Last week I went twice in the mornings to learn how to make videos with Chris Boggess at Northstar. I watched as he talked out loud and he made a video, and then showed me the basics for me to start making one for a recap of our city in Slovakia of the videos he took and the videos I took. It's nice to work on something that is outside of work and that I really enjoy.
During my trip to Washington and in all my time of thinking, praying, journaling, etc. I know that God pointed out some things for me to work on in myself. One is that I am very emotionally driven and that often takes over when logic should instead. When I get down about something, I sulk or withdraw or shut down. That becomes a problem during times like bible study, when afterwords I just want to sit or only talk to one person, but should be talking to others. I really want to focus on other people, new people, etc. There could be others who are hurting and need someone to listen, who are new or lonely or whatever. My focus needs to shift more towards others and less of myself. I also need to have more self-control when my emotions take over, as far as my words to others and my actions to others. At work the other day a guy said my life was boring because I didn't go drinking or to bars, and that he thought I should extend my social setting and make new friends. I about threw something at him and said that his idea of exciting and fun was different than his, and began listing all the stuff I did for fun that he didn't do. I knew his words were meaningless and shouldn't have affected me, but I allowed them to and lashed out, with him staying all calm and thinking it was funny, while I finally had to say, "I'm not talking about this anymore. You aren't going to change my mind and persuade me to drink, and I don't care what you think about my life. This conversation is over." I should have said that at the beginning though instesad of allowing myself to aruge with him.
I'm so glad I am at NorthStar church now. I've always loved the young adults' bible study, it's been the best thing I've ever been to. While I remember hearing someone else say that before I went there, I didn't quite believe it until I was there. It's a mix of all ages and all walks of life, with great leaders and a great setup. I'll admit that being more of an intorvert there are weeks when I'm overwhelmed and don't feel as sociable, but it's still good overall. Helping with the 9th and 10th grade girls so far has started off slow simply because we have such limited time during small groups, but we will be getting together outside of that soon. I'm excited to get to know them more and hope that something I say sticks with them. Services are good...since there are three locations it's a little hard to know where my friends will be sitting, so when I can't find them it's kind of lonely, but during the weeks I find them it's good. :-) The music is of course good, and the sermons are too. I see how people could not like the church simply because of the large size if they weren't involved in some kind of ministry within the church or a small group/bible study though. That's a huge, huge key to church.
Work. Work? Work! A lot of times I don't feel like talking about it. There were 3 months where I worked only 4 days a week which meant less money but more free time, and then to people left so I'm back to 5 days a week. I am thankful for even having a job, thankful for some of the people I work with, thankful I get free starbucks to drink every day, and thankful that it's not hugely stressful, although some days are more than others. I still have no plans for future jobs. I just don't know.
I want kids some day, and that's a bigger reminder when I see cute babies and kids and I think, "I WANT ONE NOW" but then there are days like today when I'm glad I don't have them right now in this time in my life. I can go to Starbucks and read, write, be on the internet, etc. and just do whatever the heck I want to, haha. So, for this time being, I am trying to appreciate where God has me.
Anywho...being busy is always nice, but always slightly hard to deal with time management. Always working on it, making sure I'm doing what's important and not letting unimportant things cover up the important things.
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