Red lights

The air conditioner in my car stops when I'm at red lights. The air still comes out, but it's not at all cold. So in the summer I hate red lights more than normal. Well let me tell you about my red lights today.

On my way to church this morning I sat at a red light waiting to turn left. It skipped me. A car pulled up behind me so I thought it would go. It skipped us again. I was sweating buckets and getting mad. I was trying to decide if I would run the red light and wondered if I'd get pulled. There was no break in traffic for me to run it anyways, even if I decided to. I'm not sure how many times I got skipped, but it only turned to green when the cars pulled up and trippd the sensor across from us, going the opposite direction.

Later I was coming out of Target and wanted to turn right on red, and could have because of the lack of cars coming, but the car in front of me decided not to pull all the way up to the line, therefore blocking my way. I inched up close behind the car to get them to move forward, but they didn't. Again, my air stopped and I'm sweating and mad that the car wouldn't scoot up because it had plenty of room! Come on people!

Red lights mean stop. They don't mean you're going the wrong way. That's a totally different ball game.

But man, as I sat at that first red light this morning, being skipped, I thought, "Well, this is me. This is my life. I feel like I'm getting skipped, that I'm metaphorically sweating and frustrated, that I'm waiting for the green light and it's just not happening." But when it turned green and I made it to church on time, I thought about how sometimes it's the same way in life... when you're skipped, stuck, mad, unconfortable, and not even sure if you are going the right way, it could just be that God wants you to "go" at a certain time. It definitely could be a "no" that God is sending my way in many things, but then again in my frustration I have to remember that sometimes it just means wait.

Driving home after Target I thought, "How can I get home with the least amount of red lights possible?" So I took all back roads. Mars Hill road, County Line, Old Stilesboro... Even at a slower speed limit, I was still moving so my air was working. Again, thinking on the way home, that is also SO how I am in life. Of course I like to be on faster paced roads going 60mph or highter on interstates because it gets me where I'm supposed to be faster. But if I'm on 41 hitting every single red light, there's no good in going 60 mph. I would rather go 40mph on back roads because I am constantly moving forward. I often want to see progress and moving forward in everything I do, even if it's at a slow pace. So man...those red lights... in driving I don't turn around and go home because of red lights, but in life I sometimes do. I'm like, "Ok fine, I quit. This red light means no. So I'm not going to sit around and wait for it to turn green because maybe it's broken! And I do not want to just sit and sit and sit and sit when I could be going on some other roads that actually work!"

One month til Slovakia. As we've discussed before, spiritual warfare steps up a notch when you're doing what God wants you to. Lately some of my prayers have been more complaining to God and asking for things I want. And today I heard God say, "You're focus is a little off. Why did you go to church today? What have you prayed for in regards to Slovakia? What have you prayed for in your job?" My focus has been on other things and other people instead of on God himself, and how I can bring Him glory. If God has use for me in my job that will bring others to Him some day, my frustations are worth it. If God has me stipped down of all comforts and wants when I go to Slovakia but others come to know Him, then it is all worth it. If God says no to things I want the most because He has different plans that bring Him glory, then it is worth it.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." - Psalm 139: 23-24

"When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." - Ephesians 3:14-20