Keep going

This past Sunday, after church a I walked to the bathroom, I was talking to God about something. Basically it was me saying, "I want to give up on _______ now. It's too hard. It's too painful. I have no idea what's going on and I just want to shut down."

When I go to the bathroom at church, for some reason I always go in the first stall. I once read an article that said most people don't go in the first stall, so it's probably the cleanest. Being that we're meeting in an elementary school for church though, that probably doesn't matter. But this time I randomly decided to go in the second stall. I walked in and turned to shut the door. But it wouldn't close. I pushed - it wouldn't closed. I re-opened it and tried closing it again - still nothing. It just stopped like a foot before it would close. I sighed, irritated, and went into the 3rd stall, which did close. I felt like God just said, "I'm not asking you to close that door right now," about the situation in my life, as he just demonstrated with that literal door.

So I haven't yet. I am choosing not to shut down. I am choosing not to give up. It doesn't make it easier. In fact, God could decide in a few months that then is the time to shut the door. I have no idea. All I know is, that right now, God said, "Keep going."

I know, it all sounds cheesy. But describing what it sounds like / feels like to hear God speaking to you doesn't always make much sense.