Crazy Starbucks Customers, episode 2

It's time for another episode of "Crazy Starbucks Customers."

Customer lady: I'll have a no dairy pumpkin spice latte.
Me: *long pause* You mean you want soy milk?
Lady: No. No dairy.
Me: Well a latte is coffee, pumpkin spice syrup, and milk. Did you want just regular coffee with some of the pumpkin spice syrup in it?
Lady: No. They made it for me the other day. It was just no dairy.
Me: *STOP SAYING THAT* *Long pause and not even sure what to say* Well, we have whole milk, nonfat milk, soy milk, and 2% milk....
Lady: Yeah, I think it was nonfat milk.
      *Face palm* That is NOT "no dairy" that's non fat!

Customer lady: I'll have a pupmkin spice latte and a peppermint mocha.
Me: Ok your total is ____
Lady: No, today is the buy one get one free of the holiday drinks.
Me: Yes, but their only for the Christmas drinks. The pumpkin spice latte is not included.
Lady: I CALLED up here and they said it counted! And they did it for me at the other starbucks!
Me: *stands there silently waiting*
Lady: This is f****** stupid. It's f****** ridiculous. I guess all starbucks are different.
Me: *they're not* Yeah, maybe.
Lady: *drops 10 more f bombs and finally changes her order and walks away muttering under breath.
        If your biggest concern of the day is that you had to switch your drink or pay $4 for your drink, then you're in good shape.

Drunk girl: *after she orders her drinks* So are there any hot guys that work here?
Me: Uhhhh, I mean, they're ok as far as looks go.
Girl: Go through all of them and tell me what they're like.
Me: No. *and making a "that's stupid" face*
Girl: What about that one guy with the glasses? Is he single?
Coworker: Yes.
Girl: What's his last name?
Coworker: We're not alowed to tell you that.
Girl: When does he work?
Coworker: We also can't tell you that.
Girl: But I know he goes to _____ school and his major his _____....
Me: *to the customer behind her* What can I get for you?

Me: Your total is ____. *something small*
Man: *hands me a $100*
Me: Do you have anything smaller?
Man: Nope, I only have $2. *holds them up to prove*
Me: Well we just had someone come through with a $100 and wiped us out. *because saying it's a policy that we can't take $100's makes people argue and freak out so I lie now*
Man: Oh. Ok. *hands me his debit card*
         Really??!! Why?!

Two hispanic women: We want a tall latte.
Me: Ok, a tall HOT latte?
Women: Yes.
Me: Ok, anything else?
Women: a tall iced chi tea latte with no ice.
Me: So a tall HOT latte and a tall ICED chai tea latte with NO ICE.
Women: Yes.
*drinks are made and I hand over the tall latte.*
Women: No, we said iced with no ice for that one too.
Me: No, no you did not say that and I asked you like four times. *let the drivethru window close and walked away, letting someone else remake the drink and hand it out.*

Woman through drivethru: What coffee do you have?
Coworker: Thanksgiving blend which is our bold and Pikes which is our medium.
Woman: I don't want one that is bitter.
Me: *laughing out loud because she can't hear me but I can hear her*
Coworker: We can put cream and sugar in it.
Woman: But which one is less bitter?
Me to my other coworkers: I love that she said that.
Coworker: How about you drive around to the window and we can give you samples of them.
         Hahaha!

Man after he gets his coffee and it was before election day: I saw a poll the other day about Ohio being split and..... wah wah wah wah wah wah wah election wah wah wah obama wah wah Romney.
Me and my other two coworkers: *continue to clean, not look at him, not acknoweldge him*
Man: wah wah wah wah wah wah
*How can you continue talking when nobody is looking at you and clearly ignoring you?*
Me: We might be out of half and half over there, so let me know if you need some more.
Man: Oh. Ok.

Three elementary aged boys come in: Can we have three cups of milk with like chocolate powder in it? Or vanilla powder?
Me: Uhh, yeah I guess... your total is _____
Boys: OOohhh! Wait, what is that? *pointing to the pastry case*
Me: *tell them everything they point to, maybe they couldn't read well*
Youngest boy, about 6: Can I look at the chocolate chip cookies? I can't see them.
Me: *pull out the tray and show him.*
6 yr old: *reaches to get one!!*
Me: Woah! No no, you can't touch them! I will get it for you in a bag if you're going to buy it.
*they bought one*
Me: Where are your parents?
Boys: Oh they're getting their nails done and told us to come in here.
*they then take their milk to the condiment bar and make a giant mess with all the powders there and run in and out of the bathroom and bounce on the soft chairs*