Me

Wrote this a year ago...
I read something that someone wrote that was describing them, and it was just interesting to me. So I wanted to do something similar.

You know those overachievers who people talk bad about, because it’s obnoxious or because it makes everybody else look bad? Well sometimes I am one of those people. I over-aim, try my best, and seek perfection. However, I am not a perfectionist. I don’t care if I cut a piece of paper and the lines aren’t straight, or if I don’t fold a piece of paper in half to the exact line. My room is messy, but I know where everything is. I have too much stuff. I have more clothes than will fit in my drawers and hang in my normal sized closet. I have more books than fit on my bookshelves, so they end up piling on the floor and I lay some books horizontally on top of the books already on the shelf.

I’m a sentimental person, so I keep letters people give me (unless it’s like a generic birthday card) and have kept them since I was 9. So I have shoeboxes full of letters from tons of different people. I have things all over my room from other people that remind me of people: a seashell, a tiny figurine, a build-a-bear, a small plastic piano, gel pens that no longer work, a prom picture from 2006, and necklaces from Kenya that hang on my wall.

I like to plan ahead, but it rarely happens the way I plan it. I have big goals and dreams and always have. I’ve felt like I’ve always been anxious to grow up. I always wanted to move out of the house, travel, be a teacher, be a wife, be a mom… I have lists of things I want to do in life. I like lists. I like checking things off lists too if it is that type of list. I’m early most of the time, unless it is early in the morning. I’m a night owl. I’m on the computer too much. I like helping people with computer stuff though when they're confused about something. I’m bad at goodbyes and try not to be. I’m even worse at letting people go.

Ironically, in all my rush to grow up, I plan on spending my life working with kids. I enjoy doing “kid” things – coloring, swinging, watching kid movies, playing video games, and am easily amused by many things. I’ve been told I notice things that most people don’t, whether it be something interesting in stores, on the ceiling, in movies, etc. I like bright colors, but I also like black and white designs on clothes, purses, my laptop cover, etc.

I think I am the absolute mix of a follower and a leader. I’m great at both (in my opinion). Sometimes I really like to “follow,” copy someone else, not be in control. But in other ways I like being the leader. It really depends. I also think I’m right in the middle of being an introvert vs. extrovert, but slightly more introverted. I’m quieter to begin with or if you don’t know me well, but if I’m around people I already know then I’m not like that. I’ve learned the hard lesson (many times) that you don’t choose who you fall in love with, and you can’t just decide not to like someone anymore, no matter how much time passes or how far away you live. I hardly ever watch TV. I hate scary movies/horror movies – I will not watch them.

I want to go on a cruise some day. I want to go back to Islands of Adventure and Disney World. I also want to visit other countries some day. I’ve watched as the negative traits about me when I was a child develop over the years, but the root problem is the same. I always want to look like I have it all together. I don’t like to cry in front of other people. I love hugs. Although I think it’d be nice to get Lasik done so I didn’t have to wear contacts or glasses, it scares me! So I don’t know if I’ll ever actually do it. I remember names and faces like you would not believe!

I often wish that my everyday life was lived more for God. I feel like weeks go by where I’m too busy, too distracted, and too tired to serve God or be a witness, and sometimes it’s frustrating. I love to sing. I got “most talented” for a senior superlative 5 years ago. Sometimes I have huge discipline and self-control in certain areas, and then pretty much none in other areas. I kind of go to 2 churches. Plus another (third) church's bible study (I go to two). :-) Long story. My trips to Kenya are something I literally think about almost every day, and sometimes have to remind myself not to talk about it all the time to everybody else.