Give it to me.

Sunday afternoon I took my reading the bible time to Starbucks. I normally do it at home, but it's ok to switch it up sometimes. However, the annoying starbucks music got on my nerves so I put my headphones in, which was not actually "quiet" time... so yeah... Not going to do that a ton.

Genesis 22 - I'm familiar with the story of God asking Abraham to give his son up as an offering and what a difficult thing that was! I can't even imagine that kind of pain that Abraham must have felt in thinking, "God, you GAVE me this after TWENTY FIVE years of waiting! What is going on here?!" Was Abraham's love for his son an idol though, was Isaac #1 in his life instead of God? Or maybe not, maybe God just wanted to strengthen Abraham's trust and faith in God.

I sat and thought, what do I love the most in my life? Does anything threaten to take over the number one spot in my life? A short list came to mind. I then thought, what does it look like to "sacrifice" something in my case? Giving something up 100% or just cutting back? And as I narrowed it down... I'm going to be vague here... the most thing in my life that I felt fit the similar situation of Abraham loving his son, I asked, "God, am I way off here? Or are you asking me to give this up? And what if you don't give it back?" I wrote it down. I literally wrote the questions down to God. And let's all take a moment to laugh out loud when later that night God said, "Yep. You're right on," and things fell into place to where I had to give it up, as in God stepped in and made that decision for me and gave me no other option.

With that only being one of many reasons God said, "Nope. Give it to me," and with me logically agreeing and understanding, I still mentally stopped in my tracks. I didn't read my bible or write or anything from Sunday night until tonight. After dinner with the family for Thanksgiving, I sat in my room, about to turn my computer on, but not. I just sat. I said, "God, give me the motiviation to read the bible and pray and write. I know it needs to be done." I kept sitting for a while, wanting to just take a nap instead, but I finally wrote in my journal and floodgates opened. I processed. I prayed. I not only continued on from where I am in Genesis but also searched through other keywords on biblegateway.com. I'll just list three of them.

"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"'The Lord gave me what I had,
and the Lord has taken it away.
Praise the name of the Lord!'

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God."

-Job 1:21-22

"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." - Romans 8:26-28

 

I'm thankfkul God knows what's best for not only me but others as well. I'm thankful that He continues to love and forgive me through my failures. I'm thankful He writes a more beautiful story for my life that I could. I'm thankful He gives me some insight into His plans or reasoning sometimes instead of leaving me in the dark. I'm thankful He brings amazing people into my life to encourage me and pour love into me even when I don't tell them what's wrong and they're ok when I just say, "Just pray for me to have joy and peace," without having to give details.

 

Continuing on in Genesis, once I've started paying attention to how many times they build alatars or name rocks after a time God did something for them or spoke to them, I'm amazed at how MUCH they did that! I was talking to a friend about it last week at lunch and she said she thought about the same thing. Perhaps it's something different for everyone now, where you do something to remind yourself of a time that God answered prayer or moved in your life or whatever. She suggested drawing something, and keeping the drawings to look back through. But we both agreed we don't draw much or that well. I joked that we should find an empty field and just put a ton of rocks in it and then go write on them as we want to. :-) So, still praying about a way for me that represents that.