COMMUNICATE

You know what's great? Communicating. You know what's not great? Just deciding to be silent when someone else is trying to communicate with you. Oh, we're all busy, we're all distracted, we all have reasons as to why we don't feel like / don't communicate. But we live in a world where communicating a simple response is easier than it has ever been in the history of the ENTIRE WORLD. So I don't feel like hearing the excuse that you can't type in the words, "Sorry, I can't be there," or "Yep, sounds good to me!" or "I'm not sure yet - I'll let you know." See, I just typed all three at one time! You don't even have to have a solid yes or no - that's a totally different subject - just responding that you aren't sure yet is fine until you can decide! Oh, but no, that's too hard.

Should we just stop texting, e-mailing, and communicating on facebook and go back to calling each other on the phone or showing up at somebody's front door? Calling would still be too "new" of a way to communicate, maybe just sending some snail mail instead.

When people just decide to not communicate for no good reason at all, it makes me want to quit trying.

And to those people who actually DO respond, especially in a quick amount of time, you are high up on my list of people I respect.

End rant.

Fight or flight... or be still.

Our body has the response to either fight or flight. Both physically and mentally. It's so true. But the hardest part for me, is doing neither. Being still, and being silent.

Example one: When someone is saying mean or criticizing things. I either want to stand up for myself and show people they can't just walk all over me, or I want to literally leave the room / conversation. I don't want to listen to it. But there are times when I have to stand there and take the punches without getting the chance to fight back or walk away. I just have to listen to their rudeness. And do those people feel like they're entitled and that it's ok to be rude when I just say nothing? Probably. But that's for God to deal with them. When I'm at work, I can't fight or flight. I must stand still. Now, there are times when both actions are called for, but I'm saying in general, I have to stand in silence and let them beat me up. Fun times.

Example two: A few years ago there was this guy I liked, and part of me wanted to be around him all the time, talk to him, text him... fight for him. Because I liked him. The other part of me wanted to run from him like he was the plague, because I didn't want to hurt, and I knew that I wasn't supposed to be the pursuer in the relationship. But I worried that in "running the other way," it would squelch any chance of him liking me someday. The hardest thing was to do neither. To be still. To respond according to his actions, but not get my hopes up. To be nice and polite, but to guard my heart. Instead of doing any of that gracefully I looked like a person running back and forth from one side to the other, fighting sometimes, running away the other times, and it was ridiculous.

Example three: General problems in life. Bad days at work, arguments with people, feeling stuck in a season in life, whatever. The "fight" in me wants to make plans to improve things, read books about it, do something to make the bad thing go away. The other part of me wants to ask off for more days of work so I can hibernate in my room and read book and watch Netflix, go on trips to Washington to see my extended family, or max out my time with friends and happiness to balance out the bad. In reality, sometimes God says, "You are where you are for a reason. I am with you through this. You can't 'fix' it, and you can't run away from it. Be still and know that I am God." If you asked someone, "What are you problems?" their list would likely be long, and it would be an immediate response. And "sitting" in them doesn't seem like a good idea. But oh, it's what we must do sometimes. Yes, sometimes we're called to change jobs, change churches, or move. But sometimes we aren't.

Thankful

Most of my time in prayer is spent with me asking God for things. For myself, yes, but for others as well. Sunday mornings are times that I feel like I worship the most through song, and throughout my day I say thank you to Him as good things happen, like, "Thank you that things are slow tonight!" "Thank you that everybody has been in a good mood!" "Thank you that I woke up in time and wasn't late!" But I think where I am lacking in my "conversation" with God is spending time remembering His amazingness, and praising Him for who He is, unconditionally.

Whether I'm have a good day or a bad day, whether I'm happy with my job or not, whether I feel happy or sad, whether I am sick or healthy... God is good. His love for me is unconditional. His plan for my life is still good. He is still working in my life. And so, I want to praise Him equally no matter the circumstance.

Today I skipped church to sleep 17 hours straight, only getting up to go to the bathroom, drink water, and take medicine. I have had no voice since yesterday and really hope it comes back by Tuesday morning for my new job. I'm excited but nervous as all getout about my new job that starts Tuesday. I want to be THE BEST! I want to learn quickly! I want to impress them! It's surreal that I've got this photography job because I really just thought I'd be stuck at an office job as my next job, and I'm nervous that somehow they will say, "It's just not going to work out for you to work for us." I can't let that fear get to me. I'm so excited that some of my best friends had a baby today!! I can't wait to hold him!! Not knowing how my schedule will be with Starbucks and my new job over the next few months makes me anxious because I want to be at my accountability group, the leadership retreat for my bible study, etc. and I have no idea what I will be doing yet.

I love the quote I read a year or so ago in a book that says, "During tough times, emotions are not reliable. Scripture trumps feelings. God is near whether you sense His presence or not." - Max Lucado. I wouldn't say things are "tough" right now overall, I just think this is a good quote for ALL emotions and circumstances!

God made all things. He didn't mess up. His plan for all of time is perfect. He makes beautiful things out of messy things. He is the author of miracles not only in the Bible but today as well. He orchestrates things in perfect timing, not one red light or flat tire or slow driver getting in His way. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives inside of me! The Holy Spirit in me is what convicts me, guides me, intercedes for me, whispers to me, and comforts me. He knows when I sit and when I rise and He's known me before I was even born. He forgives me over and over and over again. He shows me new things in scripture even when I've read the same thing tons of times. He gives me peace and joy in the middle of stressful things. He has brought amazing people into my life to be there for me and live life along side of me.

What a glorious God we serve.

You too?

I remember being at a time in life where I thought I had to change things about who I am or what I liked or my quirks, in order for people to like me. But the older I get, the more I realize I don't have to do that. And it's fantastic. Because I listen to other people share their quirks, things they enjoy doing that isn't the "norm," and be just exactly who they are, and I love it. And when someone shares something and I feel the same way I'm like, "AH! You too?" whether I say it out loud or not.

I'm not talking about improving upon yourself, setting goals, and growing as a person. That's different.

When you get far more criticism from someone than not, run the heck the other way. Nobody needs their life scrutinized or told that they should change themselves when it's not based on a problem / sin, but on a personality trait.

Hi.
I'm Jennifer.
I like to play video games and computer games.
I write a lot. I also take a massive amount of pictures.
I like metaphors and similes. I also like using emoticons and funny stickers on facebook.
I stay up to crazy hours of the night and sleep in to crazy times as well.
Reading/books, journals, and chocolate are like my kryptonite. Can't leave a bookstore without buying a book.
I'm a picky eater, but I try a lot of things, I just don't like the taste.
I like to be early everywhere I go.
I like to go all out and over the top for my birthday, for things I'm working on, and other random things.
I keep in touch with tons of people all the way back Kindergarten.
Going to Kenya was one of the best things in my life.
I like bright colors. And dancing at weddings. And swings.
I have tons of letters and cards saved up all the way back to elementary school.
I don't really like shopping. I'm a speed shopper, I just want to get what I went for and leave.
I'm all about cheesy humor and cheesy jokes, play on words, and slapstick humor.
I get excited about lots of things, big or small.
I have a really good memory. In some cases, it's a terrible thing. Other times it's great.