Things I'm Thankful For
1. Spotify - free music!
2. TV shows I like that I can watch on my laptop
3. My laptop
4. My iphone
5. Chocolate / candy
6. My car
7. I have a job
8. Katie, Heather, Sean, Kyle, Jeremy, Mandi, Katelyn - coworkers
9. My parents
10. BOOKS
11. The Bible
12. Northstar Church
13. Bible study
14. SO many people / friends at bible study, far too many to list!!
15. My camera
16. Learning things about shooting and editing video
17. Helping teach the 9th and 10th grade girls
18. Facebook, twitter, youtube, blogger, pinterest
19. GOD
20. My extended family who is awesome
21. Being on the action team with my bible study
22. Lunches, dinners, and starbucks with my friends amongst our busy lives
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Distractions, lies, wrestling
There are things in life that are black and white - wrong and right. Unfortunantly satan still attacks in those ways where we clearly know something is wrong. No doubt. But he also attacks in ways that are less abrasive but just as dangerous.
Recently I read a book called, "Hearing God," by Dallas Willard, and it was good. Now I'm reading a book called, "You're Made for God-Sized Dreams," and it's also really good. And in the MIDDLE of me reading these books, I have 1. fallen asleep when I didn't really mean to, 2. suddenly wondered if there were youtube videos of people in tornadoes and yes, there were, 3. just got lazy and didn't feel like reading anymore, 4. decided to go eat instead, 5. got on facebook instead, 6. probably a bunch more things I can't remember. It was a sudden disinterest in the book, not because it was boring, but because I just got distracted and other things stepped in the way. Or sleepiness suddenly hit me like a brick. And all those things kept me from reading it.
OR instead of being physically distracted I was mentally distracted. Suddenly all the lies in the world pop into my head - that God won't answer my prayers, that I will never get what my heart desires, that I am not good enough for certain jobs, that I'm wasting life away working at Starbucks, that helping with the high school girls hasn't actually reached any of them, and that there's something wrong with me for whatever reason I'm thinking of right then. Like a wave of depression or hopelessness I get sucked into the idea that other people in life will get what they want and desire, and I will never get those things. That I will never hear God, that He won't use me, and that I won't be important - just floating through life without a purpose.
There are things in life that I have no control over and can do nothing about. Nor can anyone have real advice for me. And in those things it can only be God who gives me ideas, points me to things, brings things to me, or acts in a way that I cannot. I think that when God finally does act in those areas, there will be no doubt that HE did it, and ALL glory will go to Him because I won't be able to say, "Yeah, I did it," or "So-and-so told me."
I thought of the story with Jacob wrestling with an "angel" or God or whoever it was, and how he said he wouldn't let go until God blessed him, and then He did. Me and God, we're wrestling. I am fighting with knowing what to pray for, wanting to give up praying for things, and not being sure what I'm supposed to do in anything. Sometimes it's a fight to not just shut down, and sometimes I do. This morning during the youth time, the middle school youth pastor referenced to a butterfly breaking out of its' cocoon, and how if you helped it, it wouldn't be able to fly. It has to struggle to get out in order for its' wings to fully develop and then fly. Perhaps that is me. Perhaps God is saying, "Keep on because when this is over, you will fly." Not that He's just sitting around watching me struggle, but that He knows what's happening and lets it happen.
Recently I read a book called, "Hearing God," by Dallas Willard, and it was good. Now I'm reading a book called, "You're Made for God-Sized Dreams," and it's also really good. And in the MIDDLE of me reading these books, I have 1. fallen asleep when I didn't really mean to, 2. suddenly wondered if there were youtube videos of people in tornadoes and yes, there were, 3. just got lazy and didn't feel like reading anymore, 4. decided to go eat instead, 5. got on facebook instead, 6. probably a bunch more things I can't remember. It was a sudden disinterest in the book, not because it was boring, but because I just got distracted and other things stepped in the way. Or sleepiness suddenly hit me like a brick. And all those things kept me from reading it.
OR instead of being physically distracted I was mentally distracted. Suddenly all the lies in the world pop into my head - that God won't answer my prayers, that I will never get what my heart desires, that I am not good enough for certain jobs, that I'm wasting life away working at Starbucks, that helping with the high school girls hasn't actually reached any of them, and that there's something wrong with me for whatever reason I'm thinking of right then. Like a wave of depression or hopelessness I get sucked into the idea that other people in life will get what they want and desire, and I will never get those things. That I will never hear God, that He won't use me, and that I won't be important - just floating through life without a purpose.
There are things in life that I have no control over and can do nothing about. Nor can anyone have real advice for me. And in those things it can only be God who gives me ideas, points me to things, brings things to me, or acts in a way that I cannot. I think that when God finally does act in those areas, there will be no doubt that HE did it, and ALL glory will go to Him because I won't be able to say, "Yeah, I did it," or "So-and-so told me."
I thought of the story with Jacob wrestling with an "angel" or God or whoever it was, and how he said he wouldn't let go until God blessed him, and then He did. Me and God, we're wrestling. I am fighting with knowing what to pray for, wanting to give up praying for things, and not being sure what I'm supposed to do in anything. Sometimes it's a fight to not just shut down, and sometimes I do. This morning during the youth time, the middle school youth pastor referenced to a butterfly breaking out of its' cocoon, and how if you helped it, it wouldn't be able to fly. It has to struggle to get out in order for its' wings to fully develop and then fly. Perhaps that is me. Perhaps God is saying, "Keep on because when this is over, you will fly." Not that He's just sitting around watching me struggle, but that He knows what's happening and lets it happen.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Missing
How do you fully explain the feeling of missing someone so deep that it hurts? It's like words can't even describe it. And no one's advice or "words of wisdom" make the pain go away. The pain being taken away by God or the peace has to come from God, and only from God. But sometimes that pain just doesn't go away.
It's like when you finish a puzzle and there's a piece missing. Or you've finished baking a cake and you have no icing. But even more than a minor incomplete feeling of an unfinished puzle or cake, it's like the roof came off your house, and even as you're busy living in the house, doing things like normal, you still KNOW the roof is gone because it's cold, you get rained on, the wind knocks things over, you get sunburned, bugs and birds and squirels invade your house... What you're doing is the same, but how you feel is different. And you can pretend all day long that it doesn't bother you that the roof is gone, but it DOES. And you just pray to God that He'll put a new roof on the house soon so that things can go back to normal.
It's like when you finish a puzzle and there's a piece missing. Or you've finished baking a cake and you have no icing. But even more than a minor incomplete feeling of an unfinished puzle or cake, it's like the roof came off your house, and even as you're busy living in the house, doing things like normal, you still KNOW the roof is gone because it's cold, you get rained on, the wind knocks things over, you get sunburned, bugs and birds and squirels invade your house... What you're doing is the same, but how you feel is different. And you can pretend all day long that it doesn't bother you that the roof is gone, but it DOES. And you just pray to God that He'll put a new roof on the house soon so that things can go back to normal.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Beautiful Storm
It starts.
It ends.
And somewhere in-between
We see a beautiful storm.
You see the storm clouds
With fierce furry,
Stealing the blue skies away.
You see the lightening
Streak across the sky like veins
And the power!
Oh, the power!
Beautiful but dangerous.
The thunder claps and rolls
And shakes the ground
With a mighty sound.
The rain falls like a waterfall
With constant strength
And the sound to put you to sleep.
You can smell it coming.
And if you're lucky enough
You get a rainbow somewhere in there.
The bright, brilliant colors
That stretch across the sky like a banner.
Soak it up.
Don't run from it.
Don't complain about the rainy days
Because they are still beautiful.
It ends.
And somewhere in-between
We see a beautiful storm.
You see the storm clouds
With fierce furry,
Stealing the blue skies away.
You see the lightening
Streak across the sky like veins
And the power!
Oh, the power!
Beautiful but dangerous.
The thunder claps and rolls
And shakes the ground
With a mighty sound.
The rain falls like a waterfall
With constant strength
And the sound to put you to sleep.
You can smell it coming.
And if you're lucky enough
You get a rainbow somewhere in there.
The bright, brilliant colors
That stretch across the sky like a banner.
Soak it up.
Don't run from it.
Don't complain about the rainy days
Because they are still beautiful.
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