Your faith is great.

I've been thinking about Peter walking on water recently, from Matthew 14. "But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink." (14:30) He was all cool getting out of the boat, and he was already walking on the water, but when he saw the storm around him, his focus was off. And Jesus asked him, "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me?"

I'm in the same boat as Peter. I see the storms. The what-ifs, the fears, the irrational thoughts, the waiting, the frustration, the jealousy, the sadness, the anger. But what I want to hear is, "'Dear woman,' Jesus said to her, "your faith is great. Your request is granted.'" (Matthew 15:28) 

I think about how we are called to persistent and bold prayers, and for me, I think, how could I NOT be persistent and bold in these prayers that are so important?? How could I live life ignoring what makes my heart heavy, what I hope for most in life, what breaks my heart, for the lost who are all around me? In the past few months I have really dug in and prayed for these things, and I have found that more often than not, when I really pray for these things, I end up crying. Sometimes sobbing. Yes, that's sometimes what makes me not want to pray for them, because I don't always feel like crying. But to ignore them is like walking away from shattered glass, hoping I don't step on it later because I didn't clean it up. It must be dealt with. And what would I miss from God if I didn't pray? 

"One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up." (Luke 18:1) I am the persistent woman asking for the same things over and over, like the woman asking the judge for an answer in Luke 18. I'm like the persistent neighbor in Luke 11 who keeps knocking at the door at midnight. "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." (Hebrews 4:16)