A few random thoughts

The thing is... you don't know when the people around you won't be around you anymore. Whether it be from death, moving, changing jobs, growing apart, an argument, people being too busy ... So I constantly try to take time to appreciate people in my life and not take them for granted. It's not a constant fear of losing people, but a constant awareness of limited time with people in life, and trying to make the most of it as well as telling them I am thankful for them.

 

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Sometimes I think about the amount of time I spend playing games like Candy Crush, or being online or doing random things, and think of what a waste of time it is. But besides reading books and stuff, what else would be a more beneficial use of my time? Right now I'm in a bit of a limbo because I am no longer helping with students at church or helping with videos because I switched churches, so I'm not sure where to serve at the moment, or where to give of my time. Will I look back on this time of my life and regret how much time I wasted? If so, what will I wish I would have done more of?

 



 

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I like writing and taking pictures and remembering good times and making things beautiful. Life can be full of monotony, frustration, and pain on a day to day basis. But I try to make a conscious effort to find what is beautiful anyways. Sunsets, clouds, the changing colors of the leaves, flowers, friendships, texts and messages from my friends, hugs, laughter, silliness. Not only does this search for beauty make life better, it also becomes more natural over time. Someone at work said to me once, "All sunsets are the same. Why do you go out and take so many pictures of them all the time? They're not like snowflakes where each one is different." My mouth dropped. "What?! Yes they are all different! They're all so pretty!" I pray that my eyes will never stop seeing the beauty of creation and God's hand in life.

Remember?

Sometimes it's the little things that bring back memories. Sometimes they pop up unexpectedly. Sometimes they are beautiful, sweet memories, and other times they are bitter ones. I go places, see things, hear things, and it's like the memory surfaces without my saying so. Will they fade away over time? Will it be years from now? Yeah, I think so.




Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Anything Star Wars. Game of Thrones. Lifeway. Books with tons of questions in them. Snapchat. Skype. Ted Dekker books. "You are the sauce on my spaghetti." The sound that facebook chat makes when you get a new message. The Town Center Mall food court. Taco Bell. "What's up? And don't say the sky." Chick-fil-a. Menchies. Family Force 5. The Cray Button song. Anberlin. Kari Jobe. Natalie Portman. Watching the ball drop on TV on New Year's Eve. The game Risk. Reeses.

Be real.

Broken.

Let's just all put down our boxing gloves, shall we? You messed up, I messed up, we all messed up. We all fall down. Daily we all mess up and say stupid things and do stupid things.

Things that don't help: talking bad about somebody to others, saying mean things to a person, ignoring them and refusing to speak to them, abusing any kind of power you have over that person, manipulating someone... the list could go on.

Sometimes, we all feel alone.

Sometimes, we all feel like scum.

Be honest. Be transparent. Be real. Don't judge. Don't stereotype. Don't make assumptions. Don't be negative. Admit when you're wrong and when you messed up. Admit when somebody else is right. Communicate. Use your words. Forgive someone even when they don't deserve it and even when you will never hear them they say they are sorry. Love someone even when they are rude to you - all the time. Don't get revenge. Reach out to someone when you are broken, don't do it alone. Don't let someone use you or walk all over you - know when to get away. Sometimes people just want you to listen.

If You Want Me To, by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reasons why you brought me here.
But just because you love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet.
So if all of these trials that bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire if you want me to.

And it may not be the way I would've chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.

(Recorded this video in March 2012)