I have all this stuff from student teaching as well... supplies and lesson plans and just stuff. It's sat in a bag and a box in my room since last year, because there has been no where to put it. Our basement is full - I do have a giant box of kid books I'd bought over the 5 years in college when I went to yard sales and book fairs. Beside it sit tall chairs that I had at a breakfast bar at the house I rented for 2 years a few years ago. Oh yeah - and all the stuff I had for a house - dishes, kitchen stuff, etc. The rest is packed in my room which leaves me little room to walk.
Tonight I moved the boxes and bags of what has been sitting in my room into my brother's closet. He's in college. I put some winter clothes in there too. About 30 minutes after I did this, around 1 AM, the entire shelf came off the wall, so the clothes and stuff on top of the shelf came down on top of my bags and boxes into this giant mess. It woke my parents and my dad came running out of their room. As we opened the closet doors, some of the stuff came tumbling out onto the floor.
Well that about sums up my thoughts on that part of my life! Ha! I want to keep it. I want to hope that I will use it again some day. I have a whole shelf on my bookshelf with books on how to be a good teacher, and stuff that I would use to teach. I have a filing cabinet with everything I used during student teaching and college and things other teachers gave me. All in nice files, ready to go. Not being used. But all of it... as mess. All of it pushed behind closed doors that I say I will fix later, because I can't do anything about it right now. People ask me if I would move away to teach - not unless someone went with me, no. I can't just move out into the middle of nowhere by myself, I'm not that kind of person. My friends that did move away to get teaching jobs are married.
Tonight at bible study after we have small groups we break up into girls and guys to pray. We talked about our time in waiting for the "next thing" in life. For those in college they were waiting for a career / job. For those in jobs they didn't like, they wait for better jobs. For those who are single, they wait for a husband. For those who are married, they wait for the right time to have kids. For those who are broke, they wait for more money. We all acknowledged that we are anxiously awaiting something.
At the same time, we talked about verses in the bible that say how a person who is married has as divided heart, but one who is single can put all of their energy towards God and serving Him. (1 Corinthians 7) One girl who is married said she wished she had more of that mindset while she was single, and that it's true - being married, she wants to spend time with her husband and be sure the house is clean when he gets home and stuff... and always has to keep in check that God is coming first.
With God being first in every circumstance and stage in life, there comes a peace in knowing that He is orchastrating everything in His timing.
Now, being human, we need constant reminder.
Last week I had a day where small things in their timing made me remember that God's timing is perfect down to the milisecond. You know those random things you're like, "Ha! Well that is just funny God." One day I was pulling into the dollar store and a lady I knew from several years ago and her two kids were crossing in front of me to go to their car. I didn't stop or roll down my window because of the other cars. Then like an hour later I went to Wal-mart, and the same thing happened - as I was pulling in they were leaving and crossing in front of me! When I parked I was near them and went to say hello. That same day, I was in a store and saw a woman I recognized from a previous job, and remembered her name too, but didn't know her that well so I decided not to say anything. She didn't see me. A few minutes later I was on facebook on my phone and saw that one of my friends had just then become friends with that same woman I was standing near!! Of all times for them to become friends on facebook... just happened to be when I was standing near her.
Two weeks ago I saw two women come into Starbucks, and I knew I recognized them from my home church, but didn't know their names or anything. They ordered and didn't say, "I know you" so I didn't say anything. But then I decided to after they sat down. One lady said, "Oh! Yes I know, you're Bryant's daughter! I just ran into your mom at the grocery store yesterday and was asking if you still baby-sit..." My parents and I haven't seen them in years! So for us both to see them was funny.
I've also been in the middle of a busy shift at Starbucks and I just happened to glance out the front window and see a friend's car go by that I know (and I know it was them by their bumper stickers), more than once! In that random split second I look out the window, their car drives by! I mean really! How random but funny!
I've had times where I've been praying and praying about someone, and suddenly they walk into Starbucks while I'm working or I run into them somewhere! It literally surprises me. "Oh hey, I was just praying for you. And now here you are."
I recently prayed for something specific and had to step back and say, "If God says no, will I be ok?" and I had to write about it because I needed to remind myself that it would be ok because His choice is absolutely, positively, the best. I know I'm like a child asking for bubble gum for dinner sometimes, and God knows I need a real meal that is better.
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