Overrated

I enjoy the end of the year recaps - seeing what books I read, what songs I listened to most, what goals I reached, and what God did in my life and others. But to me, New Year's Eve is overrated.

Several years ago, I got together with friend from my bible study. We had planned out games and stuff to do, we were going to say what word we picked for the next year for our lives, and then were going to set off Japanese lanterns in a neighborhood field. WAY more people came than we had planned, so I was overwhelmed by the number of people, and nothing we had planned actually happened. Then for the lanterns, they wouldn't get off the ground, or the wind would pick it up and almost drop it again. I was afraid we were going to catch something - or someone - on fire. Especially when one went towards a bunch of trees and almost hit the top of it. The whole night was stressful to me.

For a few year before that, I had to work nights at Starbucks and didn't get off until around 9, and so by the time I'd get somewhere, games were already in the middle of happening, and the night was short before it was midnight.

But for the last several years, it's been a weird thing where people are all busy / out of town, or want to hang out with other friends and not me. So I've been at home on New Year's Eve for a few years now. And the 4th of July. And my birthday turnouts haven't been what I'd hoped for for the past few years. So when these holidays come around, I get all sad and angry. I have to remind myself that even if people are doing a bunch of things tonight, it doesn't mean they're even enjoying it. (See second paragraph.) It doesn't mean my friends don't like me. I remind myself that it's just another day of the year. I have lots of other days with friends. Yesterday I went to IHOP for lunch after church and then Starbucks, both with my friend Anna. Thursday I went to Starbucks with my friend Katlyn for like 4 hours (and also held her two week old baby). On Christmas Eve I went to Taco Bell after our Christmas Eve service with my friends the Bakers. (Hey! A holiday!) The previous Tuesday I went on a day trip with two friends.

I'm sure it will go in cycles, where I'll have years with friends and parties and things to go do on holidays, and then other years where I won't again. Some years I'll have a blast, and some years I'll be miserable and leave early.

I have to go to bed at 10:00 tonight anyways (or maybe 9:30) because I've been adjusting my sleep schedule for work, and I can't mess it up the day before I start my job. Don't know how much I'll actually sleep though because my neighborhood is ALL about the fireworks, I mean for hours. And days. It's stupid. It's 7 PM right now and they've already started and will go for the next 6 hours. Currently praying for rain. Hahahaha. It's already coming but I hope it comes faster.

So, another overrated night of the year of sitting in my room. Here's to hoping next NYE is a little different.