I sit in the silence of my bedroom, but I am actually sitting before the throne of God, laying my fears and anxiety and petitions at His feet, waiting to hear His answer through the silence, and through the Holy Spirit within me. I'm not playing the video game Battlefield, I am spiritually battling on The Battlefield on which Heaven's Armies are fighting. I'm not passively wasting hours on Netflix, Facebook, and other things on the internet, I'm actively pleading with the Lord to change my life, my circumstances, and my heart, along with all three of those things for the people I love in my life. I'm not watching wrestling on TV, I am wrestling with the Lord Himself through fasting, prayer, and seeking Him.
While I've had no plans this past week or even this past year for vacations, and no time was spent with friends this week, it was not a week wasted just working - I let the One who satisfies my soul fill me up on more than it would on a vacation, and let Him fill me with more wisdom and love than any human ever could. Not that there isn't a time for either of those things - and I wish I could travel and wish I had time with friends this week - but God is simply choosing to strip away all other things so that I can focus and listen, so that I can flee from sin, and so that distractions are minor.
It is in the times when we are alone that He comes to wrestle with us and speak to us. It is the rainy days that water the plants to bloom and grow trees that bear fruit. God came to Elijah not in the loudness of the storm, but in the silence to follow.
When I feel uncertain and afraid and lost, I remind myself that my life is built upon the Rock and not the shifting sands, and that He will direct my paths when I trust in Him. His Word is a lamp unto my feet. He is my shield, my fortress, my stronghold. These beautiful promises and reminders are what I fix my eyes on because the things that are seen are temporary and the things that are unseen will last forever. I trust that He is working in my waiting. I trust that His timing is perfect. I trust that He will show me He is ways, speak to me, and answer prayers. What a beautiful Savior we serve, to give us the Holy Spirit to comfort us, to intercede for us, to convict us, and to guide us!
