Going back to Kenya

I am going back to Kenya in 3 days!! It's been 8 years since I've gone. When I went the last two times, it was like I was waking up from a long dream. That I was fully awake there. Fully aware of everything. Maybe it's because everything is literally foreign. Maybe it's because I'm not on my phone or laptop while I'm there so I'm fully present. Anyways, I'm excited, but also a little anxious. As I've gotten older, when I get too hungry, I get shaky and weak. I feel more tired more often. I need more medicine than I used to. I know, I'm only 29, but whatever, it's true. And the whole process of going through the airports and flying is also a little stressful. I hate packing, and you can't just buy something there if you forget it when you're in the middle of nowhere.

My SD card has space for 8,900 pictures. I did the math and momentarily panicked - is 635 pictures a day enough space?? Then remembered I won't be taking that many on the days I fly to and from. So I re-did the math and it was 752 a day. I also realized nobody - including myself - wants to look at 8,900 pictures from a two week trip. Ain't nobody got time for that. I think it kind of freaks me out because on a day that I'm taking pictures of an event - like a church picnic, VBS, etc - I take about 300 in two hours. However, some of those are one shot taken three times in a row in case the person blinks. Or from several different angles / zoomed in and zoomed out, up and down and sideways. So I would only actually use one or two out of each 5ish if it was of a person.

I will have access to the internet at the hotel I've been told, so I will be updating every night probably. It'll be very different than the past two trips where I could only call home every few days and that's it.

So ready to go! I've always said I would go back someday, and "someday" has arrived!

The Battle of Jericho

I don't know if you're familiar with the story of Joshua and battle of Jericho from Joshua 6, but the summary is this: God asked Joshua to circle the town of Jericho once every day for 6 days, and then 7 times on the 7th day. Then the walls of the town collapsed and the people could go straight in.

A few years ago, I felt the Lord telling me to be persistent in something, and it sounded crazy to me. One day I when I was at church on a Sunday morning, it was just on my heart and mind, but I was angry about it. I got up in the middle of the service with tears already coming down my face, and went to the bathroom. On the way, I was telling God that I quit - that I was giving up on this thing He told me to be persistent in. I told Him it was crazy, that it wasn't possible, and that I was just done.

We were in an elementary school at the time, and I went into one of the stalls to close the door behind me. But it wouldn't close. I looked at the hinges of the door and nothing seemed to be holding it up. I pushed again and again, instead of just going to a different stall. And then I felt like God said, "I'm not asking you to close that door," meaning the situation I was telling God I wanted to get out of, and the clarity of it stopped me in my tracks. And then the bathroom stall door closed with no problem. It was weird / awesome.

Like I said, it's been a few years. And I'm still metaphorically marching around Jericho. And on days I sit and wonder if I'm still on the right track, I go back and read all the times I felt God speaking, guiding, directing, and leading in this one area, and am amazed at the multitude of times He spoke. So I encourage everyone to write things down more often, look back on things more often, and listen more often.

Kids and babies!

I was going to share this after I got back from Kenya, but decided to share it now instead.  

Over the past few months I’ve been spending time with my friends with babies and small kids. One thing I hear all across the board is that they have this little human to take care of constantly – or more than one – and sometimes they’re just tired! (Or always?) 

At this point in my life, I’m pretty up in the air about having kids. Not that it’s anywhere in my near future anyways. If I was to never have kids, I might be ok with it. If I had one kid, I’d also be ok with it. If I had two kids, or even twins, I’d be ok with it. If I only adopted, I’d be ok with it. I am not really too swayed in any one direction right now. I love kids! But I could also see myself not having any. I know, it’s weird and hard to explain. 

If I never had kids though, I think it would be cool to be a married couple that could have foster kids spend the night because their current foster kids went out of town and couldn’t take the kids with them. Or my friends’ kids could stay the night if they are little and both parents are super sick and are having a hard time taking care of them. Until then though, I also want to help out where I can! In the past, I’ve gone over to someone’s house to just help sort and put away all the kids’ laundry and clean up the kitchen. Other times I’ve just played with the baby while the mom took a much needed nap. And sometimes the mom’s are like, “I just want conversations with an adult instead of a toddler/baby!” so we go to the park or hang out at their house or go to Starbucks and just catch up, and it’s meeting a different kind of need. Another time when a mom was sick and didn’t want to load up the kids and go to the grocery store, I went by and got her food and drinks since her husband was at work. 

The trick is though, a lot of women don’t really ask for help, maybe because they don’t know who to ask and don’t want to be a burden, or they have asked and someone couldn’t do it, or just think they’re supposed to be super mom. I don’t know all of the reasons, since I don’t have kids myself. But I want to be someone who people can ask for help! Specifically, I’m telling you, if you have babies and little kids, I want to help you! Message me or text me or something. I do work 10-6 most days, with my normal off days being Thursdays and Sundays, but I have other random off days too. It could be something semi-regularly like every other week or once a month, only when you’re sick, random times to catch up, or just when a need arises.