I don't really like making New Year's Resolutions because a year is too long to make a goal for usually, and they're too quickly forgotten and often too ambitious. But I am making goals now that I will revisit often and change them as a I need. A friend asked me about 2 months ago what kind of goals I had right now, and I realized I had none. It makes life kind of stagnant without them. There are some that are personal goals that I'm not listing here, but some I am sharing. I hope that in doing so it will spark some ideas for your own goals, and to be a reminder that goals aren't always set to be stressful or unattainable, nor can you ever fully "reach" some of them since it's an ongoing process. Also, in writing this out it is good for me to come back and read it again throughout the year.
I don't want to waste my free time. I don't want distractions to dominate my life. I want to hear God when He speaks to me. I want Him to use me to reach unbelievers. I want Him to fill my heart with joy and peace even when I go through bad days, when satan fills my head with lies, and when circumstances in life feel unbearable. I want to "fix my eyes on things unseen." I want to know Him deeper, to sin less, to flee from sin quicker, and to bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit.
I want to love so that "they will know we are Christians by our love." I want joy to brighten my face so that people ask where my hope comes from. I want peace to rule my heart. I want patience to be stronger than my temper. I want my kindness to be what helps me to give freely without selfishness and encourage others to do the same. I want goodness to be prevalent in my life, where evil and sin are scarce, and I win more battles than I fail. I want faithfulness to God to be deeper than ever - trusting in Him, not letting worry or anxiety to linger or distract me from Him. I want gentleness to be in everything I do - not harsh words, not anger, not annoyance, not being short with people. And lastly, I want self-control in my life to use my words carefully, to be disciplined in my walk with God, to not give into temptation, to get off the internet more often, to not waste my time, and not waste my thoughts.
To gain those things, I have ideas of how to better use my time, and it will be an exciting journey. Jesus was not born into a dangerous and sinful world and sentenced to death so that I could spend my life online, being sad about my job, or letting fears consume me.
"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." - John 10:10
What is a rich and satisfying life? I think it's when the fruit of the spirit are dominant in your life, when you are close with God, and when you don't waste your life. Our purpose is to be Jesus to everyone, everywhere, in whatever season of life you're in.
I have made a list of books I will be reading soon, videos to watch on Christian speakers talking, and other edifying things to put my time into. Besides good things to read and watch, a few other things I'm working on...
- Plan my week on Sunday nights. Be specific with my free time.
- One day a week for an hour, job search.
- Eat better. Seriously. I mean it. Look up healthier foods and recipes, and figure out what to bring to work since we don't have a microwave.
- Take some online photography classes
- Plan more specific times to be on the internet, what I'm going to do on there / for how long, and then get off.
- Go new places. A coworker told me about a smoothie place near KSU, someone told me they have the best biscuits at a place called Stilesboro Biscuits, go to some coffee shops in Atlanta, go to the park more often to walk and/or read books
- It's been 3 years since I graduated with college and I've held on to ALL teachers supplies and books and lesson plans that I thought I'd use. It sits in boxes and filing cabinets in my house. But in the next few months, I'm giving it away.
- Plan specific times to read the bible, pray, and read Christian non-fiction books (as I mentioned above)
- Be intentional with the people in my life as far as getting lunch/dinner/coffee, ask how I can pray for people more often, and use my time with people to have real conversations instead of talking about the weather or something
Friday, December 26, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
Today
Maybe I'm getting better at shutting off emotions. Maybe I have found a way to replace the things I don't want to feel, with something else more practical. Maybe I've learned not to get my hopes up.
Maybe the best thing I can do is to get through something without feeling it. It seems to be less painful.
Some days though... some days I'm not strong enough.
Today, I am not strong enough.
Maybe the best thing I can do is to get through something without feeling it. It seems to be less painful.
Some days though... some days I'm not strong enough.
Today, I am not strong enough.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
King of Kings
There's this game on Facebook (that can also be played on your phone) called Candy Crush. It sounds like a stupid game. It's not. It's fun...but addicting. The same company made another game similar to it called Candy Crush Soda with a similar concept but different rules. There are unending levels to this game, meaning that they continuously make more levels. Hundreds. Hours. At some point, if you get stuck and just have to move past a level, you can use real money to get things like more moves or special items to help you win the level. And while it's only 99 cents to $5 at a time, it starts to add up. And suddenly you check your bank account and realize you just spent $30 in two days on a stupid game.
This company also makes a lot of other games, and clearly they are doing well. I used to play Candy Crush so much that I deleted it because I was on it too much and spending too much money. And then when it had been about 6 months of not playing it, I thought it'd be fine to play the similar game to this, Candy Crush Soda. I'm in the same boat. I had to delete it.
A few days ago, before I deleted it, as I waited for it to load, the company's name showed up on a screen of it's own for a moment, and somehow, after the massive amount of time I'd played these games, I didn't know the company's name. It was, "King." Talk about a punch in the face. King - reigning over me. Controlling me. Putting this feeling in me of an inability to walk away from this game.
Jesus is called the King of Kings a few times in the bible, and "King" many other times. God is also called King over and over again. "Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you." - Psalm 5:2. I can just imagine satan laughing at the idea of this company being called King and knowing the distraction, addiction, laziness, wastefulness, and lack of good time management this company would produce through these games. "The time for judging this world has come, when satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out." - John 12:31. Satan is described as the ruler of this world... but far from a king. He is the ruler of all things that pull us away from God. And may our eyes be opened to that. May we catch it quicker, fight back harder, repent sooner, and flee faster.
This company also makes a lot of other games, and clearly they are doing well. I used to play Candy Crush so much that I deleted it because I was on it too much and spending too much money. And then when it had been about 6 months of not playing it, I thought it'd be fine to play the similar game to this, Candy Crush Soda. I'm in the same boat. I had to delete it.
A few days ago, before I deleted it, as I waited for it to load, the company's name showed up on a screen of it's own for a moment, and somehow, after the massive amount of time I'd played these games, I didn't know the company's name. It was, "King." Talk about a punch in the face. King - reigning over me. Controlling me. Putting this feeling in me of an inability to walk away from this game.
Jesus is called the King of Kings a few times in the bible, and "King" many other times. God is also called King over and over again. "Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you." - Psalm 5:2. I can just imagine satan laughing at the idea of this company being called King and knowing the distraction, addiction, laziness, wastefulness, and lack of good time management this company would produce through these games. "The time for judging this world has come, when satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out." - John 12:31. Satan is described as the ruler of this world... but far from a king. He is the ruler of all things that pull us away from God. And may our eyes be opened to that. May we catch it quicker, fight back harder, repent sooner, and flee faster.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Because I'm happy... clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do
I just saw this article that has 7 questions to bring happiness closer. It obviously lacks God, but with Him included by own decision, they're good questions...
1. What can I be thankful for?
-My friend Christina came to visit me at work today and I got to talk to her on my last ten minute break
-Taking pictures of some friends for their Christmas cards went well yesterday, and I have more coming up soon!
-Everything Christmas is great!
-My parents, for listening to me, for buying me poptarts when I didn't have time to get more, for hugging me when I still smell like coffee (they don't like coffee), and for a roof over my head
2. Who do I know that loves me?
-My parents
-A LOT of friends from church and bible study
-A few friends from my home church
-My friend and coworker Nichole
3. What progress have I made?
-I have had my DSLR camera for 9 months, and have grown in my photography, and also gotten a lot of jobs since then! I started out with everything being free, but now I'm up to the point where I can charge money and people will pay!
-My job used to stress me out so much that it was messing with my health, and my mental sanity! I have learned how to better manage my stress at work which sometimes just means letting things go faster and saying, "Ok, it happened, and now it's over. Letting it go now."
-Maybe I'm learning how to let go of people more too. It's a huge weakness of mine, letting people I love go. I'm trying to remember that most people in life aren't "friends for life," and I try to appreciate the time I got with them and then move on. I'm also trying to balance what it looks like to keep in touch with people. I used to try to keep in touch with everybody all the time and was sad when it wasn't returned, but I can't balance that many people in my life anyways.
4. What contribution do I bring?
-I hope that my pictures bring glory to God. I also hope they bring people happiness and good memories, as well as a new perspective on things sometimes.
- I give people coffee! Coffee fuels a lot of people, and without it we'd have some pretty angry people out there! (Even more so than they already are!)
- With being on leadership with my bible study, I hope that I am hoping other people grown in their relationship with the Lord, am able to encourage them, and help them go spread the gospel to others.
-I try to use my money to help others when I can. I am helping a little girl in Kenya to have food and a bed and life. I'm helping a friend live in another country to spread the gospel there. I help give money when there are families in need from tragedies or medical problems. I want my little bit of money to reach other people to bring them closer to God, and to bring those who don't know Him into heaven!
5. What pursuits bring me the most joy?
-Photography
-Writing
-Reading
-Singing
-Friends and family
-Reading the bible
-Praying and spending time with God
6. Who can I help?
I mentioned a bunch of ways I help people above! But I'm always on the lookout for more.
7. What choices do I have?
-I'm still job searching. Being at Starbucks for 3 years is 3 years longer than I thought I'd be there. I have the choice to look harder and more often.
-I have a choice not to be on the internet/games/tv for so long, and make better use of my time. I am in control of my time, I do not have to feel like I just "fall" into whatever I'm doing.
-I have a choice to pray throughout my day at work.
1. What can I be thankful for?
-My friend Christina came to visit me at work today and I got to talk to her on my last ten minute break
-Taking pictures of some friends for their Christmas cards went well yesterday, and I have more coming up soon!
-Everything Christmas is great!
-My parents, for listening to me, for buying me poptarts when I didn't have time to get more, for hugging me when I still smell like coffee (they don't like coffee), and for a roof over my head
2. Who do I know that loves me?
-My parents
-A LOT of friends from church and bible study
-A few friends from my home church
-My friend and coworker Nichole
3. What progress have I made?
-I have had my DSLR camera for 9 months, and have grown in my photography, and also gotten a lot of jobs since then! I started out with everything being free, but now I'm up to the point where I can charge money and people will pay!
-My job used to stress me out so much that it was messing with my health, and my mental sanity! I have learned how to better manage my stress at work which sometimes just means letting things go faster and saying, "Ok, it happened, and now it's over. Letting it go now."
-Maybe I'm learning how to let go of people more too. It's a huge weakness of mine, letting people I love go. I'm trying to remember that most people in life aren't "friends for life," and I try to appreciate the time I got with them and then move on. I'm also trying to balance what it looks like to keep in touch with people. I used to try to keep in touch with everybody all the time and was sad when it wasn't returned, but I can't balance that many people in my life anyways.
4. What contribution do I bring?
-I hope that my pictures bring glory to God. I also hope they bring people happiness and good memories, as well as a new perspective on things sometimes.
- I give people coffee! Coffee fuels a lot of people, and without it we'd have some pretty angry people out there! (Even more so than they already are!)
- With being on leadership with my bible study, I hope that I am hoping other people grown in their relationship with the Lord, am able to encourage them, and help them go spread the gospel to others.
-I try to use my money to help others when I can. I am helping a little girl in Kenya to have food and a bed and life. I'm helping a friend live in another country to spread the gospel there. I help give money when there are families in need from tragedies or medical problems. I want my little bit of money to reach other people to bring them closer to God, and to bring those who don't know Him into heaven!
5. What pursuits bring me the most joy?
-Photography
-Writing
-Reading
-Singing
-Friends and family
-Reading the bible
-Praying and spending time with God
6. Who can I help?
I mentioned a bunch of ways I help people above! But I'm always on the lookout for more.
7. What choices do I have?
-I'm still job searching. Being at Starbucks for 3 years is 3 years longer than I thought I'd be there. I have the choice to look harder and more often.
-I have a choice not to be on the internet/games/tv for so long, and make better use of my time. I am in control of my time, I do not have to feel like I just "fall" into whatever I'm doing.
-I have a choice to pray throughout my day at work.
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