Imbalance

It's been the longest six weeks I've had in a long time! Not because they are bad, but because I am in this weird limbo, and time sits still. 

Sometimes I feel extra motivated, and I do my whole week's to do list in about three hours. Other times it takes me a week to do three things on my to do list. Sometimes I don't see people for three days in a row, and I feel stressed and crave being around friends, and then some weeks I see friends every single day and then I need more alone time. I can't get the right balance down right now. 

Some days I job search for four hours and apply to five jobs. Some days I don't job search at all, or I job search for two hours and can't find anything at all so I stop. I wonder at times if I'm going to be job searching for the next five years, and other times I'm like well I must have an awesome job up ahead for satan to be working so hard for me not to get it. 

Some days I spend two hours praying, reading the bible, and spending time with the Lord. Other days I'm pushing to do it for 15 minutes. (And of course all of the in-between amounts of times too.) 

Waiting.