Ocean deep

“Jesus responded, ‘Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?’” – John 11:40

I’m standing at the Red Sea with the Egyptians at my heels, and the sea hasn’t parted. I’m sitting at Lazarus’ tomb and Jesus hasn’t raised him yet. I’m walking around Jericho every day and the walls haven’t fallen. I’m taking three steps forward, two steps back like Joseph as he made his way towards where God wanted him when God gave him the dream. I heard the Lord. But my circumstances are at a standstill. They’re ocean deep, dead, huge-wall-high, prison-chains-depressing.

Step one – ask. Check.

Step two – listen. Check.

Step three – ask for crazy God-confirmations. Check check check check check.

Step four – obey. I think check?

Step five – wait. CHHHEEECCCCKKKKKKK.

Repeat.

Today as I prayed and washed dishes I was mad. I told God I’m not praying today or tomorrow about this situation I’m talking about. Because I need two days off. Not from prayer, but from praying about “the thing.” But tonight I felt like God said nah, you just need to thank me and praise me about it and only say positive things about it.

So I thanked him for speaking. I thanked him for confirming things. I thanked him for his perfect timing and his perfect plans. I thanked him for his working when I cannot see. I thanked him for the future and what is to come. I thanked him that someday when all is said and done, that this story will bring him glory and hopefully bring others closer to him. I thanked him for the people who listen in my struggling, and the ones who don’t get tired of asking how it’s going. I thanked him that he provides in big ways and small ways, daily small things that are beautiful if I just keep my eyes open for them. I thanked him for being a steady ground and a steady rock when my heart hurts and my fears creep in and the lies start coming in. I thanked him for the bible which shows me awesome stories from the beginning to the end. I thanked him for how he is going to do a miracle soon.