Saturday, December 1, 2018

Long term discipline

It's hard to do anything every single day. The only things I do every day are things I absolutely have to - brush my teeth, put my contacts in and take them out, eat food, drink water and coffee. I don't wear makeup if I am staying at home all day. I don't take a shower every single day.

Even doing something every single week is challenging. Especially if it has more than one step and/or it depends on other people too. Every Monday since February 1 I have written an email to the parents of youth at church. I first type up a draft and send it to the youth pastors the day before to add or change anything, and after they reply then I send it out every Monday night. I have not missed a single week. But I've come close and sent it out at like 2 AM before because I realized it right before going to bed.

From May to December of 2017 I lost 25 pounds. I did great at keeping it off through July of this year... but then when I quit Starbucks I wasn't on my feet for 8 hours a day, and being at home means more time around the kitchen, more time to want snacks, etc. And less motivation to exercise. As well as all of the holiday food that I love, and I don't just have a sweet tooth, all of my teeth are sweet teeth!! Eggnog, peppermint chocolate chip milkshakes from Chick-fil-a, chocolate covered cherries, Reese's, York peppermint patties.... I have gained 10 pounds back since July. So, I'm in a battle to do better. But on one hand it's annoying because I'm supposed to do well for the rest of my life? Are you serious? That's a long time to battle not eating sweets! And of course carbs like bread and pasta!

This brings me to spiritual disciplines, but not specific ones, I just mean your walk with the Lord in general. There are big chunks of time where I spend a long time with God every single day. And it's great! And then there are other times when I struggle to do it. I would say it's weird, but it's not. It's normal. It's sad, but normal. I remember many years ago, one of my friends said about another of our friends, "Man, it's like he's just drinking from a fire hydrant. He just can't get enough." Our friend couldn't get enough of studying and reading the Bible, of praying, of being involved in the church - it was so good to see. But that exact phrase and mental image has stuck with me all these years. I want to be that person who can't get enough. I don't mean that God isn't enough, I mean that I want to always be learning, growing, praying, serving, and loving. I want to always be pursuing the Lord, not in a casual way, but in a way that is gushing with Living Water.

"For He knows how weak we are; He remembers that we are only dust." - Psalms 103:14

It's easy to beat myself up when I can't be as consistent as I want to be, and I even think I'm even more consistent than a lot of people. But God remembers we are weak. He sees our hearts and our desires to do well and our desires to pursue Him, even when we fail. And He also sees our lack of desires of Him, but still how that saddens us. And we just keep going. We just keep taking one step at a time. We keep trekking this journey.

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