Run.

Today in church, the sermon was on Jonah. Our pastor, Brad, started off asking, "Kids, have you ever run away from home? Or adults, did you run away from home as a kid? It didn't matter where you were going, but it mattered what you were running from." I knew where this was going... but it was good to hear. Brad said something key - sometimes you think you're running from something in life, but you're actually running from God because you think God didn't show up or do His job when something in your life isn't going right. And let me tell you, last night I almost decided to go to another church as a result of me running away, and I would have missed that sermon. I haven't actually "run" yet, but for the past few months I've been "packing my bags" so to speak. I've been ready to run, and each week there's something that I didn't want to miss or something I needed to be there for. There isn't something God told me to do that I'm not doing, but I do know that God is telling me not to run.

Also, the whole thing about the storms is what I was blogging about some last night! Brad said how those storms aren't God's punishment or payback for what we did wrong, but since God is all love, then part of Him is mercy and sparing us from what we deserve, and part of Him is discipline, so that we will come back to Him and/or stop sinning. I feel His discipline in my life.

On a similar subject, let's talk about anger for a second. For me, I am often quick to become irritated / mad, and quick to let it pass. A customer will do something annoying and I'll be mad for a few minutes, and then I'll move on. A coworker will do something mean / annoying, and same thing. But overall, with my friends, I just don't get mad that often. Yes, there are days when I'm more prone to be angry than others, but I don't ever want to be a person who someone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around me because they never know what's going to make me mad. Currently however, I am in a situation where I have not felt this much anger in years. And I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stop it. I can fake look happy all day long, and I can still feel joy from the Lord, but currently mixed in with that is an underlying anger that affects me. Maybe the thing is, I can't do anything about it. Only God can. Only by literally sitting in silence in the presence of God will He give me peace again and take my anger away.