Whew, I am drained.

I'm not very good at remembering someone's order in drivethru if I'm not standing at the computer typing it in. I'm not great at making whip creams sometimes. I'm not good at remembering more than two tasks that need to be done, I have to be reminded because I completely forget. I'm not good at doing anything that involves muscle/strength to be involved because I'm not strong. I can't do mental math, so if something is messed up money wise, I have to pull out my phone to use a calculator.

Sometimes I'm not fast enough, not good enough, not "cool" enough.

On top of feeling inadequate at work sometimes, I am often reminded of that by my coworkers. Yes, because some of them are mean. But also because that's the way a lot of the world functions.

Being told for 37 hours a week that you kind of suck at your job is disheartening. It begins to pull you down and make you forget what you ARE good at.

I am not going to sit here and list off what I'm good at or where I feel I'm better in life than others, but it's something I will write in my journal and let my friends remind me of.

What begins to happen in turn, with my coworkers saying things that are negative to me, is that I join in when they say it to or about others. Because sometimes it's flat out true - sometimes people are annoying, but I am too. Sometimes they are careless or distracted, but I am too. Sometimes they are weird and awkward, but I am too. Sometimes they are just having a bad day and need people to cut them some slack, and I am too. Instead we get caught up in drama, micromanaging, getting stressed about stupid things, and criticizing each other.

My prayer must constantly be, "God, give me eyes to see people as You do. Give me a love for them like you love them. Give me patience with them and forgive them. Show me how to not get trapped in the destruction, but to be caring and encouraging."

I am emotionally drained at work sometimes, and feel like staying positive is like fighting against the ocean undertow. Sometimes I accidently mentally check out and start thinking about other things than being at work, but then I mess things up, so that's not always good. Words are powerful and yet we use them flippantly and carelessly. I will also pray that God gives me a HUGE awareness of the words that are coming out of my mouth, along with the ability to not let others' words at work negatively affect me.