Well, two weeks later and we're hit by another snow storm, worse than before! At least this time it happened during the middle of the night so people were already home. I did work yesterday, from 1-8, but not today. The ice came down and it wasn't pretty - hardly any snow - and then later this evening when I didn't even know it, the snow poured down. I looked outside around 2 AM and everything was covered in snow. I don't know how long we'll be "stuck" in our houses, but I'm ok with that. :-) The only thing I don't like is that I'm "supposed" to work on Friday night, and by that point it will still be a questionable thing if I can / should leave the house or not. Sigh. I AM sad that I have to miss bible study tomorrow night, but it seems like a lot of things have postponed bible study since August, so I'm kind of used to it sadly.
So! Today I slept late, read some of a new book I got on photography, had coffee with hot chocolate in it, played a computer game, ate white chicken chili soup that was so great, wrote in my journal, read some, and was on facebook. Oh, and took a nap. No work tomorrow, and no real "plans" yet.
FAFSA hasn't been sent to Portfolio Center yet, and the financial aid lady said that timing could be an issue now... what?? Why does it take 6 weeks or so in order for them to say, "Yep. You're poor. Here's some loans." I don't understand, and I hope it goes through in time. I'm nervous about it.
For the past few weeks, I have been praying, "God, please align my heart with Yours. Let my desires be what Yours are, and change my heart where I am wrong or wanting the wrong things." And there have been moments, small moments, where I felt it. Where I thought, "Oh." And I try to keep these small moments in mind because they are a bigger picture of God's direction. And what so often gets in the way are my emotions, which are up and down like the tide sometimes. There are times (mostly once a month) when I cry so hard over something that normally wouldn't make me cry. There are times when I'm so mad at everything and everyone, even when someone is trying to be nice. There are times when I think, "No, this is too good to be true... somehow I wont get enough money to go to Portfolio Center or do anything more than work at Starbucks, and I will never get married or have kids. So I might as well just die now," and my fear swallows me whole. And I think to myself, "Do I trust God's timing?" Well yes, but that doesn't mean I'm always happy about it. That doesn't mean I don't still ache and cry over it.
I also had an interesting thought the other day. I think every girl wishes she were prettier, or "beautiful." We all want to hear it but maybe we don't hear it much, and we always see girls that are drop dead gorgeous or "hot" and hear other guys comment about them. And I feel like all the pretty girls get married first, or are always in a relationship. But then I thought... maybe because a guy is so quickly attracted to a girl's look but she could be a jerk or drama queen or crazy person, they end up breaking up faster or having bad relationships. They probably get lots of guys asking them out and on one hand that seems lucky, but then they might have had 10, 20 boyfriends and carry around a lot of baggage. They get the guys who don't know them for who they really are, and only ask them out because of the way they look. They also get creepy guys hitting on them. So, I would rather a guy take the time to get to know me and then ask me out, and not have creepy guys hit on me, and not have 10 boyfriends before I get married. Am I the lucky one, for not being super hot then? For looking average? Because then I won't just attract guys who only think I'm pretty, but who really get to know me? And while it will take longer, it could be a better thing.
And that concludes my random thoughts of the night, live from Georgia, surviving the snow storm part two of 2014. Next Friday: 70 degrees.
No comments:
Post a Comment