Persistance

Today I played piano for the first time in a long time. I printed off some music from Adele - it has beautiful piano arrangement. However, since I don't play as much as a I used to, it takes longer for me to learn it. There was one measure in, "Make You Feel My Love" that I just could NOT get!! The rhythm was hard and the notes were too. I had to play the measure first with the right hand, then the left, then together, slow at first and then faster. Over and over again. Then I'd play two lines up until I hit that measure again to make sure I could make it flow, and when that didn't work I had to play that one measure over and over. Finally I got it. I remember having to do that a lot when I was younger, literally playing the same few notes repeatedly. Today I wondered if doing that has aided in my ability to be persistant and do the same thing over and over in other things in life (good and bad), or if it was the opposite, that God gave me a persistant nature that allowed me to learn piano better because I could repeat that same measure over and over.

Persistance. It is a word that many people have complimented me on in the way of having persistance in getting jobs, things I do at work, reading the bible with discipline on a constant basis at certain times in my life when I set my mind to it, and learning new things. It helps in friendships when we're trying to get together for lunch or cofffee because somebody has to be the one to call or text until it works out. It is NOT helpful in other situations, where I don't want to give things up. Like a game that I am trying to win - I am persistant in wanting to win! But in a lot of games online there is no "winning," it's just advancing to the next level. Or in reading a book that I'm set on finishing - it will keep me up til 3 AM or I will put off more important things to finish it. It's not helpful when someone doesn't want to be my friend anymore. It's not good when I need to get ahold of someone and they don't ever answer their phone or call back, but being persistant I continue to call. Another similar thing, not really persistance, but just doing the same thing over and over again: When I find a song I like, I will literally just set that one song or two or three on repeat and listen to it over and over.

And oh, this quality is bad when God wants to take over and I still feel the need to do it myself.

This past week I felt like I was metaphorically knocking on a door and it has been a long persistant knocking. A long time of prayer and waiting and hoping God would open this door, this opportunity, this thing in life. But I'm pretty sure I'm knocking on the wrong door. And I'm pretty sure I've known it for months. There's where the persistance is a bad thing. Perhaps in my knocking on this one door I've missed God saying, "Psst. The door you're supposed to be knocking on is down the street, come on let's go." Or I go with God and then turn around and go back to the same stinking door! As if God changed His mind. Well...He didn't! I am still shaking my head at my annoying persistance at this! I'm not even "doing" that much to make the door open because it is certainly not in my control in this instance, but I have stuck around at the wrong place. It is a hard thing to do though, to walk away.