The other day I realized something. A lot of our lives
are made up of coping mechanisms to deal with things we don't like, that are
uncomfortable, that make us sad, etc. Some are small, and some are huge.
Some small ones for me are... If I'm standing in a long
line to get coffee, food, checkout at a store, etc. then I get on my phone to
be on Facebook, e-mail, etc. (I think this post will have a lot of etc's on
here, haha.) It distracts me from realizing that I'm waiting. And it doubles up
as multitasking. Sometimes I eat chocolate because I had a bad day, as if that
makes my day better. When I have a lot of things to tell my friend Emily but we
can't get together soon then I make a list, and then I feel better because I
know I won't forget what I wanted to tell her. At work, when I don't like the
way something smells (toffee nut syrup, hazelnut syrup, cinnamon dolce syrup,
trash, bathrooms, old coffee, spinach feta wraps...) then I breathe through my
mouth. Sometimes when I'm washing dishes for hours at work or I'm driving a
long distance, then I day dream. Either totally made up scenarios, possible
scenarios, or just thinking about future events that are coming up (leadership
retreats, church events, trips, etc).
I won't describe the bigger ones in my life, but they are surely there.
It makes me think of these verses...
"We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to
put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing." - 2 Corinthians 5:2
"But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus
Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior."
- Philippians 3:20
"For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future
day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all
creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks
forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from
death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the
pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan,
even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory,
for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait
with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his
adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us." - Romans
8:19-23
Simply living in our bodies, physically, we are in
constant "coping mechanisms" mode! When we get cold we put on more
clothes or a jacket. When we are outside too much we have to put sunscreen on to
protect our skin. When we get hurt we have to take medicine, put on bandaids,
or rest more. When our skin is too dry, we put on lotion. To prevent smelling
bad, we put on deodorant and shower. To sleep better, we get body pillows,
specific pillows and mattresses, or sound machines.
Don't let your coping mechanisms be negative, harmful, or
dangerous. I get it - life is hard. And other people's lives are harder than
mine, and I can't say "I know you feel," to everything everybody is
going through, as if that would make someone feel all better. But getting
drunk, doing drugs, watching porn, avoiding everybody for long periods of time,
always running away from dealing with problems, lying, cheating, stealing,
watching Netflix for 8 hours every day and doing nothing else... The list could
go on.
Don't let your coping mechanisms be a cop-out if you
really need to deal with something. "Band aids don't fix bullet
holes." - Taylor Swift.
Some of your coping mechanisms will always fail because
what you really need is God. God isn't a coping mechanism, He is the ultimate
problem solver, the only one able to change your circumstances or outlook, the
healer of physical and emotional pain, the one who can give you patience and
self-control that is directly from Him that you couldn't muster up yourself,
and the one who can provide for you in ways you couldn't provide for yourself.
It doesn't mean our lives will be all perfect once we decide to follow God,
because we still live in a world where other people's lives affect ours
negatively or we make bad decisions and then have the consequences to follow up
with those decisions. But will do great things.
