Thoughts from my trip

Instead of going through everything I did on my trip to Washington, I'm just going to write about some thoughts I had during the trip.

I hate stick shift cars. I've never driven one, but have ridden in a few, and it's too jerky. My cousin Carly has a stick shift. It's also messing up where it pops out of 4th gear when you're just driving along - scary!

Although the idea of inviting everybody I love to my future wedding, the whole wedding process and the amount of planning and money put into it is sounding less and less appealing. The older I get, and the more weddings I go to (which, I counted 15 weddings I've ever been to), the smaller of a wedding I want. And pretty much no food - is a "bring your own picnic" reception acceptable? :-) Or perhaps I'll just have family in a tiny room, and like two friends, and that will suffice.

My cousins, Emily and Carly, really like their shoes, clothes, jewelry, and makeup to match and be extravagant. They curl and or/straighten their hair in ways I don't know how, and put product in it that I didn't know existed. I only have like 4 pairs of shoes, I can't wear jewelry because I'm allergic to metal (and although I've had beaded jewelry before, I'm just not a huge fan), I only put minimal amount of make up on and I feel like it comes off fairly quickly, and most days I just brush my hair and walk out the door. I only have one thing I use to get some of the frizz out when it's bad, or I will straighten it every now and then. It takes them a long time to get ready to go somewhere... and it takes me like 15 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I love to get dressed up and look good sometimes, but it's not at the top of my list of things to do. I would rather spend my money on books than on shoes.

Sometimes the slow, ordinary times are my favorite times. For example, one morning after breakfast, I got my coffee and sat outside on the back steps, and the weather was beautiful. I just sat there drinking my coffee and thinking. On Saturday night after we got back from the wedding it was about 7:00. My aunt and uncle and I had pizza and ice cream, and watched gymnastics on TV. Another time was when I helped Carly bring in boxes and stuff into her new apartment, and I sat on her messy bed while she put clothes away, and we talked. Then we sat on the sofa in the living room when her now-husband Simeon got home from his Bachelor camping trip to listen to him talk about what they did. These are beautiful to me.

I have no idea what will make me cry sometimes. Until I'm crying. I don't normally cry at weddings. At my friend Katie's wedding, she was crying through the whole ceremony, and I knew all that she had endured up until that day, and I ended up crying through the entire thing too. At Carly's wedding, I didn't cry until Emily stood up to give a "speech," and said, "I've never given a speech before..." and started crying. And crying. And then finally said, "Carly has always been my best friend." And she kept crying. So, I was just crying right along with her. And for me, it's like I either tear up, or streams of tears are going down my face, and then the next step is sobbing like I twisted my ankle or something. So, there's only like 3 stages of crying for me.

Things I tear up about (no tears actually fall, or like one or two do): moving moments in a movie, when someone else crying, some weddings

Things I cry about with streams of tears: once a month for at least once time because I'm PMSing, when I'm really mad, some weddings, coming home from mission trips, sometimes during worship song when I'm emotional, after some bad days at work

Things I sob about: when I get hurt (like when I fall down, sprain my ankle, or fall down/up the stairs), once a month at least once because I'm PMSing, when something crazy happens like my car dying or quitting a job on a bad ending or someone trying to steal my dad's tire when I was home alone, realizing the end of a dream or long term goal that didn't work out