....and it ended bad every time. Now I only let them be in the friend zone if I'm considering dating them. There isn't a huge window there....once I've decided I've liked someone or not, I wait to see if the guy does anything....if he doesn't or I can tell he won't, then it has to go back to aquaintances. I think in the past year or so I've been very hesitant to even be friends with guys because they all go back to being aquaintances and I lose a friendship that I enjoyed. It usually stinks. So now I feel like I should say to a guy, "Ok well you're kicked out of the friend zone...sorry but we have to be aquintaces again" to give a guy fair warning...but instead I will just slip away silently. I read a quote on Pinterest that said, "If you walk away from a guy and he doesn't come after you, keep walking." And I it's ok because I know if God wants two people to be together, He will make it happen and if He doesn't then He will hold up the process or not allow feelings on one person's end. So it's not all about me, if I do or say the "right things," God can work in spite of me messing things up. That gives me hope.

It's all in God's timing.

Speaking of God's timing.... I need a FULL time job and more income. But God doesn't think so. I filled out info to defer my loans - which I hate because it collects more interest - so I hope that they let me defer them. I don't see how they couldn't - I make no money. Lovely. We're not rich in America - we're just all in debt.

I haven't bought a book in months. Crazy. I still buy too much Starbucks....still working on that. But sometimes I just feel like sitting my house and not going anywhere so I don't buy anything or spend gas. Just let the days pass by and not buy anything, just sitting in my house. Right?

I get my wisdom teeth out next Friday. :-(

Apparently I have to make 30 different receipies before I get a good one. Or maybe I'm just not being complex enough. I put mozerella cheese and pepperonis in rolled up crescent rolls and they weren't good. Lame.

Days are passing by slowly.....unless I'm doing something out with other people, I don't know what happens to my days. I sleep a lot. I'm tired of reading. I wonder if this is what it's like when people retire?! After working their whole lives, suddenly they are at home with nothing to do!! Well, at least they have time AND money, even if it's not much. I only have time. Only having time means you do ridiculous stuff to make time pass. Like search the internet for hours, play hours of a game on your iphone, cook random foods (but oh yeah, that costs money), write too much on everything (blogs like this, facebook, journal, e-mail a bunch of people), etc.

La la la la la la la la la la la oh the life of an unemployed person........

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Tonight I made Nutella cookies with only Nutella, sugar, flour, and one egg, as per the recepie. You only had to bake them for 8 minutes and let them cool. They were gross. So I wasted a whole jar of Nutella. Sigh. Oh well, it was worth a shot.
Work has not started yet and I'm not sure when it will? They are behind. But I am ready for a schedule... and money.

Sigh. I need new goals in life. I mean really, I've reached most of the ones I'd set up until now (except teaching which was out of my hands) and I'm not sure what goals to make that don't require money. :-) Of course traveling is always a plus, but that's money. I've learned a lot of new stuff, I have a lot of hobbies and talents... It's something I'll have to think on. I DO want to do more service projects locally and have been looking into things in Atlanta. There are people just as bad off in Atlanta as in Kenya - $3,000 isn't required to help the needy. I am also going to learn more Swahili using Rosetta Stone for Kenya next year. The sad thing is I don't get to use it much. It's easier to use it in context when you're there and ask people to translate and you repeat it instead of listening to a computer person.

The other day someone asked me how many people went on the young adults' retreat and I started off saying, "Three adults and...oh, wait, well three leaders that are 30 to 40...." Haha, you'd think after 5 years of being an "adult" I would remember that I am one.

Well, I guess I should go to bed. It's 2:14 AM and my sleep schedule is been off for the past 3 months. Oh well.