When I was 13, I made up my own word - quatumpulis. It means feeling a million things at once, all different feelings. Happy, sad, mad, hurt, excited, distracted, smitten, giddy, afraid, drained, cautious, stupid, silly, serious, stressed... any combination, but it would explain that feeling that is so many at once.
"Hey, how are you?"
"I'm feeling quatumpulis."
Ah, that word that I made up so clearly describes how I feel right now. The irony of that sentence is that nothing is clear about that word or the feelings it describes. So, it's ironic.
I'm stressed about finding a new car and about applying to a school for photography.
I'm excited about the thought of going back to school for photography.
I'm worried about money.
I'm sad because I miss some people and friends.
I'm happy because I have amazing friends who fill my life with joy.
I'm hurting because ____________ (yeah, I'm not writing that here).
I'm at peace because I know God's plan is bigger than mine, despite my squirming and complaining in the process.
I'm thankful for my parents who help me out when I need it, let me share their car, and love me all the time.
I'm mad when I mess up, when I get too emotional about things, or when I can't say to myself, "I don't care," and then let things drift away from my mind and not let it eat me up.
I'm drained from the monotony of work.
I feel stupid because ___________.
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