Yesterday I was at work, when I paused to look at my Facebook as the dishwasher was running. I saw something that made me angry. I yelled out loud, "NO! Oh my gosh!" My coworker was walking back to the back and heard me and said, "What?" I told her, and she was angry for me. She also yelled out loud. My brain immediately went into panic mode, and I worried about all the worst case scenarios, the "what-if"s... in that moment I became totally judgmental of this person, jealousy reared it's ugly head, and sadness clouded my vision.
I can count 11 people that I would actually wish they would post more on Facebook or twitter or blog, and that I want to know what books they're reading, what movies they like, what God is teaching them, and more. Some of them don't live around here, like my cousins, so I can't always just catch up with them so quickly. But others I do see regularly. 11 out of my 624 friends on Facebook.
Today I was reading, "The End of Me," by Kyle Idleman, and in the chapter about humility, he talked about social media.
"I introduced myself to an out-of-town guest at our church recently. We' never met before, and he said, 'Hey, I feel like I know you because I follow you on Facebook and Twitter.' Immediately, this struck me as funny. I thought, You know only what I want you to know about me. You see the danger? Without even thinking about it, we stand in front of as many people as possible and make much of ourselves."
I've read a million articles over the years about things you should or shouldn't post on Facebook, annoying habits that people don't like on Facebook, reasons why social media can be bad (although it also can be good), how it takes up so much of your time, how you can become sad / jealous /angry etc... And yet somehow I'm still on all the time. Now there are weeks that I'm on less, because I'm busy or trying to take a break from it, but it doesn't last all that long. I hear some people say, "Eh, Facebook isn't that interesting to me," and I think, "I wish I felt that way!!"
And here's the deal... As soon as social media becomes something that pulls me away from God, it's got to go. Then it's a sin. I'm not just talking about the amount of time I spend on it - that could be a factor though - I'm talking about the way it makes me feel when I'm on it. If I read things from friends that are encouraging, funny, and reading scripture, then awesome, I feel like I've gained wisdom or that I've been built up. I hope those are things I share the most. But there are a lot of times that's not the case when I'm on Facebook. I see those people who are in their second marriage and are my age, and think, "What? How did they get married twice before I got married once?" This doesn't mean all is fantastic in their life. I see people who get married quickly at 18, and have been married for the past 10 years and wonder what boat I missed. That doesn't mean all is perfect in their world. I see the people who get to travel the world or go on mission trips every single year (or twice a year), the people who love their jobs, or the people who live in fancy houses. When it begins to cause worry, stress, or anger, it's not good.
When I was at the leadership retreat this past weekend, I didn't feel the need to be on Facebook much or post much, because I was enjoying the time with the people there. It's that quote I've heard before like, "I love hanging out with people who make me forget to look at my phone," or something like that. But this week I've worked a lot, went to a funeral, and had a day and a half to just be at home doing nothing since it was Thanksgiving and we didn't have bible study, so I've been on Facebook more because I've wanted human interactions. The irony right? It's one thing to write back and forth on Facebook with someone, because you're having a conversation, verses just scrolling through everybody's lives and random articles and videos.
By someone reading my facebook, that doesn't mean they know me or what's really going on in my life. I don't often share what I want a close friend to pray for me about or what's bothering me in life or even what God is doing in my life sometimes because I don't want to just share it out there for non-believers to read if they have no idea what I'm talking about. I want that depth and closeness with the few directly around me, in person, face to face, shoulder to shoulder, not from the comfort zone of my bedroom sharing out to 600 people, of which only a handful of people will actually see it. It's worth the effort to engage in people's lives in real life and be intentional, than to quickly click post on whatever we think about or feel like sharing.
We're all at a masquerade on Facebook, displaying our beautiful masks, but hiding behind it is the faces we don't always get to see. But I can honestly say that I love the people with bedhead hair, sitting in pajamas, just sharing our hearts and not facebook statuses. I love hearing the laughter instead of reading "LOL" or seeing the laughing/crying emoticon. I love getting hugs instead of "likes" on Facebook. I love talking for an hour or two instead of just messaging on Facebook for a while. I love sitting outside watching the sunset change over time instead of running outside during work just to get a picture or two because I don't have time to watch it. I love actually praying for someone in person instead of saying, "I'm praying for you!" online. Don't settle for the false closeness of the internet and forget what it's like to spend time with people in real life.
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