A year later

 A year! This is the least I've ever written on this blog in 13 years. But who else has had a blog for 13 years? Yeah, nobody that I know. 

Health - I got covid at Christmas, and have had long-covid ever since. I had an infected cyst on my tailbone that I had to have drained in March and it was the worst pain I've ever had. 

Work - I've made a lot of new work friends and have lunch with a group of them almost every day in a conference room. Others that I've been friends with before, it has been good to see them again every day. I won an admin award in December for my immediate organization out of 9 admins, and I'm nominated for an award for the admins of the whole country's company (not sure how many) that gets anounced this Friday! Even if I don't win it's cool to be narrowed down to the top few. 

Church - I've been there for a year and a few months now. Since I live 45 minutes away from it though, it's hard to be there / serve more consistently, and like most people in life, everybody is either extremely busy or have babies/toddlers and so it's hard to connect with people. 

House - dang, what a miserable MARKET! I am saving a lot, but not at a place to buy yet. I always feel close, but it's a pain to wait. 

Bible study - My friends started a nonprofit a year and a half ago, and part of that is a Bible study called Roots. I've been going to the same Bible study for 12 years (minus 2 in the middle there), and most of the people have changed except for a few that remain the same. It's ever evolving (and we are ever aging), but it's still a blessing in my life. 

Friends - There's a large category of people now that I miss deeply. The ones I used to do ministry with, live my life with, share everything with, or at least spend quality time with them frequently. I know that some friendships just aren't for life, but to me it often feels like a death. Some of those people moved away, but others just... disappeared. I hold hope that someday our paths will cross again, or that we'll be back in each other's lives again later. For example, two couples in my bible study currently were in my lives for a long time around 2010-2015, and then they went to different churches and I didn't see them much for years. And now I see them every Thursday again. 

Trips - I went on a vacation by myself in October because nobody wants me to go on vacation with them, so I went alone. I'm mixed between feeling deeply sad and also deeply grateful. I stayed in a tiny house - the same model as the one I wanted to buy but will now never buy. It was surreal. I went to a great tiny town in the North Georgia mountains, took beautiful pictures, visited new coffee shops, watched Gilmore Girls at the tiny house, and had a great time. Alone. It would be nice to be married and travel with a husband at least, but I'm not going to live a boring life leading up to that. I also went to NC with my Mom to visit my grandparents who I haven't seen in years. Not a vacation, but it meant a lot to them. 

I just turned 34. Things I've learned this past year - or at least became better at actually doing it even if I knew it before: 

-It sometimes feels awkward to put forth love and friendship to new people, and you never know how they're going to respond. But a lot of people are thankful that someone took the risk on them. 

-Some people, even if they're awesome, don't have time for friends in their life. Either emotionally, or in their schedule in life. It doesn't mean they don't like you, it means they just have no space for you in their lives. The earlier you realize that about a person, the easier it is not to try. That feels like the opposite of the above, but there just has to be a healthy understanding of which category a person can fall in. I've asked people at my church for a YEAR to get together, and they never have, and so I am not going to ask them anymore. 

-I took the last 6 months to "do less." Serve less, have less commitments, have a lighter schedule, and mentally rest. It has been great, and needed. I have needed the margin. I don't want to be that person living life so fast and so full that I don't have time for other people or if I get sick I end up letting a million people down or my anxiety is so high but I can't stop to get it back down. "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry," by John Mark Comer is a book I highly recommend on this. Not only does it do well for our bodies, but also our relationship with God.